Should I punish my child because he doesn't want to attend to an after school program?

Question

He is attending to a public school. They are going to be giving Bible Lessons after school. He is in fourth grade and he doesn't want to go, I don't want to force him to stay. My husband says that if he doesn't want to go, is o.k but to punish him, like not let him use his DS on the day of this program. Do you think that his idea is a good one?

This program's wed site is cefonline.com

The permission slip says " regardless of religious background"

Answer 1

Do not punish him.  Try talking to him in a calm voice. ask him why he does not want todo it.  try to make a deal with him. Remember he is your son. Make sure your son knows why you want him todo it

Answer 2

punishment for that?  That's pretty unreasonable.

Answer 3

if you punish him for it he might end up going, and that seems to be what your husband wants, but your son will be miserable. many children that were forced into religious things at a young age by their parents end up resenting the idea of religion as they get older. you should allow him to find his own way towards God instead of pushing him on it and punishing him for not being interested. Most fourth graders wouldn't be.

Answer 4

no -learn tolerance and take some parenting classes.

Answer 5

No, don't punish him - that probably won't help.  Instead, maybe have him try it a few times. It will probably be a whole lot of fun for him.

Answer 6

Respect his decision. If he dosen't want to go don't make him. He will resent the whole situation later. If you have an interest in the bible maybe you cold teach him yourself. What would you do if you were his age?

Answer 7

why do you want to punish him? chill out

Answer 8

This is an after school extra curricula activity. As somebody else said are you doing this as a childcare option or for entertainment. As it is optional I'd say that there is no reason to punish him. Is your husband seeing this from a religious background, and wanting his son to learn about the bible. If so get him to explain that to him as it may give him an insight into  why you want him to go.

If it is purely for childcare reasons and the child still doesn't want to go (again explain why you want him to go - you'd be surprised at what a child will understand and how they will respond) try and organise another type of childcare for him.

If it's for entertainment and the fact that you just want him to do something outside the ordinary curriculum of the school. Try getting him to go to a different activity on a different night as it would have the same result and would probably be something that he would like better.

Answer 9

It is your job to lead your child down a spirtual path that you feel comfortable with.  If you feel this is what he needs to do, that is what you should do.  Is there a reason that he doesn't want to go?  Perhaps you could place him in Awanas or something in the evenings that he might enjoy more.  I don't think that you should punish him, but rather make him go if its what you feel is right.  Talk to him about why he doesn't want to go, perhaps he doesn't like the other kids that go.

Answer 10

Are you doing this for daycare purposes or entertainment purposes?  If it is daycare/supervision... just tell him he has to do it.  If it is entertainment, no don't punish him.  It is a choice thing.

Answer 11

If it's an optional program and he chooses not to go, I wouldn't punish him.  He's old enough to know what he wants to do and what he doesn't want to do.  If you really want him to attend, then is it possible for him to attend it at least once to just give it a try?  You can compromise with him...have him go just once (to satisfy you and your husband), but if he still decides he doesn't want to do it afterwards, then that's fine and he doesn't have to...just a suggestion, but I wouldn't punish him for making a decision on something like that.

Answer 12

Why would you punish your child for not wanting to stay after school? I'd be more interested in finding out why he doesn't want to stay after school. It my have nothing to do with the program, so to speak. It could be the people in the program he doesn't want to be around. If you guys share the same spiritual views as the school, then I'd go over the Bible lessons at home so he could find some understanding in what you guys do believe.

Answer 13

Absolutely Not! If he is not comfortable going to these classes anymore then dont make him. Why force your religion on him. He already believes. Dont make him go...

Answer 14

Punish him?  I wouldn't think that would be appropriate.  I think you need to show him that you respect his decision to not participate.

Doesn't warrant a punishment.  He has the right to make that decision on his own.

Answer 15

Well, if you think he should be in some kind of after-school activity but he doesn't want to attend this particular one, why don't you search around a bit for one that he might like better? Art classes, sports programs, whatever. He's old enough to decide what he does and doesn't want to do, but if he's just trying to get out of the program so that he can spend more time playing video games, you should put your foot down and make him do something productive. If he genuinely doesn't like the program, don't make him go.

Answer 16

No, don't punish him. And if he's forced to participate in something he doesn't want to do, he will just grow more resentful. IMO.

Answer 17

First of all I'm a very strong christian and I believe that you can't force God onto a child. If the child doesn't want to particpate and you are not paying money for it than why would you make him go. Also something can be wrong maybe he is getting picked on!

Answer 18

No, you should not punish your child for not wanting to do an extracurricular activity.  That's ridiculous.

Answer 19

I don't see how you can punish a child for not wanting to participate in an EXTRA-curricular activity. Usually these types of things are for children that show a strong interest in whatever it is they are going to participate in, and perhaps something to be taken away as a punishment. If you want there to be bible lessons, why not go all together as a family on Sunday? If you are looking for something for him to do besides play his DS perhaps you, your husband and your son can come to a mutual agreement on what he should do after school.

Answer 20

Before you do anything, why not find out why he doesn't want to go? Is it because he is tired? Finds the classes boring? Doesn't have friends to play with?

If the ultimate goal is to help your child read the bible, then punishing him would only make him more resentful. Why not take him out of bible class and read the bible with him instead? In that way, you get to interact with him more, and the subject becomes more 'real' as you discuss things with him one-on-one.

Iris