Should I let my child complete two grade in one year after failing fourth grade?

Question

I AM A PARENT OF A RETAINED FOURTH GRADER WHO IS NOW ON HER WAY TO EIGHT GRADE AFTER SHE COMPLETES CLASS ON MAY 31ST 2008. AFTER REPEATING 4TH GRADE SHE SEEMED TO FALL MORE BEHIND. I DO BELIEVE SHE FELT LIKE A FAILURE. AND SHE BEGAN TO DEVELOP HABITS OF HIDING THINGS.

I INTERACTED WITH THE SCHOOLS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BUT JUST AS I WAS INFORMED ABOUT PAST EVENTS TO CORRECT THEM, THE RECENT EVENT WOULD GET MORE BEHIND. THIS HAD BECOME SUCH A PROBLEM. I POSITION MYSELF TO HOME SCHOOLING. I REALLY FEEL LIKE THAT MY CHILD FELT LIKE SHE WAS DUMB AND THIS WAS WHAT SHE HAD TO EXCEPT. THIS LEAD TO HER HAVING BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS AND BEING UNFOCUSED. AND NOW EACH AND EVERYDAY I HAVE TO WORK HARD ENCOURAGING AND PROVING THE HER THAT SHE IS GREAT AND CAN ACCOMPLISH EACH AND EVERY GOAL. SHOWING HER THAT SHE CAN MAKE GOOD GRADE. SO WITH THAT BEING SAID, I AM TRYING TO GET HER BETTER PREPARED FOR PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOLS AND COLLEGE BECAUSE SHE WANT TO BE ACTIVE IN SPORTS. BUT BEFORE WE DO THIS, SHE IS APPROACHING SUMMER, THOUGH SHE'S MORE CONFIDENT, SHE DOESN'T FEEL THAT SHE CAN COMPLETE TWO GRADE IN ONE YEAR TIME TO CATCH UP TO HER REGULAR GRADE. THOUGH I FEEL SHE CAN. I DON'T WANT TO PRESSURE HER. BUT I WAS THINKING THAT HER COMMENTS IS A BIT COMING FROM THE FEAR OF NOT WANTING TO FELL AGAIN OR MAYBE JUST OVERWHELMED BY TOO MUCH SCHOOL AND JUST WANTS A BREAK. BUT NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME. I DON'T WANT HER HIGH SCHOOL YEARS INTERRUPTED WHILE PERFECTING ACADEMICALLY AND PARTICIPATING SPORTS. SOMETIME I WANT TO PUSH HER, SO I CAN GET HER PREPARE BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I FEEL SHE FELLED FROM AND THE REASON SHE WAS ELECTED TO BE HELD BACK A GRADE BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT SHE WASN'T READY FOR THE PUSH THAT PUBLIC SCHOOL NOW GIVE WITH THE NEW NCLB ACT. BUT KNOWS SHE FEEL MORE SAFE WITH ME BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT I WILL BE RIGHT THERE SHOWING HER EVERY STEP OF HOW TO DO THE WORK. BUT SHE GETTING OLDER AND NEEDS BLIND STRATEGIES. MEANING SHE NEED TO HAVE AND UNPREDICTABLE COURSE TO PROVE THAT SHE CAN DO IT AGAIN. WITH GREAT STUDY HABITS SHE CAN SUCCEED IN A LOT. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Answer 1

For starters I don't know why some people seem to think that because they homeschool they have the right to be rude. I took my kids out of public school because of the rudeness and most people who homeschool say they want their child to have better manners and all that. Well I am not sure where some of these kids are supposed to learn manners when the parents are so rude and try to put themselves above others.

secondly anybody can homeschool.

If you do not have the education to homeschool have no fear you can learn just like your child.

Nobody is to dumb to homeschool

Public schools teach your children in one way, the way they choose to.

Kids learn in different ways, you have hands on, by listening, by seeing, etc.

My daughter passed 3rd grade(did I mention that she failed the only 2 main subjects that year)in public school

Isn't that reassuring?

I had to have them hold her back.

Come to find out she had no learning problems at all, she felt horrible and like a huge failure.

The school was making her stay in every day for recess.

This year she was on the A-B honor roll with a different teacher.

So if the school system is so smart why would they pass a child who never made more than a 40 on her papers?

If there is something you do not know rest assured there is help all over the internet, I am sure you have family and freinds as well.

There is help all around you. It sounds like your daughter just needs to realize that she is a smart, valuable girl that has alot to offer the world. I always tell mine that if we were all alike the world would be boring.

Each person has something that they bring to the table that is special because of the way they do it.

Start out with reassuring her that she is a bright child who can accomplish only what she chooses to.

When you get her self esteem back up you can push her harder.

I think once you start giving her work to do and she starts making great grades she will be fine with herself.

My son was smart enough to make a 100 on the 5th grade TAKS test and he was made to feel like he souldn't be proud of being a 'nerd'.

It's funny how the world judges without a second thought as to how they act themselves. Our world is going to be in some real trouble if people keep teaching their children that it is acceptable to be rude, to put people down because they are different, and that it's okay to not care about people as long as you  yourself have what you want no matter who you have to step on or steal from to get it.

Good luck and I hope your daughter gets everything straightened out. I wish you both the best.

Answer 2

What is the rush? If she needs more time to mature and understand the material, let her just continue on with a regular load. Staying back a grade does not mean what it used to. i know a lot of parents who hold their children back in elementary school just so they will be older and more mature in highschool...not to mention bigger and stronger athletes.

Answer 3

I'm guessing that English is not your first language.  Are you French, maybe Quebecoise?  Would you be teaching her in English or in your own language?  If you were planning to teach her in English, you maybe need a different strategy!  If you were planning on teaching her in whatever your language is, I wouldn't push her to achieve too much in one year.  Whether she finishes school at the same age as everyone else is not really important.  It's more important that she recapture a love of learning that she has probably lost.  

By the way, could you please turn off your CAPS.  It looks like you're shouting at everybody.

Answer 4

From what I've read, you're not qualified to home school her.

If she failed once why is she all of a sudden ready to take on twice as much work in school?

Answer 5

If it were me I would approach it this way, sit her down and say our goal is to work as hard as we can to get you ready for high school, if it takes one year or two years it doesn't matter. We need to do our best to get you into independent study. Then start by explaining the work once, and setting a timer then leave the room and let her do the work. Tell her to do her best and do what she can. When you come back check the work and explain what she got wrong make her correct it and move on to the next subject. After a while she will gain confidence and be read for self study. By doing this you and her both will know when it is time for her to reenter public school.