Should I let my daughter switch teachers based on the fact that her teacher is mean?

Question

My 9 year old daughter started 4th grade almost 2 weeks ago. She hates her teacher. Her teacher is mean yes, but she is by far the best teacher in that grade level. She gives hefty homework assignments, my daughter normally has about 2-3 hours of home work every other day and then 1 hour of homework a night. I think that despight the length this is great and will help teach her responsibility and prepare her for middle school and beyond . But my daughter is miserable she has come home in tears almost everyday after school saying her teacher was mean. One example was her teacher made her stay in during recess because the wordsearch my daughter created for homework was done in 2 different pencils and you could see all the answers (the kids were soposed to solve each others) so it had to be redone. Her teacher did not tell her to use the same pencil. Her teacher is heavy with punishment but the class is in controll (she had a TERRIBLE class last year). But despight my daughters misery her skills have jumped tremendously because this teacher will not let the kids out to recess if they have an F on a paper and they can not go outside till they redo the paper with a 75% or better. This is very tough for children at this age, but I think my daughter can excell with her. But I don't want my daughter to be miserable and I am not sure if I necessarily agree with switching out just because the teacher is mean. I have called some of the other parents and basicaly all the kids think she is mean so at least she isn't singaling out my daughter. I am thinking about setting up a confrence with her teacher. What would you do as a parent. Please Help?

Answer 1

giving alot of homework doesn't make her a good teacher,,

and she should be having fun.

if she is being loaded with homework and if having a horrible time she should be switched out

Answer 2

Ok, the 2-3 hours of homework every other night is completely ridiculous. regardless of  how well this will prepare your daughter for the future, this teacher just sounds straight up mean.  You don't have to learn all of your responsibility skills in the 4th grade, nor should you have to.  She still has 8 more years of school to learn responsibility for adulthood.  If i was you I'd have her switched out.  She'll still learn what she needs to learn and she won't be so miserable.

Answer 3

No.

The toughest and meanest teachers are by FAR the greatest.

Answer 4

I do not think you should take your daughter out of the class, however, since you have already spoken to other parents in the class who agree that this teacher is "mean" you should get together as a group and compose a letter airing your grievances about how extreme she is with a CC to the principal and ask her to dial it down some.  Frame it such that you appreciate how much she strives to push her students to excel, however, for 9 year olds it is a bit too much and the level she is pushing is more appropriate for High School students.  Explain to her that you (all) feel that how much she is pushing her students to excel is actually breaking their spirits and they are loosing their love of learning.  You (all) as parents would like to work with her to find an appropriate balance so that everyone wins.

I would like to reiterate that this should be done as a group of parents not just one parent and should not be done aggressively so as to make her defensive but assertive to get her to understand and correct her actions.

Answer 5

She's going to have to learn to handle all kinds of authority figures. I know I learned more from my hard professors than my easy ones, and it's never too early to learn that sometimes, school/ work is tough! It's only been two weeks, your daughter will get used to it. Humans have an amazing capacity for mental toughness, even at that age. Don't cheat her out of a chance to develop it.

Answer 6

My 9th grade English teacher was extremely mean. If you did her assignments exactly how she asked you would get a C. If your speeches were more then 5 seconds to short or to long then you redid them. When we had group projects one group would get an A one a B one a C and every other group got a D if they were lucky. You were expected to be above and beyond all expectations and I hated her. I would stress over my homework so bad that I had to quite the after school job I had and thought I would never enjoy anything English related again. I wasn't satisfied with anything less then an A and the B- that I was steadily pulling in her class had me ready to give up. Other students were switching out or giving up. My parents would not let me switch classes and started pushing me even harder to work for the grade that I wanted. 10th grade English I set a new school record on the district writing assessment and was offered my scholarship to study English at the local University. I scored a 34 out of 36 on the English section of my ACT and have never gotten anything short of an A on a paper since I was in her class. I have been complimented by professors and employers on my public speaking and writing abilities. I know that no matter how miserable I was then, it is well worth it now. I'm sure your daughter will have a similar experience.

Answer 7

Keep your daughter in that class. It will help her understand the amount of homework in the years to come. the teacher will help her understand to be responsible. i would set up a conference, and ask the teacher why your daughter had to stay in during recess, since the teacher did not say what type of pencils to use.

Please don't cave in.

