Should I leave them alone?

Question

I have a 12 year old (Ben) that has taken a babysitting course and is CPR certified. I want to leave him alone for a couple of hours (3:30-7:30) with his brothers ages 8 (Ethan) and 5 (Ryan).

As a trial I am sitting here watching him be in charge (they are supposed to pretend I am not here). So far I have watched Ben and Ethan play video games and pretty much ignore Ryan. Ryan has walked out the back door and I don't think Ben even noticed he left. They have argued alot.

I really need to go tonight but I don't feel confortable leaving them here and they can't come with me. What would you do? Pay a babysitter or trust Ben?

P.S. Even if I put up the video game Ben and Ethan tend to play together and exclude Ryan.

Answer 1

I think you answered your own question. You don't feel comfortable. Is that going to change by tonight? No.

Ben may be old enough to baby sit other kids, just not his brothers. His brothers are just there as always and he can manange to ignore them as thats what boys do at that age.

If nothing else, get a sitter for Ryan and let Ben and Ethan be the test case. Trust me, you'll feel much better.  

Answer 2

I'm 16 but I DO remember being 12. Even though I thought I was pretty "grown up" at the time, looking back, I know that I wasn't. Ben may be certified to babysit, but may not be mature enough to handle certain situations. Each child IS different in their maturity, but to be on the SAFE side, I'd say your best decision would be to hire a baby-sitter. Remember, better safe than sorry!!

Answer 3

Can you find someone to just take Ryan for a few hours?  A neighbor?  I don't think I'd leave them alone for that long especially for the 1st time.  

What Ben needs besides just a babysitting course is to know the expectations of a baby sitter.  It is not merely presence in a home, it is interaction.  He is responsible for his brothers and he is to act like a sitter, not a brother.  He may still be too young to be that responsible.  

Answer 4

I think you've answered your own question when you said you don't feel comfortable leaving them alone.  Trust your instincts. You know your son better than anyone else.  12 may be a little young for a boy to babysit, but a few may be mature enough at that age.  

Paying a babysitter is worth it if it gives you peace of mind.  

Using older siblings as sitters for the younger ones can work if the older ones are responsible and mature enough.  I found that paying mine a little bit for their time helped them take the job more seriously.  But it can also be a difficult position for the older child;  the younger ones are less likely to listen or accept the authority of a sibling than that of a non-relative or adult.