Should I stop talking to her?

Question

Hello,

I broke up with my fiance about a week and half ago, but I left the house about a month ago. She was asking me to go back with her for almost three weeks but I never made a decision on it, we had so manny issues. About a week and a half ago she gave me a whole plan on what to do to make things to work. Her biggest problems is trust but she claimed she loves me with all her heart. I didn't agreed at first with everything she propose so i took another day to think things. The next day I finally I agreed to work things out. She immediately flipped on me and said that she doesn't think that we can work it out any more, I guess the rejection got me shocked and started to try to get her back. She has told me several times that is not going to work. She even accused me of being with my friend of years, who she couldnt let go for the longest time, so I emailed the both of them and put all the cards in the table to proof that I wasn't doing anything wrong. She still doesn't believe me or her! so now I don't know what to do?? she told me to leave her alone earlier and I did but after she emailed that, she emailed me twice more tell me that she tried to end things nicely but she didn't like the way I acted? I don't know what to do with her? two weeks ago she want it to work it out and now she doesn't?? HELP??

Answer 1

Alot of times girls like being rejected... I'm telling you this from experience.... but if she already told you that she wants nothing then just cut her off... ignore her.. don't email her / call her... let her go, if she's urs she'll come to you, if not then it wasn't meant to be... either that or she just found someone else.. .. just being honest... good luck and stop sweating her...  

Answer 2

She is obviousely confused and so are you! I say, before youmake any rash decisions, at least give yoruself some ALONE time to look back and decide if the past makes it even worthwhile to go back and try. Honestly, she sounds like she's a control freak, and she enjoys controlling you and your actions. DON'T LET HER DO THAT! Just break away, and see if time will heal yoru wounds OR if time will lead you down another path. Regardless of your situation, I would personally never get back with someone untill they get their issues resolved..and your ex-fiance has got some MAJOR Mental issues!

Answer 3

tags:

ignore her ........ dump her..........move on..............let her go to h**l.................ur better than this................... u don't deserve this.........& that's it =)

Answer 4

You should let this one go and move on with your life.  She obviously has issues that she needs to work out on her own.  If you don't have trust in your relationship then you might as well forget it.  It just won't work and you will be miserable.  FGind someone you really connect with that you can have something with.  Tell her to stop playing games and leave you alone.

Answer 5

Here's my 2 cents.

First of all, yes you should stop talking to her.  You shouldn't have to go through that much effort to disprove an outlandish accusation that you were with her friend, just to have her reject any explanation you might give.  She not only doesn't trust you, she doesn't respect you at all, so you need to get out because the foundation of every relationship should must include trust and respect - neither of which you have.  She doesn't really love you or she wouldn't treat you like this.

A theory is out there that people become suspicious of others when they are guilty themselves.  I'm not saying she's cheated on you, but that's one theory as to why she accuses you.

She just doesn't know what she wants which is why she keeps flip-flopping.  People want what they can't have, so when you're not there, she wants you back.  So it's no wonder that when she gets you, she just decides pushes you away again.  

To be frank, this relationship has UNHEALTHY written all over it, and you need to get out.  It's obvious that she's wearing the pants in your relationship, and you're really just acting like a tool.  Don't let her call the shots.  Be proactive, not reactive.  In other words, don't let everything that she does determine what you do.  Stand up for yourself bro.  Don't let her toy with you.

This is way easier said than done, of course, because it's hard to break the emotional attachement you have to her.  But you need to just suck it up and do it.  Go out with your boys or go out with another girl (after you break it off) or do something else to distract your mind and your emotions.  

Call her up and tell her it's off, then DON'T LET HER SWEET TALK YOU BACK INTO THE RELATIONSHIP!!!  She doesn't love you so don't believe it.  Say what you have to say, then get off the phone and don't talk to her.  

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

not to sound mean but....she has problems she needs to work out before she even THINKS about getting married!

I would just leave her be, sounds to stressful to deal with!

If u love her still and don't want to let her go, try couples counseling.

good luck!! ;)  

Answer 7

She really confused. Unfortuanately when someone has trust issues you can try all you want but if they dont believe you after you put hard proof in front of them then theres not much you can do except step back and let you both take a breather.

My fiance and me have been going through the same thing, he is super scared Im going to leave him and does not trust me. I have never gave him a reason not to and he still dosent. I had to re assure him everyday and I got sick of it because I knew I was being loyal and he was just scared. So yesterday I sat him down and told him I love you but if you cant learn to accept that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and love and would never want to cheat on you then we cant be together. Without trust there is no relationship.

I would tell her if she cant trust you and know in her heart that you love her and would never hurt her then you shouldnt be together. And then take some time apart, unfortunately its something they have to decide on there own if they can get over there trust issues and just relax. Good luck! I know how it is, im going through the same thing!

Answer 8

I know what is like to have a relationship end. I don't know how old you are but it seems to me like you aren't ready for this type of relationship at this time.  Communication seems to be the problem.  From what you have stated, it seems like she's not as willing to communicate with you.  Do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to constantly put in 100% and she puts in nothing.  You said it yourself she gave YOU a plan on what to do to make things work.  You also said her issue is trust..have you two previously had an issue where you cheated?  Trust is a given in a relationships and if you don't have that from the beginning how are you ever supposed to get it.  I trust my bf until he gives me a reason not to trust him.  I think you two need some time apart, give it a few months, put your focus on school or work.  If she's right for you then waiting a few months for both of you to clear your heads won't matter.  Life's too short to spend the majority of your time fighting or being upset.

Answer 9

since you originally were the one who didn't want to be with HER anymore, & now she's flippin the script.. let it be. do you & let her do her.. let things go on from there.

Answer 10

she's done with u... if she doesn't trust u even if she loves u with all her heart but doesnt' trust her that's gonna be a biiiig problem in ur marriage if u two get married.  I think u should just let her go.  There r a lot of better girls then her, trust me.

Answer 11

I would stop talking to her all together. It sounds to me like she has a lot of issues. It sounds like she has trust issues with your friend and she is insecure in the relationship. You should not stop talking to your friend for her nor should you have to prove anything to her that you guys do.  

Answer 12

It's simple what she's doing and there's an easy alternative. She was sick of being the one begging she knew if she waited long enough for u to say yes she would say no, she also knew that u would beg. So.... just stop begging. Soon she will beg, you say yes, and live happily ever after.

Hope I helped.