Should I invite my ex's mother to my wedding?

Question

Should my ex's mother be invited to the wedding?

i knew my ex's mother before my ex. for years actually. we went to the same catholic church and we both work there. And my mother has known her for 30 years from the same church. 6/7 years ago i started dating her son. She considered me her daughter and we were very close and heavily involved in eachothers family. my ex and i broke up after 3 years. But me and his mother maintained our relationship. she still calls me her daughter. i see her 2wice a week. (not by choice) she talks to my mom occasionally. and shes always calling me and inviting me to go places with her or do her hair or fix something for her. Now she knows me and her son are never going to happen. esspecially since he's moved across the country a year and a half ago.

Now my fiance of 3 years are getting married and i dont know if i should inviite her to the wedding. Now she doesnt know im officially engaged. she sees him around and knows we are together. My fiance despises my ex. but i invite this woman to every event me or my family has and vice versa.

and i should mention, her friends are close friends of my family as well and will be involved and invited to the wedding as well as a great deal of people from the church. so she would be the only one not invited.

Im doing the guestlist then giving it to my fiance to look over. He will see her name on it, but probably not say anything even if he doesnt want her there. I dont know what to do. I dont really care if shes there or not. id probably like it better if she isnt there & she probably deep down wouldnt want to come either. but i dont want to seem 2 be rude/mean to her.

Answer 1

Of course you invite her!  The only thing that matters is that you and she love and respect each other.

I dated a young man once upon a time and really thought we would get married.  His parents loved me and treated me like I was their own from the first time we ever met.  They were heartbroken when he broke up with me.  Two years later when I married my husband, I invited my ex's parents (but not the ex).  They were packing their car to drive across the state for my wedding, when her brother-in-law next door had a heart attack.  They waited for the ambulance but were still going to try to make that 8-hour drive to be at my wedding!  They even bought us this gorgeous - and expensive - print that signed, numbered, matted, and framed.  It was probably the most expensive gift we got.

They were important to me.  And their son was far in my past by then, so my husband had no problems with sending them an invitation.

Answer 2

I am an ex mother in law and my ex daughter in law recently got remarried.  We were quite close over the years and there is a grandchild involved but I was not invited to her wedding and that was appropriate.  You are starting a new life with a new man why bring old memories into it on you wedding day.  She should more than understand, I did.  I sent her nice card and wished her well and have since congratulated both of them in person.  It is your fiance's wedding day too and I really don't think it is something he wants to be thinking about on that day.  Congrats! and Good Luck!

Answer 3

"Now she doesnt know im officially engaged"

If she was not part of sharing the great news about the wedding why would she be going there. This is the beginning of a new life without her and her family. You will tell her you are getting married but it is going to be with close friends and family and openly say how that would be weird if you were there. If she is close to the family she will know and feel that too....and respect your decision not to put you two in that weird situation, and your husband!