Should I let my son feel my b*****s?

Question

I am a married female 31 years old. I have a very curious 11 year old son. He recently asked if I would let him feel my b*****s. His request left me speechless. I talked the situation over with my husband, who stated I should not make an issue out of such a little request that stems from natural curiosity. My husband told me to let him feel my b*****s and explain their function to him. I do not want to harm him emotionally. Would it be proper for me to let him feel my b*****s and explain that they provided nourishment to him during his first six months after birth, or should I refrain from such requests? I do not want to create an atmosphere that would embarrass him from asking future questions about females and sexuality. I personally don't have a problem with permitting him to feel my b*****s, but I want to ask your advice if it would do any harm to him by approving such a request. He has asked several times and I keep making excuses why the time is not appropiate at the moment. Would this hurt or help my child?

Answer 1

Wow that is a tough one! Since he is 11, he is really starting to think about the opposite s*x and differences. It is great that he is comfortable enough with you to be able to talk openly about his curiosity. That is something that could be very valuable in the future when discussing more serious issues with him.

Personally, I would be uncomfortable with letting my son do this. But that is just me. MAYBE I would agree to it if I was wearing a bra and a shirt and he just felt briefly through the fabric or something. Probably not. That is a really personal decision you have to make and only you can make it.

As for explaining the function of b*****s - YES! Certainly explain to him what they do and their importance in feeding infants. Having a better understanding of their purpose is important.

Congrats on raising a child who is so open and honest with you! Good luck through these adolescent and teen years.  

Answer 2

dont let him do it

thats ur personal stuff.. not his

answer mine:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 3

This is a gooood question.

I would tell him that the breast area on a woman is a very personal area so no, he may not feel mommy's b*****s but don't shame him for asking the question.

I think it's a great idea to teach him their function but also remind him that some areas are just private.

Answer 4

I would have to say not to let him. You can describe what they feel like and make sure he knows the importance of respecting a woman. You dont want him to go around grabbing all the girls b*****s at school.

Answer 5

There is something that desperately needs to be said here:

Are you KIDDING me??

I've just run through a list in my head of every married couple I've ever known in my entire life. And I can't think of a single husband---be he young, old, conservative, progressive, fundamentalist or atheist---who would have told his wife to offer up her own b*****s to satisfy her pubescent son's curiosity, or who would consider that a "little" request. This is the most degrading thing I've ever heard, and that's saying a lot.

If this is a real question, you need to wake up and smell the coffee. There are some boundaries between parent and child that should never be crossed. Your husband isn't merely trying to erode those boundaries, he's trying to obliterate them altogether. To what purpose? Frankly, I can't think of a benign one.

You've already damaged your child by your passivity. But someone else has already led your child seriously astray, or he wouldn't be so persistent in his requests for something so unreasonable (not to mention unnatural).  I'd be more interested in finding out when and how he got this notion into his head, and who put it there.

There's an old saying that "a fish doesn't know he's wet." You're in an abusive situation and you don't even realize it. Neither does your child.

I can't decide whether the lot of you belong more in family counseling, or Family Court.

Answer 6

NO

THAT'S WRONG

if he is curious show him pictures and just explain, he doesn't need to see yours

Answer 7

No don't!

To be honest...when ur child grows up and thinks back to the time his mom let him feel.. her breast it would be incredibly awkward.

Answer 8

No, afterwards he might think its normal and ask to feel other womens.

You should show him pictures and stuff to explain and you should tell him if he has any other questions he can come to you.. tell him its good to be curious.

Answer 9

awesome question... i think that you should let him feel them, but only to an extent. don't let him grope you or anything, just explain that all girls have them and that some day when he finds a good girl to marry he can enjoy hers. also explain that they are completely natural and nothing to be worried about or think too much about

Answer 10

No,I think it would hurt him.

Answer 11

Can i touch your b*****s? Lol! j/k.  Actually no, i dont think you should.  I was never given "visual" aids by my parents to help me understand the functionality of a breast and i did just fine.  If your son doesnt learn from his father then he will learn where everybody elso does, at school.  Either his friends will teach him or maybe the schools s*x ed class will.  If you dont think hes old enough to know about s*x then why would you let him feel your b***s.  I definitely feel this will hurt your son.  but thats just my opinion.  

Answer 12

I wouldn't let him touch them. Just explain with an anatomy book or something.

Answer 13

I agree that you shouldn't discourage him from curiosity (healthy curiosity) and from asking questions, but I do not think it is natural curiosity, for you to let him feel your b*****s. I agree with the first answerer that you could show him pictures and explain their function, but I really don't think that is okay for him to be touching your b*****s.  

Answer 14

I'm trying to be open-minded about this, but it just doesn't seem appropriate. I agree with the person above...don't make him feel bad for asking, but explain that your b*****s and and other areas (you can explain the "other" areas, too) are private.

What would you do if he asked to see or feel your v****a? The situation kinda seems the same to me.

Answer 15

umm, i ould NOT let  him touchyou. thas kind of wrong. if i were you, id print off this diagram (or similar):

http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=ht...

and explain o him the function of the breast. also explain about the whole feeling thing. tell him to NEVER grab a womans b*****s unless shes ok with it. also tell him to not ask women to feel their b*****s unless thyre in  a serious dating relationhip. lastly, tell him not to feel ashamed of ha he asked. it was asked out of curiosity and he did nolt know any better before=]

Answer 16

I agree with the others.

Here are my thoughts.  It could scar him or it couldn't. It may make him have affections for you that you don't want...so let him know that it is private for women and let him know what they are for.