Should I send a gift?

Question

I was invited to a classmate's wedding reception this month. I probably can't attend, and because I've never been to one I don't know the etiquette at all. Should I send a gift along with someone else? We aren't super close, but we've been in a class together for four years so I do consider us friends. I want to send a gift, and there are several things on her registry within my price range, but if that would be weird then I won't. What's the usual way of doing it?

Answer 1

Yeah send a gift! And give them a card with it congradulating them and apologizing for not be able to attend :)

Answer 2

Yes send a gift based on what you said above, you consider the classmate a friend. You might want to send the gift by mail with a card to make sure they receive the gift and it is from you.

Answer 3

As far as "tacky" goes, Patty is super guilty.  First off, you don't give gifts out of "obligation", you give gifts out of friendship.  While her accusations about why you were invited to the reception but not the service could be true, it could also just be that the ceremony is at a very small location and can't hold everyone, or that the actual wedding is on a different day altogether.  It is sad how pessimistic and suspicious some people can be.  

Anyway, to answer your question, send a nice letter ahead of the event sending your regrets that you cannot attend and of course your good wishes.  If she lives close, visit her within the week of the wedding and hand deliver your gift.  If not, send it in the mail to her home address.  Sending it to the reception is just one more thing that has to be hauled back home, and could be broken en route.

Answer 4

I wouldn't send a gift with someone else who is attending. Go to wherever she's registered and buy your gift there. They'll wrap it, attach a card and hold all of the presents until they pick them up.

I think that's a classier way to give the gift.

Answer 5

It would be soooooooooooooooo sweet of you to do so.

It's like saying "I wanted to be here, but I couldn't", so I think that's very nice, especially that you can afford something within the registry list.

I encourage you to send something with someone else you know who's going.

Don't forget to add a card ;)

Answer 6

if you're super nice, send a gift.

technically, if you don't attend an event, you are under no obligation to send anything - this applies for all events.  a card would be nice.

if you're invited to just the reception but not the ceremony, your classmate is trolling for gifts and is committing all sorts of horrible faux pas.  she might as well just send invites to everyone in the yearbook and see what pops.

i bet she included one of those tacky 1.5x1.5 pieces of paper from macy's or target or crate and barrel saying they're registered there, right?

if you still want to send a gift because you really are that nice (and i'm not being sarcastic - i have friends like you who are just really nice people and they make me a better human being for it), send a card and a gift card - why pay $10 for shipping when 42 cents will do?

Answer 7

Your former classmate obviously considers you close enough to invite to wedding reception. If you consider her a friend as well, and if buying a gift in your price range will not be difficult for you, then I would strongly advise you to send a gift.

The simple gesture of wanting to congratulate her big day will be most appricated, I assure you.

Answer 8

If you two live close by to each other, make an effort to stop by her place, apologize for not being able to attend, and give her the gift. It would show her that you are actually keen about her invitation. If you two do not live close by, then mail it to her address and include a note thanking her for the invitation and apologizing for not being able to make it.

Answer 9

i would get a gift, and deliver it personally. explain that you cant make it to the party, but you wish her all the best...bla bla bla....

if you send it w/another person, thats kinda impersonal...but if you dont want to see her, then just send w/another person.