Should I leave my husband? ?

Question

We have been married for 22 years, I have worked hard on this marriage. I've been physically and emotionally abused, I have to walk on eggshells. The step-grandkids get on his nerves, I have to ask permission before they spend the night. He has also cheated on me with my niece. but every time I tell him that I want to separate he tells me that i'm not working with him to make this marriage work. He always makes me feel guilty. I'm tired of working on it. Please let me know what I should do. If I leave I will have to get government help, I'm a full time student ( at 42) and only working part time. I really want this education,It will give me so many opportunities

Answer 1

Can you stick it out until you get your schooling done?  I would try, then leave him.  If you can't wait...then leave now.  

He cheated on you, abusive, you are walking on eggshells, he turns things around on you, as if you are responsible.  That is no way to live.

Has he always been that way, or only since you have gone to school?

Being on gov't help will be better than living with him.

Answer 2

sweetie you have to do what you have to do for yourself to be okay. leave. so what if you have to get assistance..go after spousal support too. continuing your education is great and i applaud you for not giving up on that, but the one thing that it is time for you to give up is your marraige. he's a prick. don't disrespect and demean yourself for anyone , especially a man that doesn't love you. any kind of abuse is not acceptable and you are worth more than that. love yourself.

Answer 3

Sounds awful...either stay until you finish the education or leave now if you can get help from the government...DEF!! finish the education though...

Answer 4

LEAVE!

Answer 5

Say bye-bye and don't look back. This creep isn't worth your time. Anyone who cheats with your neice is a creep. At  42 you still have a long life ahead of you, is this the way you really want to spend it? I don't understand why you are still working on this relationship, it's so obviously time to leave!! Leave with your dignity and pride and leave soon. Don't wait, you're still young and can find someone who will treat you with the respect you DO deserve. If you have to get government help, then do it. At least you won't be under this man (I use the term loosly). Any real man wouldn't treat you this way! Dont you think it's time? I think you do, you just need it confirmed... consider this confirmed.

Answer 6

Married life is a bliss and marriage relationship is cherished………………..

But……………..

If you are reading this blog then maybe, just maybe there is some rift in your marriage,

some unpleasantness, some souring of your relationship, may be communication is not that effective any more,

maybe there is some resentment.

Well………. Are u living like just roommates?????

I just hope I can give you some advice on a successful relationship.

Please stop, think, no matter how tough it is “ask yourself”.

· Is this the marriage I dreamt of?

· Is this what is want out of life?

· Is there anything I can do to save my marriage?

Please take action now, even if you are the only one wanting to do so, wanting to keep your marriage. The first thing you must do is accept the situation as a given. Acknowledge your spouse's unhappiness. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with your mate’s reasons. Nor does it necessarily mean accepting your partner at her word if she says that she’s leaving.

It does mean that you need to accept the fact that your spouse is unhappy and has been unhappy for some time.

Maybe it has gotten to the point where you are past the constant fighting and all your relationship consists of now is the occasional nod to each other. Like living with a roommate. Is there any marriage to save?

Take action before you become just another statistic of divorce.

Remember there is still hope, remember God loves you and He wants you to Love.

See how one positive step by you begets another.

Just make an effort, a commitment a promise to yourself and follow this advice.

· Show that you CARE, show that you are concerned.

· LISTEN willing fully.

· Focus on REPAIR; see where you can fix the problem.

· When in DOUBT, seek help.

· Also, have FAITH; believe me this will be on great help.

Answer 7

If I were you,I would run as far as possible! Yes,you should do anything you can to keep your marriage together,but it sounds to me like you have,and all alone at that.Get the government help,that is what it is there for,just think about what is best for you for a change..Good luck,it will be hard,but VERY worth it!

Answer 8

This is a hard question to answer, especially when it sounds like you've already made up your mind to leave and are looking for people to agree with you.

It would be best to talk to someone who can assist you in thinking all your fears and doubts through to see what your best option(s) would be.  I would suggest a therapist or a counsellor.  There are various non-profit clinics that offer little to no cost (most cost is $25.00!!!) to help you.

I think part of the guilt that he plays on, and you allow to enter into your mind, is that you haven't been able to put your thoughts in order to make an educated decision.

Answer 9

yes LEAVE, take government help while you finish your education...get out of that, you've taken it long enough......get yourself a good lawyer and a counselor...you can do it, you deserve better!

Answer 10

i would put your education first. how much longer do you have? once you are able to secure your own financial future i would take the plunge. sounds like a piece of **** and you always put yourself first.