Should I move on from my old friends?

Question

I'm 17, female and I moved when I was 15 from a small town I felt that I was outgrowing, to a big city where I'm relatively happy. I keep in very close contact with a couple of my close friends there, through regular texts, emails, and calling them on the phone. Problem is, I've had doubts about one of the friends I keep in contact with, although we're "close", I just feel like she keeps in contact with me because other friendships haven't worked out for her, and I'm always dependable. She asks me how I'm doing, and most of the time she sounds sincere, but I can't shake the feeling, even though we've been friends for years, that she's using me in some kind of way.

Should I sever ties with my old friends from my old town and invest more time in my new friends here? I feel like there's a subconcious reason I'm keeping in such close contact with my old friends. I have friends here, but I feel like my old friends that I still talk to are holding me back in some sort of way. Should I stop talking to them as often as I do????

Answer 1

I dont know if your friend is using you, but I think that maybe she still wants to be in contact with you. You might be her only friend who she thinks is dependable, so I think you should be the friend she thinks you are. But if you're not comfortable with that, then..tell her what you think.

I have moved across the world too, and its been 3 yrs.. i still visit every year in the summer. And although, we're not as close as we used to be and we havent talked for a whole year, we still visit each other and we still get along well :)

You can spend time with your new friends and at the same time, a few texts now and then with your old ones. Make it work!

The more friends the better.

Answer 2

Well forget about them and sometimes they can use you so forget about them, and friends that you are with them now just find out that they are not friends that uses you by hanging around with them a lot.

You are in another place so if you are no longer going to the city hang around with your new friends.

Answer 3

i did the same thing....dont do it

i regret getting out of contact with my old friends so bad, i really want to meet with them again but it would be awkward since i hvent seen them for five years....and they all go to different schools so they've probably moved

Answer 4

you shouldn't forget about them of course, keep in touch with them.. but you should keep your new friends closer because your old friends aren't  their with you now.. and by the way... if your old friends are really true to you... they shouldn't hold you back.      

Answer 5

Over time you will most likey break ties with your old friends because at your age you have other things to look foreward to.....and I would say the same thing to your friends she needs to realize to move on from the friendships she messed up.   When I feel like a friend is using me as a brace when others are kicking her down I sometimes feel being used....but I find 'not talking' about her problems and just talking about stuff just in general...I wouldn't break up yur friendship just give her a lil more time eventually she will move on and so can u...good luck  

Answer 6

I'm sure that you can find the time for both sets of friends. When I moved I tried to stay in touch with some of my friends and even though I have made new friends, I still keep in touch with a couple of old ones. I suggest you do the same - after all, it's better to keep as many friends as you can, isn't it?

Answer 7

do what makes you happy haha i dont think you can be used for talking on the phone miles away from someone but if you dont feel like making an effort to keep up with old friends then dont get to know the ones closest to you right now where you are and make new ones unless you plan on moving back then you should probably keep in touch

Answer 8

Are you really this shallow?

You're only 17, so I will forgive you.  In this world, you will find that you will not always have friends.  

You take care, now

Answer 9

IT's always good to maintain somewhat of a relationship of where you grew up. It's perfectly fine to talk to them once in a while. But texting and emailing is not a good excuse to ignore friends in your big city. Keep a healthy balance, and slowly "wean" your old friend. Making yourself dependable is not neccesarily a good thing in this situation. She is dependant on you as her emotional psychologist and truth be told, you can only offer words. You can't offer her a shoulder to cry on. You have to move on. Contact is still good though. Just make sure you don't feel obligated to contact them EVERY day. Don't feel obligated to reply to a text message RIGHT away.

Answer 10

Dont move on. You can never have to many friends. You'll regret moving on. Trust me, I miss her now.

Answer 11

It will work itself out.  One can never have too many friends.