Should I keep her back or give her a chance ?

Question

My child is 5 she went to pre-k and kg, she is now about to go to the 1st grade.They told me my child did not do well on her reading test.She has trouble with some words,but what child do not. I sit down with her and go over her words but I get easily annoyed with the lesson.But she knows a lot and reads ok to me( I think).I do not want to keep her back but I do not want to move her forward if she is not ready. What should I do? Should I keep her back or give her a chance? I do not see any problem,but i am the mother and could just be blind.

Answer 1

jst to b specific.......

i dun think u shuld keep her bak.....

dont waste a year because it is very valuable......

i think u shuld put her into the next grade.....

with tat u can sit with her and everyday revise things done in the previous grade......as well as little by little of the previous grade

with this exercise her basics will become stronger as well as she will b doin things done in the class everyday!

Answer 2

1)  If you are going to recycle them,it's best to do it in a different school and at the youngest possible age.

2)  Holding kids back has been statistically shown to improve their academic and athletic performance in the early grades.

3) Holding kids back has been statistically shown to increase the likelihood of their dropping out in the later grades.

My eldest had been in pre-K and K and had a late August birthday.  (She made the age cutoff by 4 days.)  I thought she read reasonably well for somebody who was just entering first, but when I observed the classroom in late K, I realized that she wasn't up to the standard of the other kids.  Nevertheless, I decided to push her ahead with at home and professional tutoring.  Big mistake.  We were able to keep her on track, but by devoting most of her free time to tutoring.  I offered to recycle her at 2nd grade, but she didn't want to do it because of the shame factor.  I did recycle her after third grade because we moved to a different state and she could repeat the year without humiliating her, and that turned out to be an excellent decision.  She finally felt normal in the classroom and settled down, and all was hunky dory until puberty, which she entered earlier than most.   Now, suddenly she was out of sync with her classmates, and trying to hang around with her age mates in the older classes, and acting all defiant etc.  She declared her intention of dropping out the moment she was 18 and I wouldn't be able to prevent it any more.  I started sending her to college credit courses after 10th grade in hs to let her see how much nicer college is than hs, and we were able to compromise; she agreed to accelerate by taking courses through an online hs program which allowed her credit for what was eventually 23 credits of college work plus 5 hs courses done through the program in addition to her regular hs load, and she skipped 12th grade.  She moved into the dorm to start her freshman year at college yesterday 2 weeks before her 18th birthday, with the equivalent of a semester of college to the good, no remedial classes, and no accomodations.  Some people graduate hs *** laude, and others thankyou laude that's what I say....  

My youngest was an excellent reader at age 5, but was shy and socially backward.  She was not ready emotionally for a competitive first grade program, and when I took her for her interview she ended the matter by answering the softball question lobbed by the teacher, What does your mother do for a living, honey? by saying My mother shoots people, like you, with a gun.  (No she didn't watch any TV, and she'd never been to a movie rated over G at the time.)  I'm a physician, and they knew this because my elder kid was in the school, so they thought this was hilarious, but they suggested she go into their upper kindergarten program instead.)  I thought their upper kindergarten program was insufficiently challenging, so I sent her to do first grade at the local public school instead, where she had friends from her day care, and then repeated first grade at the private school.  By then she was much more socially adept, and everybody was saying, My what a difference a year makes at this age!  I plan to have her skip eighth grade however, because I am concerned about high school given the saga of my eldest.

Answer 3

I am a teacher and a mother, so I have been on both sides.  As a mother, I know how easy it is to be "blind" to things concerning our own children.  As a teacher, I know how frustrating it is when parents don't consider our advice.  I'm going to speak as a teacher - 1.  5 years old is young, children in our area are 6 going on 7 when in first grade.  Many, many times a child that is young for their grade has a lot of issues socially down the road (late middle school and high school).  It really does make a huge difference; now, your area may have different ages for grade levels, so it may not be an issue in your case.  2.  As well as you know your child and have your own feelings and hopes for her; remember, teachers are professionals, they have gone to college for a degree in education and child development.  They have worked with a number of children that are at this age and have a comparison base - if they have a concern about her reading it should definitely be looked into further.  3.  Keeping a child back is a big decision - in some cases it is obvious, and in some cases (such as your daughters) it is a borderline.  There should be more than just you and one teacher making this decision.  Is there a reading specialist at the school?  Can other teachers in both kindergarten and first grade look at the test results and be in on the decision?  In this case I think it would be a poor choice either way to have the decision based solely on one teacher's opinion and the opinion of the parent.  4.  The stigma of having a child stay back is what keeps many parents from having their child held and that truly is a shame.  I am certified K-12 and have worked with all of these grade levels.  I have seen many cases where parents have children in late middle school and high school say "well, we probably should have held him/her back in first/second/whatever grade but didn't want to do that to him/her."  and truth be told, that student would have been in A LOT better place if they had stayed back.  In quite a bit of cases, what harm is it really doing?  Stay back a grade (and at a younger age the better because they don't really understand) and get a stronger foundation  or continue on and be a little behind the others?

Ok, so it sounds like I am trying to talk you into having her stay back - but I truly am not.  I don't know you or your daughter or the teacher that made this recommendation and I certainly don't know what is best in this situation.  I just know that if it was brought up then it is worth looking into and not just deciding that it isn't something you want to do.  There are a lot of positives that can come out of holding back; but that doesn't mean that is the case in this situation.  Reading is such an essential skill that is the key to every class and every piece of education, make sure that the decision that is made is in the best interest of your child's future - honestly, what you decide for here in first grade has a tremendous effect on her when she is in her high school years.

If I were to speak as a parent - well, I would have a difficult time having my child stay back, especially if it was a borderline case.  I would need to have a lot of input from other educators and specialists before making the decision - and long story short, that is my suggestion for you.

Answer 4

I will tell you the situation I had with my son: we had a private school for preK, and the teacher recommended holding my child back as "not ready for school". Now, I knew my child was bright, and refused that "recommendation", for that's all that it was. Consider this teacher suggestion like you would a doctor opinion- if you have doubts about it- get a second opinion!  We ended up doing formal testing to see if my child had ADD, etc, but he ended up just being bright, with no disabilities at all. The teacher we had was highly biased, and our gut instincts turned out to be correct- our child had a very high IQ, and holding him back would have been a huge mistake. Trust your instincts, but you might also look to another professional teacher (maybe one with YEARS more experience) to evaluate your daughter. Only if the second evaluation matches the first, then you should hold her back. There are many ways of helping a child forward rather than just hold them back to make them repeat a grade. IMHO, a child should be held back only if there are multiple issues (over-all immaturity, illness, small size, emotional issues, etc), but I wouldn't use "not reading yet" ever as a sole criteria for stopping a child from entering 1st grade.