Should I order an EvilRoboBear from Helltoys 'R' US for my children?

Question

I heard they turn the kids into "to scared to go outside anymore".

Answer 1

Yep! And make sure it is too hard for you to program it.

Then they can figure out all the secret ways to make it

"GET DADDY"

Answer 2

The luxury 66GB1D0 edition sings a little song to the tune of Hemorrhage by Cradle of Filth

I'm your squeaky geeky pal

I'm always there for you

Your ickle bickle fwuufy fwend

From deepest darkest Pewu

I'll wake you in the morning

And play the games you like

I'll widdle in your cornflakes

and smear poo on your spike

A fwuffy wuffy fwend

a fwuffy wuffy fwend

Hail never let yoo down

An ickle bickle fwend

Will be there to the end

Hail never make yoo fwown

Answer 3

Evilrobobear has a pull string on it's neck that sez things like..

"Go steal money from your mom's purse"

"Put peanut butter on the roof of your dog's mouth"

"Drink milk AFTER th expiration date.on the carton"

Answer 4

ERB is worse than Chucky.  Bad idea.  Plus, once you buy one of those, the curse will be upon you.  You can never get rid of it.  Drive all night and bury him in a field in France, drive back home, open the door, and he'll be sitting on the sofa with one of those "you tried to kill me, I don't like you, wait until you fall asleep" looks.  The kids will probably have long since been eaten by then.

Answer 5

I don't think children can be too affected by yet another trauma.

Answer 6

You could also get arrested for promoting that too.

Answer 7

What?!? You mean you haven't given the little brats their EvilRoboBear from Helltoys 'R' US yet? What kind of father are you? Get out there and buy them several right away before I report you to the authorities for neglecting their emotional development!!!

Answer 8

Absolutely, in fact, buy some for the kids in the neighborhood and hand them out randomly.