Should I return this expensive gift!?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating only a couple of months and it just recently started getting more serious. I was going away for a long period and he gave me a gift necklace as he dropped me off at the airport. I thought it was nice and thanked him and really liked it. Now its been a while since I'm gone, and out of curiosity I went to check how much it was. Online (Macy's) I found out it was much more expensive than I initially thought it was! Now I feel bad and awkward. I feel like I can't accept such an expensive gift, but I would feel very embarrassed bringing this up, admitting I looked it up and returning it. What do I do? Can it be the listed price was not the actual price? It was listed as $300.

Answer 1

Take the gift. you would only upset him if you gave it back to him.

Answer 2

It could be that the necklace you saw online is not the same as yours.  Is it made by the same people as the one listed on Macy's online?   It could be one he got somewhere else that just looks really similar.  

If he can afford to spend that much on a necklace, accept it graciously and keep it.

It's kind of rude to be checking out how much gifts you were given cost!

Answer 3

What is expensive to you is not so to someone else. He obviously felt he could afford it so let it go. It sounds to me as if what you're really questioning is whether you should be accepting such a gift from him since you've only been in a relationship a short time. You say that it's getting more serious so a gift like this should be just fine. Maybe your not as serious about him as he is about you.  The time factor does not matter, it's how you think your relationship is progressing. If you think it's moving too fast then slow down before you get into a situation where you may regret not letting him know how you are feeling (like if he comes to you with an engagement ring).  Just make sure you both are on the same page.

Answer 4

Returning it? Are you talking about giving it back to him, or are you talking about sending it to the store for a refund.

"Miss Manners" witty and sensible etiquette books say that, outside of a deeply committed relationship, it shows bad judgment to offer or accept a gift which would be difficult for the recipient to return.  Expensive items, including jewellery falls into this category.

But you did accept the gift, and have had it for a while.  I think that to give it back to him now would be unnecessarily hurtful.

If you're talking about returning it for its cash value, I think that there are no words to describe how TACKY that would be!

I do not think that Macy's has an online wholesale outlet.  We can probably assume that their advertised price is their retail price, but their advertised price may be a discounted "sale" price.

Answer 5

And why, pray tell, can't you accept the gift?  You never should have checked the price in the first place.  Maybe he had a coupon.  lol.  Just accept the gift and say thank you.

Answer 6

He may have gotten it for much less, depending on the source.  For heaven's sakes, he might have gotten it on eBay.  But if you're starting to get more serious, then maybe he just felt like spending a lot of money on you.  I would accept the gift if you feel the gift itself (necklace, not how much it costs) is appropriate.  It's not as though he's an admiring co-worker or anything.

Answer 7

Return the gift only if one of the following is true:

1.  You are breaking up with your boyfriend; or

2.  You want to sabatoge your relationship with him.

Why are you STILL obsessing about the actual price of the gift?  Enough already.  If I were your boyfriend, I would be hurt AND I would wonder if I've made a mistake about you.

Answer 8

You should graciously (even if it makes you feel awkward) accept the gift as a very generous gift. Don't feel like you need to reciprocate with gifts of the same monetary value. It's something he decided to do for you.

If he continues to buy you over the top expensive gifts and your relationship is serious (and open and honest), then and only then would I bring up to him about not needing so many expensive gifts. You could also suggest (in that same conversation) that you're happy just to be with him and even though the gifts are nice, they're not needed. But he will continue to do what he wants with his money.