Should I let my brother wear his Military Uniform in my wedding?

Question

My brother has it in his head that he HAS to wear his military uniform in my wedding because it is a public event. He is still in high school but is getting some of his basic training completed this summer. Do you HAVE to wear your military uniform in weddings? I was told my several military people that you dont but he is not giving up. What should I do and how should I deal with this? I want my brother in my wedding but I want to be the one that stands out since im the groom...not him! I understand that he is proud of his army background....im proud of him myself but I should be allowed to have my wedding the way I want it! Dont you think? Help me out guys!

Answer 1

Your wedding is not a public event. Not everyone who wants to gets to come. Just those that were invited, making it a private affair. Therefore, your brother's reason for wanting to wear his uniform is null and void. I think he is wanting to stand out and get some of the attention. Maybe he's always felt a little overshadowed by you? Just explain to him, that while you are proud that he is in the service, this is a private occasion that he should feel honored to be a part of and you want to be the shining star on that day. Oh, and from a woman's viewpoint, your bride should be the one standing out anyway. It's her day. Hope this helps you. Congrats and good luck.  

Answer 2

It's not a technicality, but I don't see why it's an issue. Coming rom a military family I have asked my uncles to specifically wear their dress blues for our wedding. It's considered an honour to have him wear his dress uniform at your wedding.

It's up to you, but come on....without those men and women you wouldn't be here to get married in the first place.

You're the groom, no one is going to upstage you by wearing a uniform.  

Answer 3

let him wear it.  maybe he's proud of his country, not like those who fled to Canada during Viet Nam.  U'll still b the "center" of attention!!!!!!!

Answer 4

Your brother is proud and excited about his military connection, be supportive of him and every other american citizen who wears the military dress and let him wear it in your wedding.  People are not going to be confused about who is the groom!

Answer 5

personally i think that he is trying to take the attention from you.  and he could only wear the uniform if he were the groom.  and hes not even in the military yet so he can't wear the uniform.  if i was you i would stand up to him and say that its not his day and you can't wear the uniform.  good luck and congrats

Answer 6

Considering he is NOT an active duty soldier, he does not get to wear his military uniform. In fact, it would be a bit of an insult to members of the military to wear a uniform when your military training is not finished.

Answer 7

It's not a legal requirement, but it is traditional to wear your uniform at all official or formal occassions.  He represents his unit at all times, and the uniform is a reflection of that.  He is showing respect to you by presenting himself in his most dignified persona.

Don't worry, he won't "steal the show" just because his outfit isn't a carbon copy of the other groomsmen.  I'm sure all your bridesmaid aren't twins, either, even if they wear the same dress.  Everyone looks at the bride, not at anyone else.  

If you want to stand out as the groom, then simply wear a different style suit/tux than the other guys.  Get creative - wear a tux instead of a suit, wear white or grey instead of black, wear a shirt that matches the color of the bridesmaid dresses, wear a cool fedora hat.  

Answer 8

No, you do not have to wear your military uniform and in fact, it may not even be appropriate in his case as he is not actually a member of the military.

My Uncle was a Staff Sargent (and I probably spelled it wrong) and I only recall him wearing his uniform to one wedding (it was his own). Otherwise, he just wore a suit.

Answer 9

my husband is a sargeant with the us army. he didn't recieve his uniform until completion of basic training...

now, with that being said, it is NOT MILITARY CODE (i have the code book beside me cause i wanted to know this too after reading your question) to wear your military uniform in a public setting like a wedding. ...  it is NOT an obligation to wear your uniform for anything other than a MILITARY EVENT.  there is procedure on how you should waer it if you decide to wear it to a formal or semi-formal event. there is NOTHING in the RULES saying he HAS to wear the uniform.

my husband has never put on his Class A's since basic training... really. since he's just a groomsmen, there is no obligation to the military that he has to waer it. (acutlaly, if you think about it, that's quite stupid. why would the army make him wear his uniform to a formal event?)

now, there IS protocol on wearing it to a military wedding. military weddings have different rules and regulations when it comes to uniform... but since you are not military- there is NO OBLIGATION that he has to wear that uniform.

since he's in high school- and just going into basic- he's probably going towards getting attention... i see this ALL the time being a military wife- the kids in rotc in high school are soooo dramatic when it comes the military- speaking from experience around soldiers, none of them give a **** about the army when they're 4-5 years into it... unless they're really hardcore.

i would explain to him that since he hasn't completed basic training and has recieved it (nothing is saying he'll finish! things do happen!) then he should prepare to wear a tux. if he fights you on this, just explain nicely and politely that you want him to be a part of your special day and that you would appreciate it if he set aside his concerns and personal opinions to take part in a very meaningful day to both of you, and tho he may not want too, just say that your sorry he feels this way, but in order to achieve your vision of your wedding and to carry out a traditional wedding, that a tux will be needed for each groomsmen.

it is OFF MILITARY HOURS, OFF MILITARY POST, NOT in a formal setting with "tops" ( fancy word for higher ranking officers), and NOT a military wedding... there are NO requirements for him wearing it. period.

Answer 10

It is not a requirement that you wear your military uniform to all public events. However, I think having him in his military uniform would look VERY classy (depending on what branch he's in. I'm not too crazy about the Navy formal outfits so when my cousin wore his to my graduation I thought he looked goofy, but thats just my personal opinion.) All of my family and cousins are in the military, so when my cousin got married his 2 brothers wore their Marine and Army uniforms, and I asked my Marine cousin to wear his dress blues to my wedding (since my huz is leaving for boot camp soon).

If you are a stickler for him not wearing his uniform, then just tell him not to. It is true that he will sick out a bit more.

Tell him that you just flat out do not want him in his army uniform and if he says something like "i have to, its a public event" remind him that that is NOT a requirement and you would prefer if he dressed like the rest of the guests/wedding party. Since he is in High School can't your parents help with this?

And about him not being allowed to wear the uniform since he's not "in" the military...if you are "in" enough to be allowed to have a uniform, you are "in" enough to wear it to a wedding, as long as he obeys the rules and wears the full uniform, cleaned and ironed to standards and does not wear anything he has not earned, or anything that is not his rank, etc. If he truly weren't in the Army (or ROTC), he would not have a uniform in the first place.

Answer 11

You tell him he gets to wear his uniform at HIS wedding.

For your wedding, he has to wear what you want him to wear.  And then tell him you will return the favor (wearing what he wants you to wear) when he weds.

Answer 12

no way! its your wedding you decide, and if he doesn't like it tell him hes not in your wedding. I think he will change his tune when he hears you say that. Explain its your day not his.  

Answer 13

it's nice that he wants to wear his military uniform and show his pride, but he needs to realize this is your special day.  pull him aside and let him know just what you said - that this is your special day and that you don't want to be overshadowed by his uniform.  as a groom, you have every right to tell him your expectations.  and if he loves you as much as you love him, he wouldn't be so defiant against your wishes.  if he just won't give, maybe you can have him do something else other than being a groomsman - like emceeing or something.  good luck to you!

Answer 14

let him wear it. you can wear them to events like that. My friend was still in training and went to the wedding in his uniform. I know when I was in the ROTC it wasnt the same as going to BT but I loved wearing it out, because it is a sign of recognition.

Answer 15

its your wedding...do what YOU want.

sit down with your brother and let him know this is your day.  if he respects you he will understand.

and since he isnt technically in the military..it is not required

it is NOT a public event..only those who are invited get to come...if i or anyone else you didnt know came to your wedding im pretty positive you and your spouse will be upset..lol