Should I make a harder punishment for my son?

Question

My 13 year old son and I went shopping today for his new clothes, I know school had started 2 weeks ago, but I couldn't afford money, so I had money this week so now I went shopping with him. We spent over 2 hours shopping in the morning, everything went great until we passed by at Hot Topic, and he wanted to go there, so I said okay, and then he showed me that one shirt that said something about cutting people, and he wanted to buy it, and I freaked out and said no, that is not appropriate, and then Tom started getting mad and whined saying that he wants that shirt because one of his friends wore that kind of shirt when he went over to his friend's house. I said no, there will be no shirts that suggest killing people, and to just be yourself, so I said let's go, and Tom started pouting and crying like a 2 year old, and then I started to raise my voice and said if you start to cry about it, we'll get no slush and I'll just drive you back home, he stopped, and then it was fine until we were at the food court while he is finishing his slush, when he brought up that topic again, and I said no, rules is rules, then Tom said that why I have to make rules, that it's his life, and that he can do what he wants, he rules the house, not me, and then we both got to an arguement, and that ended with Tom throwing himself on the ground in front of everybody and started crying loudly while covering his face and pounding the floor while kicking his legs upward, and rolling around the floor. I got so mad I started to leave the food court and back home, and then Tom ran up to me and pushed me almost knocking me to the ground, then I yelled at Tom so loud and told him we're going home now, so I grabbed him by the arm hard and went out of the door while people were looking at me and my son, and then he even refused to get in the car and threatened to turn my wheel and crash the car while I'm in the middle of driving, so I got home and took away his privelages, no computer, no tv, no phone, no friends over, no going to his friends house, and I even spanked him and put him in timeout in the corner, since if he's going to act like he's 2, he should get a 2 year old punishment, so my question is, should I put a harder punishment on my son? Do you think this punishment is too light for my son? Should I push it further?

Answer 1

hmmm i think thats enough!

what more could you do?

without mmy computer tv phone and friends

id die!!

so i think you should leave it at that.

but wow! iv never heard of a 13year old throwing a tantrum like that!

haha!

maybe dont bring him shopping again for aaages

then maybe next time he'll think twice before doing that again!!!

Answer 2

No you did a very good job at punishing him and you took it rather well because there are people who have kids like them and beat the c**p out of them. You should probably consider anger management because I have seen a kid the same age act this way and he has only gotten worse with in time, I only said consider it it might help both you and him I would wait a while and if he keeps acting this way get him anger management

Good Luck! I hope things get better for you!

~Kenzie

Answer 3

The clothes, all of them, need to go back to the stores.

You actually did quite well.  Kudos to you for not being afraid to spank.  I applaud you.  Your son will go far in life.  Keep up the good work.

Edit: From now on, he's to buy his own clothes with whatever money he gets from gifts, mowing lawns, shoveling snow, etc etc etc.  But you still get to decide WHAT kind of clothes he can get.  Tell him if he wants to be treated more adult like, he can start acting more adult like, and part of being an adult is working to pay for your things.

Answer 4

yes he should be punished more

First he should have been told that you were there to buy school clothes and that shirt would not be allowed in school.So no he could not have it.period.

Secondly I would have taken back everything I bought.  He would wear what he had until he was ready to go shopping for appropriate things to wear to school.

Thirdly he would be getting up ; going to school coming home and sitting until dinner doing any chores he knows he is to do and sitting again until time for bed  in time out for a least a week.  If threatened to grab the wheel while I was driving I would make him sit in the back seat and I would take the time to just sit until he is calm enough to continue to go home.. My kids were much younger but I stopped the car until they were ready to continue.

You may not be bigger than him but you have the ability to out do him by just being consistent.  You need to get a handle on it now before he causes some real problems later.  You are the parent. If there is another parent in the family make sure you are both on the same page and work together.

I just went back and re read your post I do not know what to do about the tantrum.

You may need to get some parenting classes to learn how to deal with him I have not had a child this age act like this. If he is pushing you he is abusing you NO ONE should ever put there hands on another in anger. It kind of depends on whow often this has happened but I feel like he has an anger problem that needs to be delt with. Punishment may not be the answer he may need medical help.  

Answer 5

No, I think you were too severe with him.

Lighten up!

Answer 6

have him return all the clothes you bought today.

Answer 7

If your son is behaving like that, then maybe you have been punishing him too lightly in the past. I think what you did is appropriate but you need to continue to withhold privileges from him for at least a month.

Answer 8

You should make this much harsher, especially for throwing a tantrum in public like that and shoving you nearly to the ground. Take everything out of his room except for a blanket on the floor (not even a pillow) and don't give it back until he has shown a drastic improvement in behavior (at least a week).

Answer 9

I would have taken everything I purchased for him back to the stores and gotten my money back, then drove him home and told him that was the end of shopping for him, that if he wants new clothes for school he can buy them himself.  By the way, I wouldn't have stopped at the food court either.

Answer 10

Give him more punishments. You certainly do not want your 13 yr old child doing thins again. Show him this is not ok and he better not do this again. Make him do all the chores that he can possibly do for about a week. So you can relaxe and take some time for your self

Answer 11

I'm 13 and i definitely wouldn't act like that with my mom she would kill me. i think you should punish him more!

Answer 12

He acted horribly.  He should never put his hands on you.  He also mentioned crashing the car...that puts others in danger as well.  I think you did fine and maybe don't require further punishment, but I feel you should talk more about it with him.  My son is 11 and does OFTEN mention about when he grows up and is an adult that he will do what he wants ... especially when I don't buy an Itunes song called "Miss Murder."  *ROLLING EYES*  You know how it goes ... they'll learn one day that we are right about some things ... especially when they have children.

Answer 13

He needs to be reminded of WHO is BOSS in your home so do something that refreshes his memory.Give him some jobs to do around your home if you already have him do some then add MORE.