Should I just let this friendship go?

Question

I already asked this, but didn't get many replies...

Brace yourself, this is a LONG story.

So me and my best friend met in the beginning of 6th grade. We could relate so easily and we got along perfectly. I could talk to her about anything. We were devastated when I had to move 400 miles away. We continued to talk on the phone every day, and she even came to visit twice. The first time we were really excited to hang out for a week, and it was just like old times. Then the second time she came, she was...different. She started being really obsessive about everything, especially her weight. She was always a little bigger, but it suited her and she was still in great shape. Then she just complained the whole time...it was like she was a completely different person. My whole family just wanted to kill themselves because she was being so annoying. She was originally going to stay for two weeks, but I talked her into leaving early with my cousin (in a nice way, because she kept complaining about not having enough time to go school shopping when she got back).

I only talked to her a few times on the phone after that for the next few months, and then didn't talk to her at all. I started missing her a lot after that, and I found her MySpace the following summer.

I told her I lost her number and I was sorry we haven't talked in so long, and she seemed a little better than she was before. I visited a few months later and it was ALMOST like old times, but still somehow not the same.

We kind of talked after that, but not really. That year kinda just went by...

Then I moved back around May. She was even more obsessive and annoying. She complained about her weight 24/7 and all she talked about was clothes. It got really irritating. But I had no other friends here, so I tried to hold onto our friendship when we were clearly growing apart.

Then, in June, I took her to see Wicked (the musical), but she paid for her own ticket. It was absolutely amazing, and then she spent the night. That's the last time I saw her in person...I would call so we could hang out, but she would say she was busy. I doubt that she actually was. She would make plans with her other friends after we made plans.

But one day...I called her and she was with her other friends. I asked if we could go to the movies or something, and she kept saying she was doing something with her friends. I just said "oh..well it seems like you keep making plans with your other friends before me, but whatever, it doesn't matter". Being the slight airhead she is, she didn't really understand I was mad. She just said she would call me tomorrow. I said okay and hung up...of course she NEVER called. Not once this whole summer. So I never called, either, although sometimes I feel guilty. There's this voice in the back of my mind telling me to call her because she's been my best friend for so long (longer than anyone has ever stayed best friends with me).

Do you think I should just let it go?

Answer 1

It seems obvious that your friend has changed.  And it can be very tough losing a friend but in the end, everything works out.  And everything happens for a reason.

You don't have to let go completely, just don't feel bad for not calling.  Especially when she's the one that should feel bad.  And don't get upset about her anymore.

I know that it sucks when you feel as if you only have that one good friend left.. I've been in that spot a few times.  The only thing to do is try and make a few new friends.  Talk more at school with people and you can stay in contact with your friend.  Just don't let her bring you down anymore.

And if you can't take it anymore then talk things out with her.  Make her at least listen to what you have to say.  And if she's changed so much that she won't even do that or understand... Then let go.

People change so that we can learn to let go.

Answer 2

You've done what you've could.  It doesn't sound like she's interested in remaining friends.  Sorry.

Answer 3

you should call even if it is for a minute tell her that she is making you upset. and if she keeps making plans ask her if you can join if she says no then maybe you should find new friends sorry

Answer 4

I can relate to your story.  I had some friends I met in elementary school, like you we talked on the phone, went to each others houses, went places and got along great.  My family and I moved and I still kept in touch with them, we chatted on the phone, once in awhile we stayed over each others house but, things weren't the same as when we lived close by. We were going to different schools, meeting other people, making other friends..growing up and we found we had less in common.and eventually lost touch. Years later we ran into one another in a store and decided to keep in touch..that didn't last long. You said that when you moved back in May that you didn't have any other friends, but kept in touch with this girl who was extremely annoying, after all you've known each other for so long.  I think you need to measure friendship more than on the years you've known each other.  This girl doesn't seem interested in the same things.  You've  grown apart, you're older and are changing.  My thoughts are that yes, you've known each other a long time, but really, it's time to move on and make some other friends.  You could get involved in activities at school and can make some great friends..ones that share your interests.  

Answer 5

don't feel bad at all. You did all you could. Although it is sad people grow apart. It happens. That's just life. Let it go cause if you don't it will clearly just cause you more hurt then it will for her.  

Answer 6

Ugghh... it's so typical lol! No offense meant or anything!

You hear about this stuff so often though, really... I guess if you really do feel guilty and really miss her, go for it. Don't let that ego hold you back. It looks like you've tried your best though, and she's sort of pushing you away, which is her fault. someday she'd probably realise what she's lost. If you really want to, give her a call but if she's the same as before and... "makes plans with her other friends before you" or pretends she is busy, just let it go. Sometimes the more it's obvious you want to stay friends, the more they push you away.

hope it works out alright xx