Should I stay or should I go.?

Question

I'm a 34 year old male in a 6 year relationship in which my wife and have been married for 3 of those years. When we were dating we always talked about having children and even agreed on having 2 kids once we were married and established. Here we are entering our 3rd year of marriage and my wife is now unsure if she wants children. At this time shes unable to give me a time frame to work with or any glimmer of hope that someday we might have a family. I can't help but feel miss lead and kind of betrayed. Already my resentment is building every time we try to talk about it. Also, she suffers from anxiety attacks. Which I knew about when we met and also knew she was at the time on Paxil. Last winter she weined herself off Paxil so that we could try for a child. Unfortunately after getting pregnant she miss carried 2 days after we discovered she was pregnant. This event brought to light just how bad her anxiety was. She explained her 2 days of pregnancy as "A two day panic attack"

Which brings me to the present day. She's back on paxil (numerous FDA warnings about it) and now doesn't know if she wants to have kids. I've tried talking to her in numours ways but we end up at the same roadblocks. I don't know what else to do... Stay and hope she comes around or start my life over.

Answer 1

stay if you love her enough and wait until she decides she wants a family with you.

Answer 2

Wow....what a tough situation. It's sad that she mislead you to believe she wanted children, and now is backing out. Maybe she did want children but not anymore, but that doesnt help anything. At this point, i'm sure she knows in her mind wheter she wants children or not, she may just have a hard time telling you. Demand the truth, and if it's not what you want to hear, move on. Don't let her hold you back from your dreams of having a father.

Answer 3

Oooh. This is a toughie.

Sit down and have a serious talk with her. Explain to her how important it is for you that you want to have children. If that doesn't work, try counseling.

It does sound like she's going through some stuff but it sounds more like to me that she does not want to have children, seeing that she described her 2 days of pregnancy as a "panic attack."

I have married friends going through the same thing. He wants kids, she doesn't. It's been looming for about a year now and he says it's a dealbreaker for him.

I have a feeling if you cannot reach an agreement or come to a resolution, it may be a dealbreaker for you.

Answer 4

Love lasts when there is sacrifice, but on both parts. You need to understand just how tormenting it is on a woman to have a miss carriage when all her life she been planning to have a baby. Not to mention all the emotions being on meds. can cause. I wouldn't suggest leaving her unless not having children makes you not love her, if that's the case then you never really did anyway, love shouldn't be based on ifs, because it sounds like "if" she wanted a baby you wouldn't even think about leaving. be honest with her, tell her you feel betrayed, hurt and confused, but be sensitive to her, morn the loss of the baby with her, don't get frustrated at her emotions towards the baby lost, the baby wanted, and the anxiety she suffers from. You need to be her rock, perhaps y'all should find someone to talk to about this together.

Answer 5

Well there is always adoption, lots of kids need a home.

This would save your wife the anxiety and hormonal changes, that would probably make her worse, and also not pass her genetic disadvantages to a child. It might be an option for you, and help some kids out, too.