Should I reconnect with my ex boyfriend before I leave the state to clear up any hostility?

Question

My X-BF and I, of 3 years, broke up a month a go due to me moving out of the state for a career change. Initially we were on good terms since he supported my decision to leave, but we both felt like it would end up being too hard.

A couple of weeks after the break up, things had gotten bad after I found out he’d been cheating on me for the first 1 1/2 years of the relationship. At that point, I just wanted to cut him out of my life completely. So for the past week I’ve been avoiding all contact with him, but now that I’m scheduled to move in 4 days, I do want a chance to speak with him.

My friends just want me to ignore him for the rest of my life, but I don’t know if I could live with myself leaving on such bad terms. Who knows what may happen to either of us. I just want us both to be clear of any lingering hostility. That doesn’t mean I’m putting him back on speed dial, it’s about me having a clear heart and mind. Is this really the adult thing to do or am I being foolish all over again?

Answer 1

Just move on with your life and close that chapter.  He is an ex and should just be forgotten.

Answer 2

He cheated on you for HALF of your relationship!!! If you waste your time by contacting him.. even if its just to say goodbye... you are being a complete fool. Plus seeing him again is only going to make things harder. Don't do it! You really will regret it. He's obviously a complete looser and has NO place in your future.

Answer 3

If you are that worried about clearing the air of hostility, the only thing that will happen is you will stir up hostility.

Simple. Stop beating a dead horse.

Worry about what you are going to wear for your first day of your new job! Best of luck!

Answer 4

NO, MOVE ON AND BE HAPPY.  

Answer 5

U would not b a complete fool 4 contacting him. If u r contacting him 4 the closure u need, u have every right to do so. I'm sure you've done enough packing 4 your move & u don't need 2 bring along any extra baggage! Express 2 him how u feel (even if u meet him 2 give him a letter detailing your feelings) & get the closure u need. I do agree that the jerk is a loser 4 cheating on u (& for half of the relationship!)!!! Don't waste your time trying 2 find out why (he may just come up w/LAME excuses that may make u have even more bitter feelings). Let him know what a loser he IS, what a good person he lost (because u never know if he could've moved where u r & u guys could've continued your relationship or @ least remained friends), how it made u feel 2 find out what he did, but that u r going 2 b HAPPY. Leave him knowing that he is the loser, not u. Get it all out, take a deep breath & walk away w/a smile. :-)