Should I live with my mom or with my brother and his wife?

Question

Hi!! I'm actually at a point where I can choose who to live with. Both of them have good things and bad things. I love them both.

My mom: She can't control herself; she yells all the time, etc; she's always in a bad mood. It used to affect me a lot, but now I just ignore it and although I sometimes lose patience, for the most time now I'm OK with not letting it get to me. Usually she then calms down. With her, I'm kind of free to do whatever I want. I can listen to whatever music I want too. I can dress however I want to. I can have whatever hairstyle I want to.

Now, with my brother and his wife: they are very calm, very religious, peaceful... but, since they are very religious... they would probably not let me or criticize my music, my clothing, my spiked hair and so on. Maybe they wouldn't prohibit it from me, but I would always feel judged. And I'm not rebellious or anything. The kind of music I like is clean but fun, clothing is stylish, and hair spiked. I don't think there is nothing wrong with being like that and Christian. Yet, they seem to want me having this dull personality.

So, I'm not sure: My mom's chaos with freedom or my brother's peace without so much freedom?

what do I choose? what seems best? Like I said, I love them both and they have given that option, none would get hurt or anything.

Answer 1

i think it would be in your best interests to live with your brother,that sounds like a stable environment,your mother doesnt seem very stable so staying with her may cause problems

Answer 2

your brother would be stable, and it sounds like you need that. you can express yourself more when you move out, or maybe take weekend breaks at your mom's house

Answer 3

your mom

Answer 4

Why don't you live on your own.  You really think you won't hurt anyone's feelings?  You're wrong!

Answer 5

Well unless you don't want to mentally insane, i would go with the brother. My mom's the same like your mom and i rather go with the overly religious than live under her bad moods and yelling.  

Answer 6

i'd say your mom. she is your parent. your brothers not responsible for you. and it kinda sounds like you wouldn't be comfortable with ur brother and his wife in conservative house. if your cool with your mom stay there  

Answer 7

well id personally would like to live with ur brother n his wife...because I am Christian too...but the fact that ur brother is christian he should respect you for who u r...cuz God himself said come as u r....n thats how u dress n wear ur hair...i mean it isnt for u to go outside half naked either...but i mean i also think u should stay with ur mom not for the freedom but because shes ur mom n kids r suppose to b with their parents whether they like it or not

Answer 8

i wouldn't say you should live with your mum, even if you have learned to ignore her yelling. being around someone who is constantly in a bad mood, isn't healthy. you could become like that later in life, from just being around it all the time.

live with your brother, because you shouldn't let someone tell you what you can and can't be into.

be yourself. don't let anyone control who you are ;D

Answer 9

mom ..youll annoy your brother after a while

especially when he's gonna try to get IT ON!

and your in the house all da time

Answer 10

my answer is;

Chaos with freedom, or Peace with oppression, This is as close to real world as it gets.

Your brother and his wife from what you have said. Don't approve of your appearance or your Music? Why? It's what's "In the package" that matters, not the wrapper. This is being prejudice.

Your mother can't control herself. with yelling and (you didn't say but I'll guess) Impulsiveness in her behaviors? You say you have developed the ability to "Tune her out" when she starts in. And you have Freedom to make your own choices without feeling bad or worrying about any "good choice" you make.

Tough call Kid.

I would take some time and Hang out at the brothers. See how you like it there and just how disapproving of your style they are.

See how this change effects your mom. Maybe she will calm down a little and you can talk more as friends and then help each other grow.

And you don't say your age but I'd guess mid Teens?

Don't jump, gather more info. Good Luck! You sound like you have a good,loving family so a little "See" time should be OK.

hope my answer helps

Answer 11

your brother because it may seem that you won't have much freedom but you will have more freedom because you will be happier and not as many worries. Sometimes restrictions aren't as restricting as you think.

Answer 12

yo brother

Answer 13

I would say your mom (who cares if she yells, what mom doesn't). Staying w/your brother he might not like it after a while due to having no privacy and I'm quite sure a married couple would want their privacy.

Answer 14

i think you should stay with your mother right now. Your brother will always be there for you, and the only reason why it sounds so good now is because you don't live with him. And from the sounds of it, your mom needs you as much, if not more than, you need her.