Should I let my daughter stay the night at her boyfriends?

Question

My daughter is 14, almost 15. Her boyfriend is almost 16.

She is not sexually active, and we have talked about it many times.

I trust my daughter very much, and the boy is very respectable.

His brother and sister will be there along with his mom. They will be in different rooms and everything. I do trust her. But a lot of my friends think it's a terrible idea. What are your thoughts, given the circumstances.

Answer 1

Yeah right- as they sneak into each others rooms in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep. I am sorry, but I would not trust a 16 year old boy as far as I can throw him. NO NO NO!! Are you kidding. I can't believe you are even asking this. My Mother had too much trust in this guy that she allowed in our house when I was 15 and he was older and he snuck in my room and forced himself onto me even though I cried and said no. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't mature enough even at the age of 16 to say anything. I never told my parents until after I had my Daughter.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!

Once she is 18 then she can do what she wants and reap whatever comes of it.  

Answer 2

I think its a bad idea, why put your daughter in that situation? She may be a good girl now but she might also be curious and give into temptation. I am sorry to break it to you but there is no guarantee that your daughter is not sexually active.

Answer 3

Did they move to another state? If they are local I would not quite understand the need to have a sleepover.

If it is a long distance thing I get why the kids are asking, but it is still quite young for an overnight chaperoned by his Mom or not. Teens can sneak out of bedrooms. While teaching h.s. and chaperoning overnight trips we chaperone's took shifts and patrolled the inside and outside of cabins all night it is necessary and exhausting for hormones are there. With your hesitation and your friends input of No. I am thinking all are not certain this lone Mom is up for burning that midnight /all night oil.

Ultimatly it is your call Mom, but I sense you do not feel it is your instinct to do so-trust it. You need that reassurance from others for you know it will cause a bit of friction with daughter. Show her our posts.

Sorry dear daughter Mom-loves you alot. Good Mom. It is not that she doesn't like your bf, but it is not right for your age now. I have been in the classroom and am telling your Mom not at this age. Not now.

Stick to the non-overnight dates.

Good luck Mom  

  

Answer 4

I do not think it is appropriate situation for a 14yo girl. Although nothing has happened sexually you don't want to put her in a situation she isn't mature enough to handle.

I personally raise my kids with very strict family morals and values and that's a huge no no not to mention my husband who have a fit.

Answer 5

bad idea. plain and simple. at those ages, hormones are raging. who cares if they're staying in seperate rooms? what happens when his parents go to bed? sounds fishy

Answer 6

s*x is s*x. They may not intend to, but s*x is stronger than anyones will to resist it. I don't think it is terrible, but the temptation is terrific.

If it were my daughter, no matter how much I trusted her, I would say no, and explain to her, why.

Why put the temptation in front of them?

Answer 7

Oh, of course it's OK... Grandma.

Do you really think they're not going to try to do anything if she spends the night?  If so, I have a bridge in NY that I'll sell you for a good price.

In short, no it's not OK.

Answer 8

thats not ok!

she ll keep on doing and eventually have s*x!

you are not in her head so there is a chance she doesnt tell u everything!

tell her she can do that when shes 18!  

Answer 9

It is inappropriate for your daughter to be in a situation where things could get out of hand, do not put her in a position like that.

Tell her that she can have girl-only sleep overs at your house, but no boy-present sleep overs until she is married!

Answer 10

I wonder....why is it so difficult to use COMMON SENSE?

I say if you would like to be a grandma, then sure.

Answer 11

You REALLY have to ASK this?

Your daughter has hit puberty and so has her boyfriend.

They are BOTH  raging bags of hormones and so horny for each other they cannot see straight and you think it is a "GOOD" idea for her to sleep at his house ........because?

3 and 4 yr old's do not get horny for each other.Boys that age do not particularly like girls and girls that age do not like boys that well either.

If you REALLY think that them sleeping in the same house is harmless,then why did you mention he was her boyfriend?

They are b/f and g/f because they have SEXUAL interest in one another.If you STILL think this is a good idea, you need some serious counceling grandma.

Answer 12

i wouldnt no lol

its quite bad

but if you want to be called grandma then let her go

x

Answer 13

Ahhh, no!? Why would you even consider that?

Answer 14

Are you kidding me?  No she shouldn't.  It isn't appropriate.  She is 14.

Answer 15

Not appropriate.

Answer 16

no too tempting. I'm sure you're young, you don't want to be a grandma too soon!

Answer 17

It's a really bad idea.  I was 14 a few years ago. and no matter how much you trust your daughter and her boyfriend.  hormones do happen and what's to stop them from sneaking into each other's rooms?  Even if you do trust your daughter alot.  It really isn't a bright idea. I'm 17 now and I was a very respectable girl with a very respectable boyfriend but hormones do take over.  It wouldn't be appropriate until she's out of your house.  Not a good idea.

Answer 18

Absolutely not! Coed sleepovers are not appropriate.

Answer 19

I think you're very naive if you believe they will be in different rooms and they're not sexually active.  You better make sure she is on some form of birth control.

Answer 20

The only way your daughter can prepare to be more mature and prepare for the bitter world out there, she needs to experience maturity at this age. Letting her sleep over of course is prepearing her for the future, etc. I highly doubt they want to sleep over JUST to have s*x and make babies, sure they might make out with not alot of clothing on, but that wont cause pregnancy and no harm. I can assure you this is a harmless sleepover and if your still cautious then make her bring a condom with " just in case " they cant fight the urge, which of course they wouldnt go that far risking being caught and then never seeing one another again.

Answer 21

I don't think it's a good idea, maybe a sleep over at YOUR house so YOU KNOW what's going on.

Answer 22

my parents let me stay over my sons fathers house when i was 16....and we just had our baby 4 weeks ago....im only 19 now.

if you wanna possibly be called grandma while your daughter is still in her teens...go for it.

Answer 23

She may say that she is not sexually active, but can you really be sure of that? I told my parents I was not when I was and spent the night at my boyfriends house and had s*x with him. Just because they are sleeping in separate rooms does not mean they will stay in separate rooms so it is your call.

Answer 24

my friend had a guy sleep over at her house once and during the middle of the night he fingered her, so ya......take it from there.

Answer 25

I think you're just putting your daughter in a situation that could tempt things to happen.  Yes, they're 'good' kids, buy why test it? If they're just sleeping and sleeping in separate rooms, then why does she even need to spend the night?

Edited for your additional details: Sounds like you've already made up your mind.  Regardless of their history together, or how respectable they both are, you're still putting two teenagers in the same house at night.  There will be opportunity even if you think there won't be.  Once you let them, then you might feel obligated to continue to let them sleepover.  Don't let anyone pressure you into thinking it's cool.

Answer 26

NO NO NO

Answer 27

Yeah my friend did that and about 9 months later......

Good thing her parents new she wasn't sexually active ,or so they thought

Answer 28

Bad idea. Boys that age have one thing on there mind.

Answer 29

Well personally I wouldn't let my daughter sleep at her boyfriends at that age.  I have a daughter and she's only 8 months old so I have plenty of years ahead of me but this is one thing I will always stand my ground on.  They're too young and plus at that age all the boy does is think about s*x.  You might trust your daughter and he might seem respectable but anything can happen.

Answer 30

I don't think it's a good idea.  If you do decide to let her though will the other parents be there and supervising?

Answer 31

*smacks forehead* DUH!

Unless you want to become a grandparent, then NO you don't let your FOURTEEN year old daughter sleep at her boyfriend's house.