Should I stay or leave?

Question

I have been married for over 5 years to a man who has a 18 year old. This step.... has never had any respect for me (until something is needed). Because of this, I have asked him several times to send her w/her mother, but his mother/family has such an influence over that decison. This "step" has said she wish i would drop dead, carved in my furniture, threw out my daughter's toy's, books etc., lie, steals & you name it. My husband has NEVER wanted to go to counseling let alone send her. Instead, he just yells at her and she still does it. My relationship with "step" has severed to the point we live in the same house and don't speak. She threaten my 4 year old and slaps her then lies. REMEMBER SHE's 18!!!!!

On top of this all, my husband and I have not been on great terms for 3 years and this tops it off. "Step" has been like this since she's lived w/ us (7 years) and she's just getting worse and he can't see it. I have two battles in "his house". Should I stay and keep hoping or leave?????

Sincerely ~ A million more tears!!!

Answer 1

Se's an adult. Talk to your husband and tell him either she goes or you and his other child go. Tell him you have no problem helping her get on her feet but she can no longer live under the same roof. good luck to you doing this because he may just tell you to go. At least you will know where you stand at that point.  

Answer 2

This is a sad case indeed. But i can fairly tell you that He think he's relationship with his daughter is more important, then you guys marriage. Now if it was me- I would simply confront him ONCE. I would say " babe, you know your daughter is being really mean to me, and you know she's always been this way- I'm not going to let my little girl get slapped by a grown woman - if you can't stop her- I'm calling the police on her"  Then he's going to have to sit there rub his mustache and say HM... Then you go on by saying- I didn't complain when she moved in, but its getting ridiculous and I'm no longer happy to live in my own home- I would hate to take the baby and move back to my mothers."  Okay you can only use this card if you do everything in the house- except pay the bills, because its clear that's he says its 'his house' So in his house, let him take care of ever aspect, or his most prize possession his daughter... do everything. Then pray about it.

Answer 3

stay and don't hope but know it will be okay; there is no 18 year old girl on this Earth that has respect for their mom, let alone their stepmom; human beings' brains aren't fully developed until they are 25; until then, the world revolves only around them.....she doesn't mean anything she says, it's all a test to see if you are woman enough to hang in there....and you are and you can......godspeed

Answer 4

Doesn't he have problems with the way his 18 year old treats his 4 year old? It sounds like you have no choice but to issue the ultimatum, you or her, or counselling. Choosing between a wife and a child would be close to impossible, I would think. If you can take your daughter off on a visit to grandma's while he thinks about it, it's probably a good idea.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Take yr 4 yr old, and get the h**l out. Not now, but right now. Why stay? Obviously, he isnt father of the year, anyways - and he is not doing anything to cherish you, or the family he created before you, or with you. You can do better alone. I do every day.  

Answer 6

wow...