Should I send my Aug b-day daughter to kinder. this fall?

Question

My daugh. has an Aug. b-day & could start kinder this fall-cut-off 8/30. I have struggled w/ this decision for mos. She is bright academ., doing well in presch. She recog. all ABCS & most letter sds, sounds out wds. and recog. some sight wds., counts to 100, etc. She has strong verbal & motor skills.

My ? is whether she is mature enough socially & emotionally for kinder. We adopted her from China at 15 mos. She had catching up to do emotionally when she was younger to feel secure. Socially, my daughter takes time to warm up to new situations & to make friends. She is very small for her age, 5th percent. for ht. While bright academ. she prefers to play w/ stuffed animals, using her imagin. at home. While smart she isn't that mature socially though improvg. I have a choice of a 3/4 day K. w/ a wonderf. tchr. or a prog. for 5 yr.olds who miss the cut-off or have late b-days. also wonderf. tchr. & strong focus on social skills & hands-on learning. Thanks for your Help! Sun T.

Answer 1

To be honest, unless your child is extremely socially withdrawn or has extreme emotional distress with new situations and adapting, I would enroll her. You know her better that anyone else. Is her social skills enough so that she doesn't need to be coddled by the teacher? I would enroll her, expain to her the situation that she is growing an needs to be in school, be there, tell her you will be back for her later in the day and leave. Come back at the same time every day to ensure consistency and trust. Also, you say that the teachers are wonderful? So you feel comforted knowing that she is being taken care of? I think that if are in for some work, some hand holding and a lot of communication between your child and the teacher, then go for it. I fully support this. However, know that it is not an easy journey, it never is, wether you hold her back or not. I personally would put her in with the 5 year olds and watch her grow. Be there for her and she will thrive. Good Luck and I hope that this helps!

Answer 2

yes she needs to go to school if she doesn't this year she will be older than all the kids in her class so yes she should

Answer 3

I had the same problem with my son.  He, also, had a b-day in Aug.  and seemed immature.  It was a difficult decision, but I decided to hold him back for a year.  Today, he is 11, and I have never regretted my decision.  He does well in school and I think that part of his success was being held back.  I had a lot of help with my decision from teachers and the school.  Everyone essentially advised me to wait before enrolling him, and now, I think that they were right!

Answer 4

I have been an early childhood teacher/administrator for 29 years.  I have a son who will be 25 in June and a daughter who will be 20 tomorrow.  I did not send either of my children to kindergarten until they were 6.  Just as your child; they were doing well academically and physically but were a little shy.  I would send all children later if parents are able to do so.  Some people need that extra help and most children do fine.  Both my children graduated from high school at 19 and graduated at the top of their class.  They were mature enough to take off on their own and go to college hours away from home.  My son actually went to a young fives program and did quite well.  You need to go with your heart on this one...sounds like you already know what is best for your child.

Answer 5

i would ask the p-k teachers for advise and maybe the future kinder teacher also. graduating HS at 17 or 18? who cares? you want to make sure she grows up confident and happy,the academic she'll learn either way. the flip side is ,are you doing a disservice to her budding brain by limiting her stimulation. my son is an august child and im facing the same dilemma. good luck.

Answer 6

I am a Head Start Preschool teacher who works with 3,4, and 5 yrs old children.  You are right to wonder about her social and emotional readiness.  In Head Start we stress that to be one of the most important issues when considering Kindergarten readiness.

In Kindergarten children are expected to act and work more independently than in preschool.  Do you think she can handle this?

You want to make school a Happy and fulfilling experience right off the bat.  If your child struggles in the beginning this could set you up for years of battles.

Also remember that children could be in her class that are almost 1 year old.  These children's birthdays could be right after the cut off date.

I have found in my experience of a mother who had 4 children (3 boys and 1 girl), and a preschool teacher for 15 yrs, go with your gut feeling.  YOU are the one who knows your child the best.  If you have any doubts I would strongly recommend the 3/4 day choice.  I would also recommend you visit both classrooms.  You can then make a better judgment first hand what YOU think would be better for your child.

Answer 7

The person best equipped to answer this question is her PK teacher. From what you have said, I would send her on to K. K is for learning to get along and socializing. If she is super bright and you have her start a year later, she will hate school, because it is boring! good luck!!!

Answer 8

Kindergarten is created to help a child grow to be successful in later grades.  It helps children become more social, independent, and emotionally stable.  You shouldn't expect your daughter to be on the same level as the other kids because they are all different.  She will learn from other kids and other kids will learn from her.  Her kindergarten teacher's responsibility is to help her grow and to help her overcome her weaknesses and build her strengths.  You as a mother are suppose to do the same.  It should be a class with a small number of students.  Social maturity improves through contact with individuals of the same age group in your daughters case.  The more she interacts with kids her age the more she will learn and grow.  Her emotional state will also grow.  You may not see results within the first weeks.  This takes time, her skills and abilities will gradually grow.  I think she should start the 3/4 day program this fall, it will be a good experience for her.

Answer 9

If she is slow to warm up socially with other children, then of course you should enroll her! She needs a chance to mingle and socialize with her peers.

If you're worried, then I would suggest the program for 3/4 of the day. At their age, I never agree that children should be in school all day long. They need a break. I think you need to give your child a chance to socialize with children her age. It'll be a learning opportunity, and a slow way of introducing her into school, because eventually she'll have to go full-time. If you don't do it now, putting her in school full-time will be very traumatic.

Best of luck, I know she'll do very well!

Answer 10

I teach first grade, and see this problem so often. Research shows that the "Summer Birthday" children usually catch up and are unrecognizable by second grade. BUT I personally think it is easier on the child to just attend  a K- 5 program, then start school.

If your daughter starts in the Fall, she will likely be with children almost a full year older than her. She'll be expected to act as mature as the others, and at that age that can be very stressful!

Some teachers suggest try it, if it doesn't work repeat it, but is that really fair to your daughter?

Children grow up too fast, give her another year, and she will probably be a great leader for a kindergarten teacher!

Answer 11

It's KINDERGARTEN. It's not Yale, it's pre-first grade. It exists to get kids acclimated to the social world of school. Your child has to find herself socially with her peers, and it's not something you gain from books. Children have to figure out how they fit into a group, what they can and cannot do in that group and dozens of things you cannot directly teach them.

Will she fit in fine? Will she be picked on or shunned? SHE ALONE has to find the answers. This is the same way you learned how to live among Earthlings, friend, and the same way for every generation back to that garden of yore you hear of, Eden they called it.

Why you want to delay a child whom you admit shows skills in pre-school that are laudable I'm not certain, but think about two things.

1. By the end of her high school days will she miss not having been with peers within her age? Having the feeling you were "left back or held back" is sort of a bummer. That extra year of emotional growth can be a big difference sometimes.

2.School is not an incubator. It's an institution to give X hundred kids the social and thinking skills necessary to survive and continue in whatever venue they end up in.

If not now, when? How is itself a learning process and why is to make sure that no matter how they end up ultimately, they arrived independently through what they were taught and by you as well.

Learning does not change. Only the thinking about it.