Should I let him have her back?

Question

I have custody of my sisters daughter. My sister is not involved in my neice's life. My neice's dad visits her often and she goes to his house for visits. He now has his own place with a bedroom for her. He wants to take custody back of her. I think she is well adjusted in my home. I don't have any kids so all of my attention goes to her. I am basically a SAHM but I do babysit and take her with me. His wife told me if this goes to trial they will win because he is the dad and can provide for her. What should I do? He is a good dad but I want her to stay with me.

Answer 1

Sadly it is true that the true parents will usually get custody of the child. Depending on the childs age she might be old enough to choose where she wants to live but even then its a slim chance if the parent wants them.

Answer 2

That is so difficult for you. The right thing for the child would be to stay with her dad as long as it is a stable home and from what you said it sounds like it is. Also i think that what his wife said is true about what will happen when it goes to trial.

Answer 3

you should do what's best for your niece. if she is old enough to speak her mind, ask her what she wants. he is in fact her father, and it is important for her mental development to have a normal relationship with him. while you have played the role of mother to her, it may be in your niece's best interest to live with her real father.

Answer 4

If he is a good father and can properly take care of his daughter the yes you should give her back. It is really selfish to keep a child away from a parent if that parent does not abuse or neglect their child. If you love her as much as I think you do, you would think of her first because in the long run she will resent you for keeping her from her father, where she belongs. Maybe you two could come to some kind of agreement so that she still spends quality time with you. His wife is right about the trial, he would probably win.

Answer 5

If you're confident he's a good father and will do right by his daughter then you have to let go. It's about the child after all, not you.  

Answer 6

She should be with her father. While attention is important and she gets lots of it from you... if the attention from her dad is less ... it is still attention from her father.

If she is not with her dad she can be scarred for life thinking that her dad does not want her or worse... that her dad is not good enough for her to be with because she has been with her aunt...this is her parent.

It seems like you've become too attached and are now motivated by selfish motives.