Should I marry this Marine Corporal?

Question

Okay I'm 19 and I live here in Philippines while my significant other is in Japan but he will be out in the service on March or May '09. He's ready to get back in states but what about us. The distance will definitely make things harder for us. So lately this dude is giving me hints that he wants to marry me and he's actually looking for ways on how to get me in states as soon as possible. The problem is I already have life here. I'm almost done in college (undergrad) in a premier University here and I have many plans like going to graduate school (MS & Phd). This isn't about marrying him for citizenship or money or whatnot. I love this guy and it seems like the only way that we will be together is to get married. He's eager to take advantage of his GI Bill so he can't just move here. Looks like i should be the one to give up something to make things work. So is it a right decision to give up my education and runaway from home and move in states for the love of this guy? I get dumb with this thing!

Answer 1

You answered your own question, you have doubts, and you are scared, yes, you are scared, do not give up everything you have worked for in your life, including your education and leave your family.

Do not do this!!!! You are scared, you have doubts, look at your question, do you see how scared you are????

Being with him will turn out to be the worst thing you could ever do for your life!!!!

Stay, and stand up for yourself, you belong at home with family who loves you, he does not, if he respects you, he will make time to see you, he can see you on leave, he can do that, do not let him or anyone push you into something you will regret.

If you do this, you will regret it, please, tell him no, but you want to stay home, if he really, really loves you and cares for you, he will see you on leave, he can save his GI bill for another time.

Answer 2

you are 19, and seem very inteligent,  also, it seems like your parents are encouraging you study..

This guy doesn't seem to smart. Because if he gets out and then marries you and then tries to bring you to the states, it will be very difficult for , WHERE as if he stays in the military, and marries you it is easier to bring you where ever he is.

However, life in the USA is not easy. People have to work very hard and if neither of you have an education it will be even harder.

Sure many people have luxuries, ac, cable tv, internet at home, cars, etc... but both hubby and wife work 40 hours a week,  and it is hard.

and the economy is getting worse now in the USA.

If I were you, I would finish your schooling, earn your Ph.D, make your family proud of you, get a good job in PI, and then marry someone,

your potential mate will probably have an education too, and the both of you will earn good money.  

you are young, don't make poor decisions

if you two truly love each other,

he will get out, and return to school,

you will continue studying

and you will see eachother once or twice a year

and in 4/5 years from now, marry....

Answer 3

Finish your education. He wants to get a GI Bill education, too, so let him do that without (no offense) distractions. You both sound refreshingly level-headed for being so young, so use your brains. Visits can be possible, phones and letters are there for the using, and see if absence makes the heart grow fonder. You can mend a cracked heart, but if you miss a great opportunity to crack the books, you may never get it again. Go for the education first.  

Answer 4

No you shouldn't. Don't throw your life away.  

Answer 5

you can have your schooling transfered to the states and not lose any credits. we have many fine grad schools in the U.S. when you marry him you'll have many benifits through the GI bill also, take advantage of them, thats what they are there for, to help GI's and their familys.

Answer 6

why not? You can always go to college in the states..

Answer 7

If he truly loved you then he won't stand in your way when you finish your education. Can he not come back to visit from time to time until your education is completed? Then you can get married? Maybe even research where he lives and see if you can finish your education here in the states.  

Answer 8

hahaha classic, do it

Answer 9

I agree with John. It's important that you complete your education first. You can't afford to let opportunities pass you by. The older you become and the longer you're married (maybe with kids as well) the tougher it becomes trying to finish the education that you started.

Get your life in order first. Then you can make a decision. If he balks and says "It's either me or forget it" then forget him. People who love one another don't give each other ultimatums.

Answer 10

Put yourself first he should support you 100% and if he doesn't...I'm available:)