Should I send thank-you cards to guests who DID NOT give gifts?

Question

Me and my now husband just got married two weeks ago. We along with our parents invited around 500 people to our wedding and received gifts from everyone with the exception of couple of people who did not give gifts. I understand that when hosting a wedding, one should not expect gifts, only the presence of their guests and I feel that way as well. However we are in the process of writing our thank you cards and we want to know if we should send thank you cards to those people who did not give gifts but attended the wedding? My mom says we shouldn't have to send them cards because they are only for people who gifted you with something other than just their presence. I'm not exactly sure if this would be proper etiquette. Anyone else experience the same thing?

Answer 1

You probably don't HAVE to send them TY cards, but it is a mature  gesture to thank them for taking the time to come.  

Answer 2

Yes, you should. Thank them sincerely for being a part of the big day and say that you hope to see them again soon.

Answer 3

no, the custom at babtise, confirmation and weddings are to send cards to those who gave gifts

your the host throwing a party, so they didnt grace you with their presence, they where invited and allowed to come

and they thank you for this with a card of congratulations

if they brougth gifts then you thank them in return for this as they gave you something as well

so party is your gift

they thank you with card

they give you a gift

you thank them with card

your mom is corect

Answer 4

People tend to chat about the wedding afterwards, so I think you should. You wouldn't want someone you know to feel left out because then they might not attend to other occasions. You are actually thanking them for their attendance and support. But if you don't feel like spending money on their thank you card, than don't. But me as a christian, I should invite even those knowing that they wouldn't be able to get us something. It's about having fun together, and the time spent together.

Answer 5

No offence intended but I am with the fist poster. Your mum is being petty. The polite thing to do here is to send them a card saying 'thank you for sharing our special day.' If you don't send them a card then you are being very rude and just as petty as your mother.

Answer 6

Send thank you's to everyone who have shared your special day :)  

Answer 7

Be polite and send it.  

"Thanks for coming to our wedding, we loved seeing you there and hope you enjoyed yourselves as well!"

Besides, they might have had to take time off work or travel or something else to show support at your wedding, and you should acknowledge that.  

It's possible that they sent you something from your registry and the store hasn't called you yet.  (I payed for my cousins wedding gift one month before the day, and the store didn't call her until 3 months after the wedding!)  Though you shouldn't count on this outcome.  

Answer 8

I wouldn't.

Answer 9

I would send them to people if they didnt give us presents.

Answer 10

no you dont have to your mom is right, why should you spend the money to send someone a thank you card just because they attended?? They didnt bother spending any money on buying you a gift.  

Answer 11

Your mom is absolutely right. You do not send thank you cards to people who attended the wedding.

You wined and dined them. You entertained them. They owe *you* a note of thanks. You do not thank people for eating your food and drinking your wine. They thank *you* for providing a meal and showing them a good time. For you to thank them is not proper.

As for people who sent gifts, of course they're thanked - for sending the gift, not for attending the wedding.

Hope this helps.

Answer 12

I once attended a wedding when I was not able to afford a gift.  I was so embarrassedd, and hoped that no one would notice that I didn't bring a gift.  I did give a card with my well wishes, and said I would pray for them (they were from my church) for God to bless their marriage.  I got a thank you note from the Bride thanking me for attending, and saying "a prayer is a very special gift".  I know she meant well, but I was just so totally embarrassed not to have given a gift, that I wish she would have overlooked the whole thing.  I still remember it, and that was over 25 years ago.  

Answer 13

its probably not "proper etiquette" to not send them one, but i didn't give people thank you cards who didn't give me presents.  i don't think they will be expecting them anyways.

Answer 14

Personally, I would send thank you cards to everyone. They took the time to attend your wedding. Anyway, how do you know who brought a gift and who didn't? You would have to compare the list of gifts to the names of the people who attended. Your mom has no idea what etiquette is!

Answer 15

Hi and congratulations on your recent wedding!  Wow!!  500 people....that is huge!

Anyway, good for you for getting right to your thank you notes!  For those who did not give a gift, etiquette would say that you do not need to send them a thank you note.

Now, however, I am of the belief that a "thank you" goes a long way!  They did, as you said, give you a gift of their time and willingness to share your day.  So, if you feel you want to thank them....go right ahead!  I think it is very sweet of you.  You are to be commended for your thoughtfulness.

Answer 16

Send thank you cards to the handful of people who didn't bring a gift.  Thank them for their time in coming to celebrate with you.

Your mom is being rather petty.

Answer 17

I agree with Violet, send them to everyone or don't send them at all!

We didn't send any and never heard about it.

Answer 18

Only send it to those who gave gifts.

Answer 19

You write thank-you notes to everyone who either attended or sent a gift. To do otherwise is rude and impolite.

Did they attend? Did they send you a gift? If the answer to either question is "yes", then write them a thank-you note.

Answer 20

yes, i did. i had about 5 people not give a gift, so i just sent them a thank you card saying something like "thank you for coming to our wedding, it was so great to see you".  

Answer 21

You write Thank-You Notes to Everyone just for their presence of being there! What if no one showed up? You don't no the reason why they didn't bring a gift,so don't hold that against them!

Send them a Thank You Note

Answer 22

no

Answer 23

I would send a generic thank you note for there attending.

If you are so inclined you could send an online card, I don't fancy the idea, but a friend of mine did this for guests who did not bring a gift to her wedding and it worked out just fine.  

Answer 24

you don't send thank you cards for people attending your wedding, your mom knows best,  

Answer 25

if you were a good bride, you talked to everyone at your reception and thanked them for coming....if you didnt do that, then you should send them a note thanking them for coming to your wedding, especially out of town guests....