Should I leave my Boyfriend?

Question

My bf and i have been together for 4years we've talked about marriage and having kids.. very recently hes decided hes not ready to get married or have kids I found this news heartbreaking and it caused a fight i told him i do not want to wait 5-10 years to get married and have kids i am already 23... lately ive been feeling as if i am being ignored weather it is true or not its how i feel i tried to talk to him about it and he got mad and refused to talk it out.. it seems as if things as on the decline he doesn't seem to want me around.. He is very wonderful he takes good care of me but has trouble finding and keeping work he likes, and is very stubborn.. i feel as though are relationship has lost its spark and He doesn't want to do anything about it. We are very involved in each others family lives and his niece adores me( for some reason :p) .. about 2 weeks ago i met a man who tells me I'm beautiful and wants to spend every moment he can in my presence when i ask what we should do he says thing like " we can do whatever you want as long as i can be near you" when I'm with him i feel as if time has st opedd hours pass while we talk and when its time to go home we both put it off.. all of that being said I'mm a bit worried hes just a smooth talker ) but hes very different from other boys who say nice things just to get laid.. ) I really love my b/f but i thinkI'mm falling hard for this other man... if there is a chance for me to be happier shouldn'tt i take it? but what about the family? we live together and its expected that we will be married soon..

as for this other man i feel like i should talk to him and see if he wants to be dating me and what he feels our future holds but idon'tt want to scare him off either hes a good friend...

Answer 1

he sounds like my friends bloke

only they have a kid.

when the child was born he said we will get married when he is 5 years old so he can enjoy our happiness and understand it

the kid is now 4 nearly 5 and he has said he isnt bothered about the wedding and he would rather have a very long engagement

it has broke my friends heart and she has thrown him out of the house.

personally i would leave him

you are falling for another guy anyway and your current guy sounds so stubborn.

you dont say if you live together. if you dont its obivous he isnt ready to commit to you.

Answer 2

hun....he's NOT different he only is trying to get laid. Look how long you've been with your b/f and he's changed and so will this other guy. Trust me men will say anything to get what they want. The only reason you "think" you are falling for this guy is cuz you are having problems in your relationship and this new guy is saying all the right things that you want to hear. That's all it is.  You need to try and work things out with your b/f. Your b/f is just being reasonable...he's right maybe he isn't ready to start a family...23 is still very young. He's doing the right thing. He's looking for a job so he can support you and kids if you ever do get married. He's prob. a little depressed and doesn't know how to take things. You should be trying to work things out with your b/f instead of trying to shack up with this "player" guy. What you are doing to your b/f isn't fair. If he isn't committing to your needs then leave him, but don't be hanging around this guy if you are with someone. You are going to hurt your boyfriend and his family (niece). You aren't being fair to him and sounds like you are a little selfish. If you don't want him then break it off, but don't keep doing what you are doing to him. You prob. don't like my answer, but it's honest. You need to think about both ends and not just yourself.

Answer 3

Your current guy has told you he doesn't want to get married or have kids now.  That seems pretty clear. If you and he have different life goals, then I marriage would not work.  I would persue this connection with the new guy and see what happens.  Good communication is a must in a relationship and if your current bf is shutting you out and not talking to you, that is a sign of things to come.  Talk to your bf openly...tell him your dreams and goals of a family and kids.  Tell him what you need.  If he can't give that to you, you must move on.  It is nice that the niece likes you, but you are not marrying her....you must find a partner who has similar goals and beliefs as you if you want the relationship to work...who knows, this new guy could be a perfect match....talk to him and tell him your concerns.  If he is scared away, it is better that you find out his feelings now versus a year from now if you were to have a relationship with him.  Good luck

Answer 4

can you say COMPLICATED? First of all, 23 is nothing. Obviously there is nothing wrong with marrying the right guy if you are 23, but there is nothing wrong with being single either. Think of it this way - it's a HECK of a lot better than, say, 27, divorced, and taking care of a couple of kids, since your ex can't hold down a job. Or 25, married, but your husband resents you so much, he cheats with everything that has a skirt. Here's what you need to do: Step 1 - figure out a way to move out, either back with your family, or with a roommate, or whatever. You need to be able to live on your own. Don't tell your bf about it. Just prepare, pack your things, and leave. There isn't one good reason for you to be with a guy who is neither capable of supporting a family nor is interested in doing so. Step 2 - stay away from the other guy alltogether. It is unhealthy for a guy to want to spend that much time with a girl. The reverse side of such behavior is being a control freak - becuase he will get upset with YOU at some point if you don't want to spend every waking moment with him.  I think it's important for you to realize that it's perfectly OK to be single. Focus on figuring out who you are, how you want to live your life, maybe further your education, whatever. Once you are comfortable with being single, you know who you are and what you want in life, focus on finding the type of man you really want to be with - steady job, interested in family, shares your values, etc. There is no good reason to tie yourself down to a loser simply because he happens to have a p***s, and you THINK it will make your family happy. Trust me, there are plenty of scenarios where its healthier to be alone than with someone.  

Answer 5

the writings on the wall he can't keep a job thats telling you not to get married and have kids right there and for the new guy tell him that you are not going to give him any s*x until you get married because of your current situation and mean it check out his response and that will tell you everything that you need to know