Should I listen to my husband or not?

Question

I have an internet friend and we've been friends for 3 years now and he's about 15 years younger than me (he's 19 yrs. old) but our age gap doesn't seem to hinder our friendship. About a month ago, his folks won tickets to NY (he's from California) and I was able to meet him and his father (I tagged my two kids along with me). Of course, before I went to meet him, I asked my husband if it's alright with him and even asked him if he would like to join us and he said it was ok but refused to accompany me. Well, after I met with my friend, my husband stopped talking to me and one night he accused me of having an affair with this boy. I reassured him that this guy is only a good friend but he wouldn't listen to me. I also pointed out to him that my friend is only 19 yrs. old but he asked me to stop talking to this guy. I have told my friend and he felt so bad about my husbands' jealousy but I don't want to end our friendship. What should I do?

Answer 1

Its incredibly strange for a married woman to want to be friends with a 19 year old. Unless she is looking to have an affair. And I can see it happening before you can. He's 19. Don't you have non male friends that are your age?

Your little friend is 19. Do you really believe that he just wants to be friends?

And yes you should listen to your husband. He has very valid concerns about this guy. And quite honestly, even though your husband doesn't own you, he does have a right to tell you when to cut the bullsh*t out. He doesn't want you to be friends with some 19 year old guy, who has no intentions of just keeping it friendly.

If your marriage is important to you, and it should be your highest priority..then cut the c**p.

Your married...that means you have no male single friends.

Answer 2

Hmm.. well maybe he's insecure due to the possibility of affairs that arise from such situations.. honestly, i would'nt risk anything like this with my husband.. if i had to choose, hubby or the boy, i'd say i'll just keep the boy as an online friend and listen to my husband still.

Answer 3

your husband should have told you the truth from the start, you had no business going to meet this guy, and i bet if your husband had a hot little 19 year old friend, you would be pissed to no end!

Answer 4

Excuse me but your a married woman and have NO business meeting men from online.

If you want to save your marriage then you better stop communication with this man that's what you should do.

You marriage should be more important to you then some 19 yr old who probably only wants to get in your pants.

Use some commen sense if you have any.

Answer 5

Have your husband speak with both of you and a marriage counselor. That would be the only way for him to come to terms with your innocence.

Also, on one hand, after this is all over you should feel a sense of  higher self worth and have grown as a person as well as a couple from this experience.

Answer 6

Wow what is up with your husband - he is way out of line.  I would tell your husband to F off and die.

Answer 7

Go ahead and s***w the 19 year old b/c unless you are that dense why else would a 19 year old have anything to do with a 34 year old!!!    

After that, kiss your marriage goodbye

Answer 8

You need to be careful here.  Protecting your husband's feelings and making him feel secure in your marriage must come first, right?  So...slow down, step back and try to empathize a bit here.  If he had an internet girl he wanted to meet, and he was obviously excited and looking forward to it, wouldn't you think something might grow from that?  I think you need to just stop and look at the thing from his angle.

(I agree with Beth, by the way.  Men do not do platonic friendships....they just have women friends they haven't figured out how to have s*x with yet).

Answer 9

I have a friend who is 22 years younger then me. My wife is a little uneasy with it but I keep reassureing her that nothing will happen and this girl is more like a neice or daughter and not a girlfriend. Your husband is too insecure about this. Just keep reassureing him that you love him and only him and that this person is only a friend to talk too.