Answer 8

I have had this same problem. When growing up my mom would move me and when I got in college I would quit a class if I thought it was too hard so I don't think moving is the answer. I do think however that she has way to many expectations for 4th graders. I do not believe in homework other than to involve parents in what they are learning, they work so hard all day and they need the family time at night and many have sports (I teach 6th grade). I would go to the principal, who will firstly, defend his/her teacher, but he will listen and be aware and will hopefully be able to help. I would have specifics reasons to discuss, such as the pencil, so much homework, her crying, not just say we don't like her. You can have a class under control w/o such heavy punishment. My 6th graders are good under the fear of silent break.

Answer 9

YES, ABSOLUTELY!

Get her away from that treacherous, disgusting teacher and get her out of that school if possible!

Answer 10

That is way to much homework for your child.I wonder if the teacher is not getting her work done in class so she sends it home for you to deal with. I would look into it and see if she has had complaints before.  

Answer 11

All of my children have had "mean" teachers in the past but it was never a problem because they knew how to behave appropriately and were respectful so they did not get into trouble. If she is not getting into trouble herself I fail to see what she is crying about.

The homework load is pretty normal for a good teacher and a good school. The assignment she had to re-write is no big deal either. It was done wrong and needed to be done correctly. Boo hoo! Maybe you should not listen to your daughters complaints so much. If she knows you have a "bleeding heart" she will play you every time. She may just want attention and obviously she is getting it.

Answer 12

i hated some of my teachers but they were tough for a reason and they were the best teachers i had looking back on it now, i wouldn't let her switch unless she is really miserable.

Answer 13

From a teacher, I would say your daughter succeeding is whats best.  

Ultimately if she walks away from this year hating school then it will not matter how tough or pushy, easy and kind the next teacher is, the love for learning will be crushed.  Grades are great, but a desire to try and fail is just as important.

I would say she needs to be very clear on her expectation of moving to a new class.  Her work ethic needs to remain and that you are doing this because you can see she needs this, not because she cried or because the teacher is mean.  It is because the teacher and her are a bit like oil and water.  

I would also speak to the teacher...and make sure that the school administrator is also present...write out your concerns and make them about your daughter (not the teacher).  Accusations go no where with a school board.  

Hope this helps and tell your daughter to "chin up".  Things always get better as long as the heart stays strong.

Answer 14

yes. and when she gets a job and her boss is mean she can quit. when she marries and her husband and he has a bad day and says something mean she can leave him. when she attends church and the preacher says something to offend her she can quit going. when you do something she just doesn't like she may just run away from home.

Answer 15

i think that you should change the teachers because that teacher could start to make fun of students I'm only 19 but i have tourettes and last year my social studies teacher yelled at me for twitching and i broke out crying in class (i was completely embarrassed also on the fact my teacher knew about my tourettes) i had to change the teacher for the better and that teacher actually had to say an apology to me over the loud speaker because my friends where so pissed they went to the principle as witnesses the day after my parents came in. I think that your daughter is to young to start hating school at the 4th grade. Also the fact must be horrible to know that your daughter has not been let out for recess if she didn'tt get over a 75% at the age of 9.

i would talk to the teacher and help her realizeze what she is doing to make these kids miserable.

Answer 16

Let your child use this as a lesson, not as a punishment. We all have to deal with "mean" people in this world. Unless it gets out of control, keep her in the class.  

Answer 17

keep her in that class. i think your right in that it she will benefit greatly from it later on in life. (If you let her quit she may have a tendency to do that any time things are tough. And its not like she'll have that teacher for ever.) Just keep loving her and building her up when she comes home upset.

Answer 18

i wouldnt switch her. this will teach her to cope later in life when she has a boss or co worker she doesnt really get along with. now if it were that the teacher only picked on her, i would have a teacher conference with the principal and everything, but it sounds like she is equal with all her students. just try your best to comfort her when she gets home after a rough day...

Answer 19

I think 4th grade is a little young to be pushing the children that hard. At this age I believe it's better to foster her love of learning and when she gets into upper grades that love will motivate her to do her best. Coming home crying nearly every day is not a price that should be paid for a 4th grade education when it could be done differently.

Answer 20

  Having a teacher like that is not good for your daughter's self-esteem.  I would first talk to the teacher and principle and try to resolve any problems. If that doesnt help, switch teachers.

Answer 21

no because guess what happens when they go to collage?