Should I report possible parental neglect?

Question

My son's friend has come over several times to our house to play and he is usually hungry so I feed him. This has never really caused me any concern because a lot of times 10 year old boys are really hungry just because they are growing.

A couple of weeks ago, I had him over again on a Saturday. I picked him up in the late morning and the mother was going to pick him up before dinner. She didn't come before dinner and I didn't get any phone calls and she didn't answer her phone, so her son stayed and ate with us and continued to play. I kept trying to get in touch with her. Around 11:00pm I got in touch with her and she was at her house and said she was there all day and lost track of time. She was playing a game called wow on the computer (she was playing on the computer when I picked him up in the morning too).

Then this past weekend I had the little boy over again with his siblings. They all played with my kids and were going to stay for dinner. At dinner time they were all very hungry and said that they didn't have any lunch. I don't know the circumstances behind why they didn't have any lunch, but I know they were at their house at lunchtime.

Anyway, I feel that these children are not being properly cared for; however, I don't want to get the parents in trouble over something which could be just me misperceiving the situation. I know that I often get caught up in projects and work and lose track of time (however I never have forgotten my children's needs).

Should I report my feelings to someone, and if so, who do I report this to? Or, should I just come right out and say, "hey, why are your kids alway's hungry?" I have a feeling if I say anything to the mother, she will probably just keep the kids from coming to my house. School is starting soon, so I am happy to know the kids will be fed at lunch.

Other than her children always being hungry when I see them and the mother forgetting her son the 1 time, I don't have any proof of any neglect. The only thing I have is my maternal instinct and a nagging feeling that the situation is not good. Should I just stay out of this, or report my feelings to someone?

Answer 1

Maybe question the kids to determine what is really going on in their house.  They will prolly be honest with you and tell you how often their mother feeds them or why they are always hungry.  Keep conversation light so as not to alarm them that their mother is in trouble.  If she is not feeding her children, then they are being neglected and DSS should be notified.  You can do it through the police or call DSS directly.  You can also ask that it be anonomous.

Answer 2

I wouldn't do anything just yet.  I would keep an eye on the situation until something occurs that gives you that gut wrong feeling.  You will know what it is when it happens.  But you shouldn't jump the gun on this because you will alienate the parent and then if something is going on you won't be able to help the kids.  

Answer 3

You could call CPS, but unless there is obvious neglect (unbathed children, dirty clothes, starving children, filthy house), or abuse chances are that nothing will happen, at least not in Ohio.  

Answer 4

That's a tough situation, I really can't tell you if it's real neglect or just a missunderstanding but it definitely sounds like it could be neglect on the parent's end. I'd suggest talking to the police about it, mabye going down to the station and asking them what steps you should take because you aren't positive. I think in some cases they'll check out the situation and keep your name and location confidential. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, but it's really sweet that you care so I hope everything turns out ok.

Answer 5

Call CPS. Not feeding your child or forgetting to pick them up are both signs of neglect. Who knows how many times this has happened before only you weren't the one to see it. Think of your kids as well. Me being a mother would of called CPS already. Kids come way before a computer.

Answer 6

i think you should report or talk to her.

my brothers play WOW-world of warcraft. they are addicted and dont have time to do anything else. you say she plays this? she is addicted and it takes over their life.

YOu should convince her to quit that or report

Answer 7

I totally agree with you. If that happened to me I would talk to the mother. Because what if she's letting her kids starve? That's totally not good.

Answer 8

You should probally report this to child services or something of that kind. But before you do you need to know what is going on. Confronting the mother immediately may not be one of the best ideas. I have no idea how old these kids are, i might be able to get a better perspective if i did, but maybe you should send your kids to school with a little more then usual lunch (if it's not to much trouble) and tell them to offer some of it to the kids that are usually hungry when they come to your house. The have your kids report back to you on how often they have food for lunch and are hungry. If they are usually hungry or have no lunch, confront the mother, and if their hunger continues, report it to child services or something of that kind. Children are important.

Answer 9

I think I would probably report it to the police non-emergency line or social services, and ask them to do a welfare check on the kids. They check the amount of food in the home, as well as the living conditions. I've found it's best to go with that maternal instinct. Better safe than sorry!!

Answer 10

Go with you gut instinct. Calls are kept on the Q-T so no one will know that it was you that called.. If more people did call when they had suspicions then fewer kids would be being abused mistreated sexually assaulted and even killed.