Should I leave my fiance?

Question

Recently I have been fighting with my fiance. we have been together for 3 years, and have lived together for a while too. My problem is that he drinks too much at times, and takes off. I have also found out that he goes to online dating sites, and says he's looking for a discreet relationship. I confronted him about that and he said that he's sorry and never cheated on me. He says he wants to make it work, but i'm not sure if i want to. He gets jealous if i go anywhere without him. and recently i've been hanging out with another guy, just as friends, but i'm finding myself having feelings for him. any advise?

Answer 1

sweetheart it is time to move on...good luck

Answer 2

Yeah, I'd drop that zero and get myself a hero.

Answer 3

Marriage is a big step in life. If you are always fighting and he is always drinking the it will not work out. Marriage is based trust, love and understanding. If you are having second thoughts it is better to call things off. Do not worry about the money you can always make money. You need to follow your heart.

Answer 4

Neither of you is ready for a serious commitment. If you are haging out with other guys and he's searching for company on dating sites... then why are you together anyway?

You both are loooking for love and attention elsewhere, my advise is to stop the charade and end it so you both can move on already.

Good luck

Answer 5

I think ya'll need to postpone the wedding, or maybe take a break.  If you're having feelings for another guy, that is giving you your answer if you don't feel wrong about hanging with another guy.  How would you feel if you were to find out that he's hanging with another girl?  Do a pros and cons list.  But honestly, I think you've answered your own question.

Answer 6

If you are having problems now, and both of you aren't willing to work very hard on solving them, it will only get worse.

I would say yes, leave him.

HUGS

Answer 7

His behavior is not right, but neither is yours.  He is looking for fun online, and you are finding it in person with this other guy.   I think he has as much reason to leave you as you do him.   Neither of you is ready for marriage.  

Why not agree to break up this game you are both playing.  It's not fair to either of you.  You both need to grow up some more before you even think of getting married to anyone.

Answer 8

YOU are the problem!! you just said u have been hanging around some other guy, ofcourse he would get jealous!  

Answer 9

Personally, I don't think that I would stay. The drinking, jealous and online dating are too many warning signs. Don't ignore those signs. If you do you will find yourself stuck in a relationship that will be even harder to get out of once you are married.

The drinking and taking off are a recipe for disaster in my personal experience. Find someone reliable and faithful...

Answer 10

Sounds to me like you don't want to be with him anymore.  You didn't say a single positive thing about the guy.  

Your only justification for keeping him around is that you've been together for a while.  That is SO not a good enough reason to keep the relationship alive.  Kick him to the curb.

Answer 11

You shouldnt marry him if you are having all these problems.

Answer 12

first of all sorry to hear that...I know it feels, however try to postpone or not to plan a wedding (since you are engaged now). try to talk to him when you guys are calm and let him know how you think things will get better. on the other hand, you are seeing someone else and its not fair for neither of them...

please communicate your feelings, you will feel better

Answer 13

ok  you have been together for 3 years right ????????? that means that you know him well , here is the question  for you dear do you really know the other guy well or he is just playing games with you think about it and drinking is not a shim thing may be he needs your help but he never say it   or there is something wrong is going on her because he is jealous and that's why he act this way opening dating sites and saying i am looking for a discreet relationship to find new friend that means that you don't give him enough care that he really need don't be a child acting this way i am telling you if you broke up with boyfriend and he was good guy you will never forgive yourself that you break his heart because you just got bored                     for some reason that means that you can't solve this problem and you choose to skip looking for another relationship and you think that it might work but it will not because you will do the same thing any way don't hate me but i  just want you to understand guys games cause i don't want you to get hurt think about it i want you to know one thing it's your life live your life the way that you want it to be just be careful of guys games   Good Luck  HUGS :)

Answer 14

for fiancee seems like a controlling little low key player......i say you break it off because if you're feeling something for someone else than that aloe should be a red flag but to top it off you have plenty others, his drinking,,,,online issues and he's controlling,,it might not feel to be true but you will be way better off without him, good luck

Answer 15

Leave him. Even if he says he didn't cheat on you, just the fact that he goes to an online dating site makes him capable of cheating. The jealousy thing isn't going to get better either. If your heart isn't in the relationship, then get out.

Answer 16

If you aren't happy now, will you be happy after you are married?  Don't think of divorce the minute you are married or before you're married.  Stand up for yourself and move on.  We all want to find the perfect partner, maybe he's just not your perfect someone.  Best of luck.

Answer 17

You are not ready to get married. Break this off, and move on.

Answer 18

Personally if i was you i would get out of the relationship now before someone gets really hurt b/c of cheating. It sounds like in the long run cheating would end your marriage anyway... if your even having doubts because of everything you wrote then it's cuz your not in a great realtionship.... my advice... move on....... good luck !

Answer 19

try to make is work. and if it dont. go for the other guy!!

but im young ssoo...

Answer 20

So if there are only bad things to say, and things are like that now, how do you think it will be when you get married? not better, so if you aren't happy now and think you can have feelings for someone else, leave him. Don't stay together because you have been together for so long. Weigh you options!!!

Answer 21

I only had to read a few sentences before I concluded that YES, YOU SHOULD LEAVE HIM!!  Find a close friend, confide in them and they will help you get through it as it will be too hard to go alone on this, you will be too tempted to turn back to him.  I don't think there is hope for this guy, he has too much growing up and experimenting left to do before he can settle down with anyone.  It will be so hard but this marriage would never last and if it did, you would be miserable.  If you don't know how much he loves you, that means there is no way he loves you enough, it would show if he did and you would definitely know.  

Answer 22

If he's looking at on line dating sites, he's just not that into you anymore, whatever the reason. Moving on with your dignity intact would be the best thing you could do for yourself.  

Answer 23

I agree with posts above me, You don't want to be with him, your just telling yourself that you should try to work it out because your engaged and have been together for 3 years. But it sounds like if you were to stay with him that your going to end up unhappy and possibly miserable. He could even cheat on you because he has shown signs of looking for another relationship.

Your doing it at the right time though, its a lot more work if you are already married and then have to go through a divorce. Maybe if you don't want to exactly leave him you could take a break.? But that usually winds up with someone from the relationship leaving anyways. So I would get out while the gettings good now.

Good luck.