Should I stop my son from seeing his dad?

Question

My 13 yr old son's dad comes around about 2-3 times a year and sees him maybe for a few weeks if that and he's gone again. My son doesn't understand how can I explain this to him? I don't want to hurt him like his father does. I have full custody too.He is like trying to call him all day and no answer sometimes. It's very frustrating. I just want to tell his dad to leave us alone he's doing more damage unless he's committed.

Answer 1

your son is old enough to know what is really going on. if you have some answers as to why his dad is like this, let him know and let him make the decision to cut dad out of his life.

Answer 2

Tell him that unless he can commit to being a father, you would prefer he not come around.  Your son is at an age where he needs a positive male influence, and you shouldn't have to make up excuses for why his dad is not the father he wants him to be.  Tell your son the truth, some men are not meant to be father's and someday his father will pay for the lack of attention he gives your son.  Hopefully he has some positive male influences in his life.  

Answer 3

Not seeing his dad ever will do damage as well.

Talk with the dad about staying in contact with his son and let him know how your son feels.

Answer 4

Better not to do that. it is hurtful.That what happened to me. I saw my dad only couple times in a few years. I was missing him a lot...But when i grew up just enough to understand that my dad is not so interested in me like i interested in him i stop looking for meeting with him at all.

I think it will be better to let a kid make his own decision. It is gonna prevent you in a futur from your son's blames that you didn't let them see each other.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Your son seems old enough that you can explain the situation to him in a calm manner, and leave it up to him if he wants to keep trying to forge a relationship with him but be honest with him and explain the pros and cons and the possibility of being rejected by his natural father.

Answer 6

I don't think you should stop your son from seeing his dad.  I think you need to talk to his dad and tell him he needs to be more involved in his kids life, and if he doesn't want to be, he needs to explain that to his child.  If you explain it to your son or stop him from seeing his father, he might end up resenting you, not his dad.

Answer 7

Hi,

This is a difficult situation.

You can't really explain to a kid that his dad doesn't have time to spend with his kids. If possible tell your ex that his son is trying to contact him but that it fails every time which makes your son very sad.

Unless your ex is taking responsibility I don't see any real solution for it. Even when you ask your ex not to have any contact with your son anymore, your son will keep asking why his dad doesn't come and visit him. In time he will be able to understand the situation, for now let it be. Take Care.

-R.