Should I or shouldn't I

Question

Here's the story I got a car in my name for my sis so she could get go to work and pick up her kid because she got a job from 2:30 to 11:30PM.

She would have been able to take public transportation because she would have been stranded. She has since quit the job for reasons that don't make sense to me and also has failed to make the payments and she is behind 3 payments. She lied to me about paying them. The tags have expired. She says she will be homeless of I take the car from her and won't be able to take the bus. I cannot trust her to do what she says she is going to do. She has done this to several family members with apartments,ect.

I know I was dumb for doing this for her as well, but I was giving her the benefit of the doubt. I don't know, should I take the car from her to get it current or not. I don't want her to be homeless(?) but I feel she will continue to lie about payments and quiting jobs for stupid reasons.

Answer 1

Take the car. If you don't and it's repossessed, your credit is shot.

Answer 2

You can't hurt yourself to help someone who won't help themselves. This is your credit she is messing with. If she can't even be honest with you she doesn't deserve your help. I'd tell her to take a hike.

If you're not comfortable with that and you want to give her another chance, make her pay you so you can keep track of it. Next payment she misses you take the car back.

Answer 3

Sounds like your sis is heading for a vicious sick cycle of deliberate circumstances so that she can have issues for others to rescue her,,,,I would take the car back and tell her she has to figure out her own life....it is hard but in the long run it will mess your credit up and she will probably ruin the car anyways...you have a great heart and thats commendable but don't let her continue to abuse your giving heart because she will take you for everything you got...She has to learn responsiblity and she has made her own life the way she wants If she is not choosing to make things right then I would think that she will not make them right ever and does not want to change and is relying on anyone to feel sorry for her and will continue that way until she has no choice but to get her life together.

If people keep helping her they are not doing her a service...they are handicapping her and allowing her to continue her abusive self destructing behavior and she will not stop until she has no choice or gets put in jail or something...

I have a son that at 18 he decided he was man enough to get his own place, He was your ideal child...good grades in school good christian boy didnt get into trouble was athletic graduated from high school, After he got his apartment he started letting people come in to his house that did drugs and drank and had illicit s*x...for two months straight he decided he wanted to try all this stuff ...for the last 10 years of his life he has had to live in a half way house,....ended up with schizophrenia and has to be medicated ....he has never been the same and now he is 29....he has been in jail several times...and actually is in jail now....does it hurt .....it hurts like h**l....but I didn't make the choice he did.....he ran out of being able to stay with family because he became agressively abusive and was kicked out. I cant help him....he made his choice and it has taken a tole on his life for the worst....

What I am trying to tell you is that even though you probably care about your sister you must let her go and make her own mistakes because she is not going to stop until either the law gets her or someone hurts her...and I dont wish anything on anyone but I am telling you from experience...its not a good road to choose,,,

Good Luck! God Bless!

Answer 4

Make her give you the money for the payments, then you

make them so you'll know for sure that they got made, and tell her she IS going to be homeless if she doesn't get the car current.

Answer 5

you have to. if you still have doubts why dont you give...not LEND but give her some money to save her butt but still take the car, maybe even take the kids so they dont end up on the street

Answer 6

Is the loan in your name? If so take it . Knowing that the car is in your name,you are inabaling her to do as she wants,not helping.Use tough love on her .She hasen't hit rock bottom yet.She is feeding off your guilt,give her an inch and she'll run a mile . hope this works and good luck

Answer 7

Well all do some foolish things for those we love.  Just realize that if you don't take the car, eventually it will be repossessed if you can't make payments.  It would be better to sell the car and not have all those black marks on YOUR credit score.  Every payment that she misses counts against YOU.  I doubt that she would be homeless if she has family who loves her, someone could offer her a place to live.  Maybe it's time to talk to your sister about her habits and how they affect her children and her family.  Either way, if she won't change her behavior, it is best that you don't help her (but do help her child, by taking the child yourself or asking a trusted family member to take him/her).  She has to learn through very hard experiences that she doesn't want to live that way.  Offer to help her in anyway you can, but only if she meets certain requirements.  Tell her that the first time she doesn't follow the agreement (like holding down a job, paying her bills, and taking care of her child properly) you will take back the car, the apartment, and whatever other help you have been giving.  Let her know that you will help her if she has the courage to help herself.  If she won't choose to help herself, she will just have to learn the hard way.  Some people only learn if they are forced into it.  Just make sure her child is taken care of and then let her make her own mistakes and stop allowing her to use you.

Answer 8

You can help people all day long but if they don't want it- they will continue to abuse people until they grow up.  It seems as if your sister wants to do it the hard way.  One word- credit.  Dint mess your credit up because of the benefit of the doubt- your already 3 car notes behind and that is big money.  Take the car, make the payments, let your sister know you love her and will always be there for her-- when she is ready to stop using people and do something for herself.  And you need to see her try to make changes and then help.  Not help her into making changes.  Dont beat yourself up over trying to help your fam- my hats off to you.  Now take care of your situation.

Answer 9

You should take the car because these days as you know credit is everything. You can't do anything without good credit and if that car gets repo. Just imagine that huge mark on your credit that you will work hard for years to erase but it doesn't go away. It just gets a little better.

Answer 10

Take the car, before your credit and name gets ruined completely. She's irresponsible, and is lying to you. It's time she grows up, and learns to do for herself. She won't end up homeless, as I'm sure there's taxi's and buses where you live that she can use. If she wants nice things, she should earn them the right way. And as long as you keep bailing her out of her jams, she's NEVER going to change.

Let her sink or swim on her own, once she starts sinking far enough in debt, she might just decide to work for what she wants and needs just like the rest of us.

** If she was that worried about being homeless, she wouldn't have quit her job under ANY circumstances. How will she pay rent, with no income?

Answer 11

take the car and sell it.

Answer 12

The answers to all these situations can be found in one book - To h**l With h**l.  Sounds demonic but contains information about feelings , thoughts and actions on the part of all humans that can help bring sense to otherwise nonsenseable issues.  Barnes and Noble and Amazon.com.  You won't regret it.  220 pages.  Not a religious book, but is a book about how we all can be at peace inside us.  

Answer 13

The car is in your name.  You need to protect yourself financially.  You can be sued and loose everything you own.  She has done this before.  It is a pattern.  Take the car and get rid of it or keep it.  It is of course up to you on how much you want to gamble your life on this.  Good luck.

Answer 14

Don't let her use or have this car, she needs to learn to do things for herself. You can help her, but don't let her take advantage of you.

Good luck ;)