Should I leave my home and my family or stay and risk losing him?

Question

Thank you so much for the comments you guys but I would just like to clear up a few things. I very much appreciate the questions you raised TERRI J but I just want to let you know I have thought about all of those situations. And I am thinking about what I want thats why I'm actually considering to not go live with him. Believe it or not I'm not this giggley little girl who waits on her boyfriend and who kisses his toes. I'm actually a real pain and just like everyone else; a little bit selfish. And trust me I know relationships at my age don't tend to last. But who knows, him and I might actually make it you know what I mean? I really hope TERRI J that you don't think I'm critisizing you, b/c that is not my intention at all. Your advice was very indepth and very much appreciated. Thank you.

Answer 1

When I was your age, i too fell completely in love with this guy.  And couldn't wait until we could be together.  In those days, the only way that would be acceptable was if we married.  So we did.  Here we were, both 18 trying to figure out how the heck are we going to make the rent payments, the electric bills etc. . . we were now living the adult real life versus the fantasy life of what we envisioned our lives would be together.  

We struggled and managed some how for many years but eventually we both realized that we just couldn't continue.  We both realized that what we did, was fall in love with the idea of love and fantasy of love and the future.  

Many years of my youth gone.  Many years of personal growth gone.   I was still a child (even though I thought I was all grown up) trying to make grown up decision.  Without much success I might add.

Maybe you should take it slower, go to the community college near you, let yourself and him grow up a little bit more.  Get your education and your career started.  Then if you two are still wanting to be together, then go for it.  if this is meant to be, waiting will not be a problem for either of you

Answer 2

Christin, I'd like to raise an issue that I'm sure you haven't considered, as you are so happy with your boyfriend right now. The truth is that, the majority of relationships formed at your age will eventually end. So, for the sake of argument, let's just say that, a year into college, you feel a real need to break up with your boyfriend. What happens?? Do you just stay with him, because breaking up with him will throw your life into turmoil? And, if you break up with him, are his parents going to want to continue to let you live with them. If not, as I would assume, where would you live? How would you take care of yourself? Would you have to go back home? If so, how many college credits would you lose? Would you lose scholarships?

So many questions. Seems to me like this is a big commitment to make to someone to whom you're not married. Please, do what is best for YOU, not what your boyfriend wants. Good luck to you.