Should I live on base with him?

Question

My boyfriend of almost 2 years has just enlisted in the Marine Corps. He wants to get married asap, but I would like to wait. Anyhow, he wants me to come and live with him on base while he goes to school. I would then finish my degree in pre med at a nearby college. Is this a good idea?? How are marine wives treated on base??

Answer 1

Since you can't live with him on base if you aren't married and that pretty much answers your question.  You've been told repeatedly that as a recruit he will not have anything more than a barracks room and his command is not about to give him permission to live off station.  

Answer 2

You won't be able to live with him and receive BAH until you are married.  And most MOS schools are short enough that you wouldn't be allowed to live with him even if you were married until he got his Permanent orders.  And yes... the worse possible thing you could do is marry before you are ready.  

Life in the Military means constant change and upheaval.  It is very common for young men who are soon to leave for boot camp or to be deployed to rush to the alter.  Lots of psychological reasons for that, and the failure rate of those marriages is very high.  It would be best, by far, for you to be settled and focus on your own education while he goes to school (in more than one place, likely) and then gets orders for his permanent duty station  (using the term "permanent" loosely, you understand!)  

At this time in life, the best choice you could make would be to focus on your own education while he focuses on his first 2 years in the Corps... At that point he'll have settled in to life as a Marine, will be making decisions about whether or not he wants to re-enlist... and will be dealing with duty station and deployment issues.  Once both of you are more familiar with the military, you'll be able to make better choices about this.  At this point, neither one of you has any idea what life in the military, on base might be like... including what base he'll be stationed at.  

Answer 3

If you aren't ready to get married then don't. You have time between boot camp and SOI (school of infantry) / MOS (military occupational specialty) school, and time after he's done school if you decide that you want to marry him.

Also, you cannot live with him while he's at school. He'll be gone for 13 weeks of boot camp, he'll have 10 days leave, then he'll report to SOI or his MOS school.

If he's single (meaning unmarried) then he'll live in barracks at his first duty station (after his completion of SOI / MOS school). You can visit during the day (no overnights).

If you and he decide to get married then you and he can apply for on-base housing or BAH (basic housing allowance, lets you live off base) when he gets to his first duty station.

Still, if you aren't ready - wait.

Answer 4

As the others have said you will not be allowed to live on base without being married.  We are an Army family so the rules may be different for MOS training, but they should be fairly similar.  As a new recruit he will likely not be allowed to live off base even if he was married until he reached a certain phase of training if at all.   Even if you were married if the training is less than 6 months long I am pretty sure they would expect him to live in the barracks.  I would advise that you wait until he gets a permanent duty station and if you want to move close to that base you can.  Remember though as a lower ranking enlisted soldier he will not be allowed to live off base so you would very likely be living alone.

Answer 5

You can't live with him on base unless the two of you are married. So, that might be forming part of his reasons to rush the nuptials. And I doubt if his rank is going to qualify him for base housing while he is attended a service school at that base. That means you two will have to rent an off-base apartment and he won't be spending a lot of time with you in that apartment because liberty during attendance at a service school is rather restricted.  

Answer 6

Your bf aka new husband will not qualify for base housing while he is in school. He will need to apply at his first duty station.

Where will he be stationed and when will he deploy ? Hint: He won't know until he gets his orders near the end of school and won't know the housing situation until he arrives at his first duty station. Most Junior enlisted housing has a waiting list and living in the civilian community can be expensive. Especially for a new guy who is an E-1-E-3.  Next ? is who will pay the tuition costs for your pre med and med school ? Do either of you have enough money saved to evan basically furnish a home ? If you had to live off base do you have 2 months down for security plus first month saved plus util deposits ? Either of you own a decent car ?

Hate to rain on your parade, but no this is not a good idea. Matter of fact, it's a really bad one. I've seen too many newlyweds break up over the financial pressure and responsibilities of getting married too young.

What about going through all this stuff only to find out your husband deploys for 6 months in 6 weeks and then your stuck away from your family/friends waiting for him to come back ?

It's best for you right now to stay where you are and wait until some of the above questions can be reasonably answered and your financially able to cope with your new life together.

Answer 7

to live on base you WILL NEED to be married,,,in the military if you are not married technically the spouse does not exist.  if you are not ready to get married DONT DO IT. the military has a high enough divorce rate, let alone military life and the pressure of getting married when you are not married.  wives are treated with respect for the most part and many bases have a tight knit wife community.  but if you are not ready for marriage do NOT do it.  

in the end you are not entitled to live on base unless married, and you will have no benefits etc with out a marriage certificate.

Answer 8

The worse thing you could do is get married before you are ready to. If marriage is what you want, then go for it. But if you are not ready, don't rush into it just b/c he wants you to.  

Answer 9

Normally students are not authorized on base quarters. That seldom happens before permanent party assignments.

Answer 10

First of all, you can't live with him on base unless you are his wife, period. base housing is for married couples and families. If you are talking about marrying him, let me say this. If you have any reservations about marriage, you owe it to him and to yourself to think long and hard about getting married while he is in the Marine Corps. The Marines deploy extremely rapidly (sometimes in a matter of hours) and can be gone for many months and even years.

Answer 11

you cannot.  Nor can he live anywhere but the Barracks.  

stay put.  even if you were married you still would not have been permitted to live on base unless his school was for longer than 6 months.  and then only if there was room in base housing.  

Answer 12

Well unless you are married, you can't live on base. Gf's to anyone in any service, have no rights at all. You can tho, move to where ever he is stationed at, and get a place of your own off base till you decide to get married. Finish school first, he's getting his life in order, do the same for you, then get married.  

Answer 13

if he lives on base and he's single.... how are you going to move in with him? he will probably be in a barracks.... I doubt you'll be able to live on base but, if he can get authorized to get housing out in town, you could move in with him. But, it's really up to you. Do you want to live with him without being married? it sounds old fashioned, but, it's still good to live with some morals... plus, what does your family think? maybe you should talk to your mom and dad. If you get married... by all means, move in with him and be a family. (plus, he's probably feeling alittle nervous and lonely....) really it's up to you. good luck.

don't worry about how you'll be accepted on-base, the only thing tougher and more resilient than a marine.... is his wife. you'll be accepted fine.

Answer 14

1. You can't live with him on-base if you're not married.

2. Depending on the length of his school you might not be allowed to live on-base with him even if you are married.