Should I make him pay?

Question

I am a 17 year old mom since 6.11.08. I split with the dad in mid December of 2007, and I have not spoken to him since 2 months before my son was born. The father had called me 2 days ago because he was in jail and that was his excuse why he had not called. Anyways i found out i was pregnant a month after i was with him, and its been 10 months now and he has not done nothing but give me 60 dollars i had to beg him to give me for my sons savings. When i called him to tell him i was in labor which turned out to be false, he told his gf at the time to tell me he was busy and he will call me back later. I have given him chance after chance and he doesn't get it. I just want my son to know his father. I also want to trust that god will take care of us the way he intends but my family doesn't agree. they think i should make him pay because he has 2 other babies he is not paying for or seeing by choice. i really want to trust in god and not make him pay but am i using this out of context....i do not want to make him pay because its a hassle and i am doing fine without him and i think that god will deal with him the way he intends. He has made a lot of mistakes with being a dad, and i don't know if god wants me to give him second chances like he does. I really don't know what to do. Sorry if this sounds awkward or makes no sense its confusing. I just don't want to make an effort to give him second chances if this is not what i should do, or what god wants me to do. also the father wants me to drive up to see him this Saturday. he would come see me but he has no car. I don't know if i even want to be involved with him because i have been doing fine and i don't want the father to get in the way of things but i also want my son to be around his dad and his dad to see his son. sorry again if this is making no sense. thank you any input would be awesome god bless

Answer 1

You can not  force a man to be a father to his child. While it is a sad truth it is a truth. However you can make him responsible for his actions. You guys chose to have s*x and that resulted in a child. So since it was a joint decision to lay down together why should bear the responsibility financially alone. And If you are only 17 years old then I know that you are getting help from the people in your family. But before you had s*x did you consult your family. Make that man responsible for his actions. Never close your son off from him. Always allow him to see him and let your son develop his own opinion of his father. And just love your child as much as you can and as hard as you can.

Answer 2

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."

Don't sit around blindly waiting for a god to fix your problems.  You should use your mind and think about the situation instead of waiting for your problems to be miraculously solved.

To answer your question:  If he is man enough to make a baby, he is man enough to care for one.  Take him to court and get the money that your child deserves.

Answer 3

When you father a child you have a responsibility to him/her.  Whether he is involved in the life of your child or not he needs to pay.  If he can accept that responsibility as a man and make the payments on time for a year then you could consider furthering his relationship with his son.  As far as his relationship with you I'd scrap it this kind of person isn't trustworthy and trust is the main component in a relationship.  It is important to forgive him and move on you don't need to continue letting him walk all over you.

Answer 4

It is only right that your ex should pay towards his child. He needs to stand up and face his responsibilities and not keep making children that he has nothing to do with and provides no support to any of them.

Maybe it is God's way for you to hit him where he hurts, his pocket and stop him bringing yet more children into this world.

Well done to you for taking care of your child all by yourself.  

Answer 5

You can try to make him pay for the child but, if you do you will have to pay lawyers and court fees and then be prepared when he wants visitation.  Do you really want him to have your child on weekends or overnights.  if he is paying child support he will be given visitation in most states. Take it from me it is very hard to prove he is unfit to see his own child.  Think really hard on this one.  If you don't need him, you may be doing the best thing for you and your baby to cut off all contact with him before he decides he loves the baby and wants to see him regularly.

Good Luck