I'm not sure how to start this.. I'm even scared of telling people on here what I feel.. so, I think I have a fear of intimacy, and, I feel like I'm living in a shell, I don't feel like I'm being true to myself, I feel like I have forgotten some part of me. I can't remember the last time I felt truly happy, or sad, I can't even cry anymore. I've had these feelings for about, 6 months now, I don't remember how I felt before then. I was abused at a very young age, and then my parents stopped when I got older. My father still shouts a lot at me if I do anything wrong, or if he's just in a bad mood he'll be mean to me.. I don't want it to sound like my parents are bad people, they're not. I was never good at making friends as a child, and was left out. I keep everything to myself. And I'm really scared if I should see a psychologist, each time I think about this I get so close to crying. Because I've kept this all to myself, my family and my friends think nothing is wrong, and if I suddenly say I want to see a psychologist, they won't understand.. I'm only 14, and I don't suppose I could see one alone. I don't want to be considered a freak. I just want to feel normal, and be normal. Please can someone just tell me what to do, I'm so confused and I don't want to go on like this.
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