Should I leave my husband? he constantly lies and I think he may be addicted to p**n.?

Question

My life is jacked up. I never expected my life to end up like this. I think, rather I know my husband is addicted to p**n. He ran our satellite cable bill up to a little over $300 and he lies about it every time...like they're not going to show up on the bill. After 13 years of marriage I'm fed up and I want to walk out. He said he didn't need it and would stop but every couple months he goes back. Any advice yahoo answers?

Answer 1

yeah you should leave him if he isnt satisfied by the real thing thats right there in front of him. and if he is going to be lying about it like that he must be a real peice of sh*t. make sure you leave when he is at work

Answer 2

Oh and like your perfect and have never lied about anything to him before.

Answer 3

Get rid of cable and get him a library card:)

Answer 4

a relationship is about two ppl he cant be totally to blame, is the p**n new was he doing it 13 years ago if not are u not doing something for him? being addicted to p**n is less dangerous than heroin or gambling

Answer 5

Valerie x makes a very good point. I would not walk but run away. There is nothing wrong with p**n..it's the deception when confronted and dishonesty to you. I don't care who makes the money..respect makes the marriage.

Answer 6

I went through the same thing w/my husband w/the cable service.  I just canceled everything.  I put codes and locks on all the adult channels.  I don't condone divorce.  I've been married 13 yrs too and I've been through h**l and back w/this man and I'm really glad I stayed because things are great now.  I followed the advice of my mom and this was it.  "If you see change even if it's small change, stick by him, If you don't see change leave him because he's not going to".  The other thing she said that is sooooo true. "Don't threaten if your not going to do" **** or get off the pot.  Not very analytical but soooooooo true.

Answer 7

You need to talk to him and really mean business.  Tell him he either gets help with his addiction or you are out of his life.  He needs to seek help with his problem and you need to go with him as well.  If he isn't budging on going then separate from one another.   If he wants you back tell him to get help.  If he still is not seeking help then file for divorce.  You deserve to be happy.

Answer 8

p**n is an addiction.  Addiction means you can't stop just because you say you want to stop.

If the two of you love each other, the only alternative is counseling.  

Only you can decide when you have had enough.

Answer 9

You are not entitled to divorce your husband except for marital unfaithfulness.

p**n is marital unfaithfulness but strictly speaking whenever a man has looked at another woman in lust he has committed adultry.

I think p**n is a problem you both can overcome and you shouldnt harden you heart. Forgiveness and patience is crucial here.

The decision has to be made by him to stop looking at p**n. For the computer there is a software called Covenant Eyes. As far as cable goes you should enable blockers with a password only you know. If he disagrees then he is unwilling to change his habits (but it sounds like he is wanting to but is caught in evil persuassion when he falls into old temptation).

Whenever you watch p**n you are defiling yourself with the women you are watching and commiting adultry with prostitutes.

Tell him whenever he feels the need for p**n he should call you or snuggle in bed with you. Also, he should get an accountability partner (not a friend who will cover for him) but somebody like a pastor.

Don't hurt his pride and encourage him that you want to work it out and when you see his progress let him know how proud of him you are.

Hope this helps.  

Answer 10

dam sounds like u got a losser u shouldnt be sad at all leave his *** asap and find a real man..... or if not make a lil p**n of your own namean

Answer 11

It sounds as though you have already made up your mind and your just needing reinforcement to make the move.  I agree with you, your husband does have an addiction, is that enough of a reason to give up.  Has he tried counseling?  I use to also have several addictions including p**n, but I decided to change my ways, so I got counseling and it helps, but I still have to work at it daily.  So you can leave and hopefully your life will get better, or you can make your husband get counseling and maybe do you both a good deed and go back to a happy marriage.  Good luck.

Answer 12

whats your problem with the p**n, as long as he pays the bill

Answer 13

Are you kidding?  These losers on Yahoo will all tell you p**n is "Normal & Healthy" so you have to consider the source of the answers you get.

13 years of marriage?  And this azzclown repays you with disgusting porno charges on the cable bill?  s***w THAT!

Personally, if I were you, I'd stop performing ALL wifely duties, including housekeeping.

If he can't be a REAL husband, why should you be a REAL wife.

Good luck to you!

Answer 14

I hate ultimatums but I think it's time for one. Tell him that the next time he does it, you are leaving.....and do what you say! It doesn't have to be permanent....but he needs a wake up call. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 15

You are not alone. The acceptance of pornography in marriage is so common and yet it is like a cancer to marriage. The symptoms manifest themselves in ways we may not even recognize as rooted from the pornography. And it is a very real addiction. People says 'oh its okay, it's better than cheating' but what they dont see is it IS cheating...with your mind, your thought life. Anyway, I would get professional help. Tell him if he wants to stay married to you, he will go to counseling. Plain and simple. Say 'Do you want to be married to me' If he says yes then tell him he must seek help. Maybe separate counseling at first them come together for counseling.  Do you have children? Could you leave for a bit? Tell him you are leaving because his behavior, especially the lies, is unacceptable. Sometimes people need an eye opener. Something to tell them you are DEAD serious about this. You must have boundaries. Things that are acceptable in your marriage and things that are not.  Good luck and stick to what you know is right.      

Answer 16

Internet p**n is free. At least you can save the 300.00 a month.  You can`t stop him. He is who he is. Buy him a few x*x mags and look at them with him. He needs to express his inner most thoughts with you, that is good way to find out what he`s thinking.  Eventually the p**n addiction will calm down. He will eventually get his fill, and hopefully stay at home with you instead of going out to fill those fantasies.

Answer 17

It sounds like your husband has a problem.  He needs to seek counseling for it.  If he doesn't, you should leave him.

Answer 18

If it's an addiction, there's no such thing as just cutting back. He either admits he addicted and does something about it because he wants to quit badly enough, or you work out what you have to do if he won't. By do something about it, I mean get into whatever kind of program is likely to work.

You know, people got along just great before there was cable, satellite, and the Internet. You can, too.  

Answer 19

He really needs to start buying some p**n on DVD,lol, that way he doesn't have to pay-per-view. I personally think p**n is fun to watch as long as it's not to out there, and if you watch it together it can be s**y.

I think that people that like p**n just like s*x in general, and the ones that don't either isn't gettin any or have some self esteem issues. It's a chic on tape that he'll never meet and he just wants to watch so it's easier to beat his meat.

Try and control him and you'll end up loosing your husband. Pick your battles and stop nit picking. If him watching p**n isn't effecting his other duties as a man and husband then what exactly is the problem? Cause you don't like it? That's not really fair is it.