Should I let my son repeat kindergartent?

Question

My son just turn 6, and he is a mild autistic boy. He reads really well, does great with numbers, can count up down, and count skip 5, skip 2 up to 100, and write. The only thing worries me is that he does not talk well. He talks and acts like 4, or 5 years old . So I can not know for sure how much he is processing from what he learns. I am thinking about keep him in Kindergartent 1 more year. Has anyone have this kind of experience ? Of course, I will talk to all of his teachers and therapists, school to see what they think .

Answer 1

Sounds like he is scholastically ready for !st grade.  I would ( and I did with my son)  let him go on the 1st grade but get him into a speech therapy class.  It worked for us, and son was in speech therapy for 3 years.  But he is all grown up now and you would never know he had a speech problem. Check to see if the school offers speech therapy, ours did.  So cost nothing. If not offered in your school check your local hearing and speech center sometimes they offer classes, cheap or free.

Answer 2

Now is the very best time to do it.  Boys mature slower anyway and in Kindergarten he will not have the social or emotional baggage to deal with, of being "held back".   After reading the other answers, maybe 1st grade is the best.  They do learn so many more building blocks in 1st grade.

Answer 3

i think it may be good for your child to repeat kindergarten to learn to socialize with other kids and learn with them.

the older the kids get the easier the notice the difference between them and those with special disibilities.

he sounds like an intelligent boy annd does not seem in need to repeat kindergarten.instead of him repeating he could always take up some out of school activitie like sport which needs communication and team work to e successful.this could help him with the people skills he needs to communicate with other children of his age.

Answer 4

Does he have a speech therapist?  If so, the question is not so much where he's at as it is "at what rate is he improving."  

If he's just a little behind, then I don't see any reason to have him be a 7 year old kindergarten kid.  Academically, you say he's keeping up, but his speech is behind.  How will keeping him back improve his speech?  Surrounding him with other kids who don't know how to speak properly yet will not help him.  In fact, hanging out with adults who use proper english and interact with him should help him learn to mimic better speech.  I was using words like "precocious" when I was three because I hung out with lots of adults who adore big words.  Mimicking is the first part of learning.

Obviously, his teachers, etc are more familiar with his case....  but if speech is the only issue, I don't see any reason why he can't go on.

Answer 5

I think this question is too complicated to be answered on this forum.

I suggest you consult a proffesional before you decide if your son should stay or not.

Answer 6

As a special educator myself, I do not see any reason at all to retain your son in kindergarten.  His academic skills seem quite high, so it would seem that he is ready for the challenge of first grade.  You surely would not want him to be bored next year repeating kindergarten, because that's when behaviors take a turn for the worse.  Also, his speech and behavior are not that far from his peers from your description.  That is surely a manifestation of his autism, and it may be something he continues to face for many years to come.  

I have found young children to be very accepting of children with special needs; however, when spec. ed. students are retained the other children have the perception that it was because the special ed students are "that way."

Many schools are reluctant to retain students at all and especially reluctant when it comes to special education students.  Even if that is truly how you feel, you might find some resistance.

Answer 7

I would talk to his teachers.  Is he emotionally and socially ready for first grade?  He is in kindergarten so it won't be an embarrassment issue for him.  Do you in your heart of hearts believe he is ready for first grade?  There are many factors involved(as you know).  Will he be left behind in first grade, because he has no speech.  Does he have other ways to communicate that is easily understood by others?  I am a mom of a child with special needs , so I understand how difficult these decisions can be.  Good Luck.  I am sure you will make the right choice.

Answer 8

I'd let him move onto first grade b/c he'll get bored in Kindergarten again, if he knows what he needs already.  That could lead to many behavior problems.  I'd look into speech therapy, or some program to help him with socialization.  But, I would talk to his teacher to see if he is ready, and therapists too.  They might be able to help him with the speech issues that he is facing.

Answer 9

I agree that first grade is a better grade to repeat. However, autistic children do not socialize well at any age, and his disability might just be the reason he talks and acts like he is 4 or 5.

It is a difficult decision to retain a student. Usually the school uses several indicators to make that determination. I would consult with them before you make your final decision.

Answer 10

I have a 9 year-old Boy who is severe Aspergers child. Who was in a similar situation to your son.

He is super smart in maths and reading but lags behind on emotional development and gross motor skills, among other things.

We let him go ahead for 2 reasons. 1. He would have been horribly bored repeating a years worth of work that he was already way beyond. 2. He would not understand why he was being kept behind and ultimately away from his classmates.

We did not have any problems with this decision until last year when his chronological age was 8, his educational age was 12 and his emotional developmental age was 6. He unfortunately had a teacher who thought that his emotional development should be up there with his educational age, and it was him being "naughty and wilful" that was stopping from achieving that, we ended up pulling him from that school. He is still with his age group but we are supplementing (through Correspondence School, not sure if you have such a thing where ever you are) his maths. He is now finishing his final assignment in Junior High Maths before starting High School maths.

What we have are kids that are square pegs trying to fit into the round holes of mainstream education. They will never fit, and we need to be the ones directing their education, because teachers these days are not sufficiently trained in teaching special needs kids. Good luck and I hope everything works well for you.

Answer 11

Speech is one of the things which can be delayed in autism. Some children never speak. How are his social skills. If you think that socially he needs to repeat a year then talk to the teacher's if his only real issue is with speech I'd say put him up to the next grade. Try to get him help from a speech therapist/pathologist though. Being around older children who can talk better may actually improve his speech, as he may try to copy or mimic them.

Answer 12

Communication is the area of disability.  Many parents would love to see their children perform only a year behind. He will always lag behind in this area.  Let him continue to the next grade and continue to develop his communication skills at his own rate.

Answer 13

have a heart! dont make him repeat one more year. let him finish his education asap. im sure he will do great things. einstein didnt talk till he was 4!

Answer 14

I had a similar situation with my daughter years ago.   Her problem was the opposite.   She could do well in her reading but she just didn't understand numbers.   We actually had her work with someone for the summer before she started first grade.   It felt so wierd having my daughter tutored for first grade.   I just could not believe it.   Anyway, we asked a multitude of teachers what we should do, and only one hinted that she never heard of any parent complain about holding their child back one year in school.  I found this to be true.  We ended up letting our daughter go through first grade.   Then we held her back again in the first grade.   It did a world of good and she did not care in the least.   I feel that if you decide to hold your child back, you would be better off doing it in the first grade than in kindergarden.   First grade really starts to teach the fundamentals much more than kindergarden, and your child would gain much more from staying in 1st grade than in kindergarden.  That's my experience anyway.   It's a hard decision to make, but I would wait and see how he does in 1st grade before you do anything.  You never know, he might just do fine.   You should talk to the school about picking out a teacher that would fit your child's needs.   If you give them a heads up on this they will work with you. Good luck.

Answer 15

I was told when one of my twins was not doing well in K-5 that it was better for them to repeat 1st grade than K-5.

The lady who gave me this advice was a good friend and principal of the school. A very respected educator.

I took her advice and am glad I did. The twins are now 29 yrs old.