Should I invite my coworkers to my wedding?

Question

I work in a VERY large corporation and a huge office, but my department only consists of 10 people. However, if I were to invite everyone with dates that's an extra 20 people, and our wedding is only for 80 or so, so 20 extra would make a huge difference.

I am close to three people out of my department. Can I invite them but not everyone else? Can I invite just them and not invite my boss? Also, my wedding is on a friday, so everyone who is not invited would definitely find out that I invited some other people, because they would all need to leave early to make my wedding. I don't want to offend or alienate anyone, but I feel that it is too much for me to invite 20 extra people.

What do you think? Thanks!

Answer 1

Invite ONLY those people with whom you have a SOCIAL, not a BUSINESS relationship. Do you do things with these people that don't involve work? If both you and the person changed jobs, would you and this person be likely to stay in close touch, to spend time together regularly? Especially ask yourself these questions when it comes to inviting the boss. What you intend to be a friendly gesture will be interpreted as begging for gifts, so invite ONLY people who are actually FRIENDS and not just professional colleagues. If you want to do something to include your co-workers in the celebration then ask the boss about bringing in cupcakes or some other treat for your department.  

Answer 2

As a co-worker of a very nice young lady who is getting married this fall....NO!

In all reality, if the company reorganized and you got a job in another town, would you maintain life-long contact?  If you would (and be realistic), then yes.

But, in the real world, with people driving 50+ miles to work, they really aren't usually in your circle of friends.  That day has come and gone.

Answer 3

sure. . . if you want to its YOUR wedding.

Answer 4

Don't invite any of them, honestly. I invited a small handful of people, and six months later our company closed and now I will never see those people again. I wish now that I had invited some other friends instead. If you don't invite anyone, then no one can feel offended.

Answer 5

Do you hang out with those three people outside work and not usually anyone else? Then invite them and not the others.

This excuse always works like a charm, and is hard to get mad over:

"I'm sorry, as much as i would love to invite everyone we know, our wedding venue is very small and has limited seating, and we're pushing maximum capacity as it is." If anyone asks about the other three who get invited if you chose to (which would be rude if them to ask, by the way), simply say, "I understand, but these people have become an important part of my personal life outside the officer as well, I hope you understand." They most certainly should.

Also, you don't HAVE to put "and guest" on their invitations, even if you're only inviting the three people. Unless they are married or living with a significant other, many people (including myself - small wedding here, too!) won't put "and guest" on the invite.

EDIT: Also, if you aren't super close to these 10people, most of them will probably be relived to not get invited. That means they won't have to think of an excuse to not go, and they won't have to get you a gift:) I would just bring pictures )if it's that kind of office) when you get them back to show everyone, and just thank people for general support when they ask about plans, etc. My office is small also, and we all get along, but I'm not inviting anyone, and they all know that and are fine with it. The "small wedding" thing works like a charm.

Answer 6

Wow  you either invite all or none.  You might make enemies if you pick and choose from work.  Email all of them and tell them you are having a small wedding and family and very close friends only, BUT when you return to work you will have a cake brought in for all.

That should be Ok  and if people get mad then the h**l with them  it's your wedding and you know what you can afford.

Answer 7

Invite who you wan't. If those 3 people are who you wan't there then so be it. I'm only inviting a few from my work.

Answer 8

Have you been talking about your wedding plans all along?  If so, your coworkers should have gotten the picture by now that you're having a small ceremony and reception and they shouldn't expect to be invited.

If you're only going to invite 3 of your coworkers, DON'T hand them their invitations at work - mail them.  But do take each of them aside and let them know that you can't invite the entire department.  That will let them know that they shouldn't make a big announcement, like, "Who's going to the wedding?  Are you taking a date?  Do you want to carpool?"

Also, on the subject of inviting coworkers.  I've been invited to coworkers weddings a handful of times over the years, and I've never yet had a bride invite "Coworker and Date" or "Coworker and Spouse."  The dates and the spouses rarely know the bride or groom, so there's really no point in dragging them along.  It is perfectly okay not to invite the dates and spouses and kids of people you work with.  Remember, a wedding is a RELIGIOUS function, not a date situation.