Should I start buying stuff....?

Question

My boyfriend told me that we are getting married next year. He suprised me with a small promise ring right now, but he said he wanted to save for something bigger ~ (it really doesn't matter to me.) We are not officially engage right now, but since we are heading in that direction, should I start buying small things now or wait until he pops the question?

Answer 1

In my personal situation my fiance and I talked about our wedding plans prior to the engagement.  We did things a little backwards, but we wanted to be married as soon as we could.  If you end up in a situation like that, then I would buy little things here and there to ease the financial burden.  I feel its best to spread things out then have a huge bill and enormous financial responsibility right before the wedding.  It can cause unnecessary stress.  If you dont make any plans for the wedding prior to an official engement then I would wait.  But still at that point start doing little by little at a time.

Answer 2

I would wait, only because your ideas of a wedding will change. Your family will want to be involved and it's easier to plan when it's official. People will ask "oh when is the date?" and "how did he propose?" I know it's exciting but just hold out hun, it'll feel better when it's on the right track, I promise.

Answer 3

wait till it's official

Answer 4

wait, you never know if you will change your mind!  just save for now!

Answer 5

yep

Answer 6

i wud say wait b/c u never kno wut is goona happen in the future.

Answer 7

I'd use this as research time, start thinking about what you like etc, but don't buy anything til you are officially engaged.

Answer 8

You said it yourself - you're not engaged.  So no.

Answer 9

I wouldn't start buying things just yet but maybe start thinking about how you want your wedding to be so you have some sort of idea. That will make it easier for you when it comes time to start buying.

Answer 10

dont buy small stuff yet...even once you are engaged its better to wait until after you have planned the bigger things (ie hall, photog, dj, caterers) then go plan detailed things. Chances are your tastes and wants will change as your planning goes along. THe last thing you want is to pay for things that you later decide not to use.

Answer 11

I would wait. You never know what will happen.

Answer 12

It really is better to wait until your engagement is official.  Most people don't start planning until after they are engaged.  Most family and friends will want to help you with decisions and costs.  It would be much more fun to shop for wedding stuff when you have your ring to show off!

Answer 13

buy him a few gifts and then go to some place special. he will probably propose to you there

Answer 14

Dont waste your time or money buying anything right now. You should be concerned that he only gave you a promise ring as this hints strongly at financial instability (in other words, he cant afford to provide for you). It also indicates that you are both quite young.

Did he tell you that you were getting married or did he ask? Or is the purpose of the promise ring to promise that he will ask you to marry him?

Promise rings are mostly meaningless and have zero value in terms of commitment. While I would suggest taking your promise ring and throw it in the lake, you might be able to get a couple of dollars for it at the pawn shop. Those couple of dollars can be used to buy beer.

If I was a young kid, I would probably give out promise rings to girls (who are always looking to get married for some reason) in order to get them to have hotter s*x with me.

Answer 15

Wait unless it's reallly really cheap and a good sale!

Answer 16

wait! you will change your mind so many times and seasonal styles change and your venue changes and your date changes that alot of the stuff you buy now you may have to buy again later because you went in a different direction...but maby open a savings account with that same money so you have it to spend when he does actually propose!

Answer 17

I think you should wait.  Besides not being officially engaged, if you buy a bunch of stuff before you have a final plan in mind you might wind up wasting a bunch of money.  Try to only buy what you need which may mean waiting until closer to the wedding date so that you're sure that you need it.

Answer 18

wait.

Answer 19

Buying stuff for your wedding? You should start gathering ideas, but don’t buy until you have some firmer plans. You’ll want to know when you’re getting married and where. Those factors will determine what you’ll actually want and need.

Answer 20

Yep wait.  If he wants to marry you the "promise" ring should have been an engagement ring.  To me a promise ring is just a way of stalling.

Answer 21

Wait til you are officially engaged - and have a date set.

Answer 22

definitely wait.  it doesn't make sense to me why, if he really means it, you aren't 'officially' engaged.  you don't need a ring to be engaged.  another thing to think about is that you will need to do some things ahead of time.  if you are wanting to hold your wedding at a specific venue, then you have to schedule waay in advance.  perhaps you should talk to him and find out how serious he is.  set a date and all that.  otherwise do not spend your money.  IF you buy all that stuff, another guy may not want to use it (if this doesn't go the way you've planned) and then you will have wasted your $$.

i am engaged and i don't have a ring.  we are making all the plans and know that we are both serious about it...just haven't been able to afford the bling!

Answer 23

Wait, if you havent even set a date yet there's no need to go buying things.

Answer 24

WAIT.  While I hope it goes well, you just never know.  Don't buy anything until you reach a point where the date is set and the venues are booked.  Otherwise you could find yourself selling it all on ebay.

As harsh as it sounds, Heinsberg above me makes a good point too.  I have known guys who have done very similar things.

Answer 25

I have friends who had most of their wedding and engagement planned out before he proposed (they had already agreed that he would be the one to propose). We ribbed them to no end. However there's nothing really wrong with it, but if you don't need to (i.e. school will take up a lot of time) you oughn't.

Make sure though that he gives you enough time to plan the wedding. I know my church requires a one year lead time for marriage prep.