Should I say something to my dad

Question

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApeWYANuS1MjmnUmgmKNSnfh5gt.;_ylv=3?qid=20080214163113AAxNbRs

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjHMqqNF6pDb13XZC1K4y2Ph5gt.;_ylv=3?qid=20080124140515AAOSU37

the details are contained in those questions but there has been a development, my sister has gotten engaged and has been for 3 weeks, I only just found out last night from my mum, my sister didn't even bother to tell me!

Mum knows, my step mum knows my brothers know but not my dad, my sister and the guy have only been dating about 6 months and she's talking about moving in with the guy in about 6-8 months, my sister says she's going to tell dad in her own time, however if I know my sister that usually means that she's not going to tell him, if I leave it dad's not going to find out till she moves in with the guy which the longer it's left the more hurt and upset dad is going to be that his blessing wasn't asked for and he'll be angry that his wife (our step mum) knew and hasn't said anything either and his ex-wife (mum) was asked for the blessing (not him) and gave it cause she doesn't give a rats a what her children do.

dad had a very traditional religious upbringing he won't be at all pleased I can imagine, so for his own well being should I say something?

Answer 1

Yes.But,give your sister like a week.If she doesnt tell him in a week.YOU tell your dad.And if you tell him,act in a excited way.Like you just found out.So he wont get mad at you for saying its not your place to say anythin...

Answer 2

its ur sister's decision to tell ur father not yours

Answer 3

i think your dad should know and its not fair if nearly the whole family (well like close family) knows but him because surely thats going to make him even more angry and depressed when he finds out from someone else

id give your sister a week to tell him or something like that and tell her that if she wont tell him you will althogh it is her responsibility

Answer 4

It sounds like there is allot going on and well just tell everyone every thing! I know you must love your sister and she probably loves him but she has to see that he may be using her!So just sit her down and talk to her!Make sure she sees that he may be using her!

Hope I helped!

Answer 5

well, Howdy from Texas to start...and now to your question...

It ultimately is up to your sister to inform your dad.  So my first suggestion is to tell your sister to please inform y'alls father.  Clearly, she is hiding something or maybe deep down knows this is wrong b/c if she didn't, everyone would know.  (I just got engaged and have spent the last 4 days calling and emailing anyone I have ever even talked to about it.)  BUT, if she refuses, then I say go ahead and breech the subject with your father.  Try to keep his feelings in mind and maybe start with- she didn't even tell me story (the truth).  Hopefully, you guys can bond over a cold beer and decide what to do next about this situation.  

And remember- your sister may be making what you think is a mistake- but she will always be your one and only sister...and in the end- sometimes you only have each other.

Answer 6

wow.

this is really hard to follow.

but i got it understood.

haha

i think you should call your sister and talk to her about telling your father.

tell her if she doesnt tell him within the next week [or whatever length of time you're willing to give her] you are going to tell him yourself.

if she gets mad at you for it, who cares.

she'll get over it in time.

Answer 7

Your sister is old enough now to make her own bad decisions (and this one is a real doozy). Sadly, I think your dad will not take the news well at all - but he will be even more upset if he thinks you have been supporting your sister and keeping things from him. Frankly, its a reality that he is going to have to made aware of - but its not your position to tell him. Your mother needs to be the one to break it to him. If I were you, I would keep my head down a little till this all blows over.

Answer 8

It's your sister's responsibility to tell your Dad. He deserves to know more than anyone (besides Mom). That is their argument though, and I wouldn't suggest getting in the middle of it. If he blames you say, "It's not me who's engaged, I thought you would want to hear it from her not from me." And if she blames you say, "You told me you'd tell him on your own time. So I figured that you would. Don't put me in the middle of this!"