Should I keep a gift of several bras from a patient?

Question

i am a dental hygienist. I have seen a particular patient for several years. i recently celebrated me 28th birthday . This patient gave me a gift but i did not open it until he had left. i couldn't believe it! in the box were 3 beautiful lace bras , wrong size though!! not even close. no there is nothing between us now or ever. shold i keep them to get the right sizes or return them to him?I still can't believe it!!!!

Answer 1

He might have inadvertently gave you the wrong gift.  Better have someone in your office (not you) check with him to verify.

If he meant them for you, exchange them for ones.  Alternatively, donate them UNWASHED and still with the tags to a charity like Goodwill or Salvation Army so they can sell them and help someone in need.

Answer 2

He's fantasizing about you wearing them.

Answer 3

That is very weird. I agree that you should give them back, because if you keep them he may think that you "accepted" them and accept his overtures and are OK with his creepiness.

But if it's too uncomfortable to see him again just to give them back, why not donate them to charity? Gigi's Closet has a great "Bras for Charity" program.

http://www.gigiscloset.com/catalog/Gigi_...

Answer 4

well if you like the guy keep them and tell them you loved them the next time you see him, but if your not interested in him then give them back.

Answer 5

NO! It's a present from a degenerate, a box of candy would be appropriate, not lingerie, give it back and tell this patient it's against policy to accept gifts...

Answer 6

Let him fantasize.

You keep them. :D

Answer 7

Intimate apparel is not just a gift. As a hygienist, your customer is compromising the professional nature of your work relationship. Thank the customer for the sentiment, but insist very politely the you cannot accept such a gift. Next time, don't open it. A bottle of wine or a modest bunch of flowers would be much more appropriate.

Answer 8

better keep them returning them is showing of ur stupidity

Answer 9

be careful because sometimes people give gifts in hope there will be something in return. I strongly discourage dating patients, students, and employees because there is a relationship of unequal power. you could explain to him that you can't accept his gift  because of rules as an employee (even if it is not true if you feel weird about getting his gift) and give it back. But it is really up to you. just be careful.

Answer 10

If there's never going to be anything between you, you may consider returning it to him.  Only because they are bras, and laced.  Sounds too much like a hint.  

However, it is a gift, and you have been his...dentist? for several years, so it could be considered a gift for all the work you've done on him.  

That and it seems like you dig the present.  Plus as someone else said, it would probably make him feel pretty bad.

I don't know, being a guy, I wouldn't get that for a woman I wasn't attracted to, and interested in.  But that's just me.

Answer 11

get the right sizes.....think of it from his shoes.....giving always feels better than recieving, but what if you gave it back? he would feel bad..

Answer 12

I would return it and make sure you are all buttoned up the next time you work on him.  A gift like that is not appropriate.

Answer 13

LMAO! That is SO WEIRD! omg I wouldn't keep them, and ask him about it, or remove him as a patient! lol thats funny though. good luck!  

Answer 14

Definately inform your boss. and then return the gift, even if you really like the bras hahaha. otherwise you could find yourself in a bit of a bad situation.  

Answer 15

Keep them and get the right sizes,

:]

Answer 16

I don't know, maybe you should return them, because if you accepted them he might have taken that as an invite to ask you out or expects for you reply to him in some way. Plus I'm not sure how it works at the Dr. offices but I know most companies have policies against receiving gifts from work and you could get into trouble for that. You can't say that it isn't an odd gift to give, not like perfume or a gift certificate to a spa. To me it sounds like he has thought of you more than just his Dental Hygentist, not patient brings in lace bras as thank you's.

Answer 17

I would ask him why he gave you those bras in the first place and then decide what to do based on his answer.  

Answer 18

Return them. He may be stalkerish and by accepting this gift he may think he has a chance.

Answer 19

i would keep them, theyre a present!! haha no matter what it is.  just return them to get the right size hahaha

Answer 20

If it was just from a friend and there is nothing between you two, and you don't think that he will make something of it, then ya keep them, and exchange them for the right size!! Maybe he got them for someone else who didnt want them, so he gave them to you.

Answer 21

I would want to keep the gift but the right thing to do is to give it back to him ...  

Answer 22

Don't read to much into this..

I'm sure the gift is an innocent exchange of appreciation..

Then again ,,kind of a weird gift from a patient.

Oh well,, except it

Free bras,, maybe you'll eventually grow into them....kidding .

Good luck

Answer 23

1st: if you keep them, you are letting "him" know that you are willing to accept more and you are compromising yourself to answering more questions from him (i.e. did they fit? do they look nice? did you like them... can I see them? bla bla bla)

2nd: if you want NOTHING from him, give them back.  I am sure you can afford your own lingerie, besides if it was a different type of gift you would have to be cautious anyway, now imagine underwear...too intimate!

Answer 24

well, of course you should keep them, I mean, thought that counts right? And they are beautiful, just go to the store and get another size,  

Answer 25

that is an inappropriate gift. Return them to him, unless you have an interest in him outside the office

Answer 26

I think that if you keep them that he will want to see you in them... And you don't want that as you said so just give them back!

Answer 27

Yeah just keep them. In case you ever see the patient again and they ask do you still have them and you can say yeah. I wear them everyday.

Answer 28

because every time you work on him, that's what he's lookin at honey.If you like them keep them.I would consider it a compliment. you obviously must have a nice rack...

Answer 29

Ah, return them.  That is too personal of a gift from a man that you only know as being his hygienist.  And a little too creepy if you ask me.

If you keep them, his next request won't be rinse or gargle, it will be suction and model the new bras for him.

Answer 30

As a medical professional, look to your training and ethics. This is an intimate gift. Accepting it can lead to problems.

Answer 31

Never look a gift horse in the mouth. But since you don't know him well enough to except such a personal gift I think you should give it back with a strong THANK BUT NO THANK YOU.