Should I support the school even if I am unsure of the decision?

Question

We (single mom and kids) moved from Ohio to Mississippi in April and my kids are adjusting to their schools well, although I don't like the year-round schooling we have in my district. To the point, my 8th grade daughter, who is a great kid (honors student etc), knowingly and intentionally helped a friend cheat. She was, I am sure, just trying to make a new friend--this is way out of character for her. That said, the behavior is obviously very wrong. The school sent home a paddling consent form. I did not even realize Mississippi still paddled. I am not necesarily anti-spanking, but it certainly was never the first resort in our house, and I never really thought about it at school (thought it was illegal). On the other hand, apparently my daughter did know that the clear penalty for cheating is licks, and I am a big believer in follow through, and of supporting the school. I don't know what to do. She is a good kid, but I don't want her to think that gets her around rules.

Answer 1

Paddling in schools? How archaic.

I'm not necessarily anti-spanking either, but it was never my mom's first resort. I'm sure they don't do it really hard, just a hard tap for humiliation's sake (if it is like "go cut grampa a switch, sonny! *CRACK*", I would take issue with it). However, since your daughter was aware of the penalty, I suggest following through with it. I wouldn't want her to think she can get around rules, especially when she's trying so hard to make new friends. It could lead to her breaking more serious rules in an effort to impress someone =/

Answer 2

I do NOT think you should let the school spank your child! I do occasionally spank my children, but would NEVER allow the school to do it. No one has ever spanked my children except me or my husband, I have given only my mom permission but she hasnt. I know for a fact she would not do it too hard. You dont know how hard they will spank her.

Just ground her at home. just because they still spank doesn't mean you have to sign the form. I do not think you should let them

Answer 3

that is beyond insane, why would you even consider letting someone else take a hand or a paddle to your child?

Answer 4

I don't believe that anyone should have the right to spank or paddle my child but my husband or myself. I do give consent to my parents (or his of course) but I don't believe it right that a school should do so. I did not give consent to our children's schools to paddle. They may punish in any other acceptable means, but if there is an offense that it is necessary to paddle them.. then I expect to be called and I'll take care of that myself. I think that you should speak to the school administration about how you feel before signing (or not signing) the consent. I think you should find out who would be giving the paddling, who has the right do that (with your consent), etc. And talk it over with them first. And if you don't believe that your daughter deserves this type of punishment for a first offense (especially if this is VERY out of character for her) then tell them.

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 5

I would suggest that if you are not comfortable with a school administered paddling that you come up with an alternative punishment for the school to carry out, such as detention.  If the school will not allow it, I *might* (big might) allow them to carry out the paddling if I was present and under those conditions only.  But it's highly unlikely that I would consent to the school giving either of my children a paddling.  I believe that to be the right of the parents only.

I can see where you are coming from.  An 8th grader who knew the consequences for her actions yet chose to break the rules anyhow does need to know that she will not get around the consequences.  But on the other hand you have your view of spanking not being the first rate punishment in your home.  I too am a big believer in following through with the rules and the penalties for breaking the rules.  Try to come up with an acceptable alternative first.  That would be the best thing.

-Add-

Got your message....you're welcome :)  I do my best to help!

Answer 6

On the one hand I don't believe that spanking a 13 year old is worth the trouble.  But on the other hand she knew what she was getting herself into.  I think she needs to be taught a lesson and you need to be there to witness the entire ordeal.  And DO NOT feel sorry for her when its over, she needs to see the disappointment in your face.  As bad as it may sound she took control from you and put it in the hands of the school.  If you go soft on this one, can you imagine what kind of mess you will have on your hands in the future.  And check out these kids who she is helping to cheat, probably no good.  What would you have done if this paddle was not an option?Good luck.

Answer 7

There is a consent for a reason that means not every parent is part of this.  I a bliever  in spanking but if I do the spanking I don't want the school to do it. They can suspend her, make her fail that test and a myriad of other things.

Answer 8

We have recently moved from a district that practices corporal punishment into a district that does not, the district that does paddle the kids offered a form at the beginning of the year that gave us the option to give the go-ahead to the school to go forward with a paddling if they decided that it was appropriate, to call me before they paddled the child, or to absolutely NOT paddle my child regardless. I chose to not allow the school to paddle my child for the simple reason that I had no idea who would be doing the paddling, what the school considered bad enough behavior to mandate a paddling, and the thought of someone else putting their hand on my kid like that put me off. I believe that in the public school system there should be plenty of other options just as agonizing to the child other than spanking them. Another thing, maybe they should give you the option to choose the punishment best suited for your daughter, you obviously know what would be the best and most effective punishment for her. Who are they to say that a paddling is the answer?

Answer 9

No way would I let the school spank her.  I don't like spanking, but if you really think you need to enforce their consequences then I think you should do the spanking yourself.  Otherwise I would go to the school and find out what they have for alternative punishments.

Answer 10

not in this life time.she's your kid, your responsibility.

good lord.

Answer 11

h**l no!

Answer 12

I'm not anit-spanking, either... but I would not allow anyone other than me, dad, or possibly his parents spank my boys.  

I wouldn't support the school on this one.  I also don't think year-round schooling is good.  Kids need a summer break.

Answer 13

That is insane- I would complain.  I am a parent that believed in spanking only as a last resort, when my child continued to disobey me- however to have a teacher paddle your child, for helping a child cheat-  over and beyond what should be aloud. I don't think corporal punishment should happen in schools at all. How can you support this at your child's school?

Answer 14

I don't believe in spanking at all, but everyone is different, but if my kid needed a spanking, the school sure as h**l wouldn't be the one doing it.

I wouldn't let the school do it, but if you think that should be the punishment you should do it.

Answer 15

Given your rules and grounds at home that you live by...I would not sign the consent, but let them know you will handle it at home. And then make sure you do. It is perfectly ok to not want someone else spanking your child. Good luck