Should I take my ten children out for dinner?

Question

I would say 12, but Korey and Matt aren't really children. (19 and 25) and Matt would pay for himself.

The thing is, I told Joanna (it's her birthday tomorrow) that I would take the family out for dinner for her birthday. But after that, her behaviour was... not up to standard. Arguing with her brothers and sisters, not doing her homework... anyway. I told her I wouldn't take her out to dinner as a consequence. Since, her behaviour has dramatically improved. Should I stick to my word, or should I reward her better behaviour?

Answer 1

I would not take her out. She needs to learn that you are not a soft touch.

Saying that, only do this if you gave her a warning about stopping her behavior or she won't go to dinner.

If you didn't warn her, then you'll have to take her anyway.  

Answer 2

if u wana its not up to us but if it where up to me i wood say if her b haviour has improved yes?

Answer 3

see if she is good before you go out to dinner,and if she is good go out to dinner,but if she isn't don't go out,and when she asks why you aren't taking them out tell her that 'i told you i wasn't taking you when you was naughty' or something like that.

Answer 4

I would not take her out, but maybe order pizza instead.  I would try to stick to your word as much as possible.

Answer 5

take her out, it's her birthday.

Answer 6

I'm afraid that you are the one that is going to have to do the appologizing this time. I'd tell her that you were so unhappy with her behavior after you had promised her a dinner out  that you actually lost your temper and gave her an unfair consequence. You now realize that a birthday dinner is a very special thing and you probably shouldn't have used that as a consequence for bad behavior. Tell her that you always try to be consistant and to remember that you will continue to do so, but this time you think the punishment was too severe. Ask her for an apology for her bad behavior as well, and then kiss and make up over an enjoyable dinner with your entire family! Happy Birthday to your lilttle one!!! You're a good Mommy to be so concerned with doing the right thing.

Answer 7

Kids will be kids! She understands the consequence if she continues to act up, and she sounds like she is being good now. You can't hold a grudge over her, and it's her birthday! I say take them out. :D

Answer 8

you're a mother so you have to consider the feeling of your daughter having a birthday. that behavior could have influenced by something, so try not to ruin the celebration. in fact, you are the one who brought her into this world. if you won't bring her to the dinner, what's the purpose of the celebration without the celebrant. punishing her that matter is not a good way, instead, you could bring up the topic again while your having dinner in a calm and nice way. advice or tell her that she has to grow up more and behave like a good citizen in order not to be embarassed, etc, etc....after all, she will realize that you're a good mother too towards her.

Answer 9

Are you the family that I saw on the news with 10 kids? Wow, this world is just so small. Hi I'm all the way from Singapore~

And by the way, you shouldn't be so strict with your child. Maybe Joanna's thinking that it's gonna be her birthday, so you should play along, and treat her like a princess for a day?

Answer 10

Take her out to dinner.  Its her birthday and just find another consequence if her behavior doesn't improve that much.  I'm so lucky that my parents never punished me that bad.  If I misbehaved a day before my B-day, they still celebrated it and they still gave me my Christmas if I was misbahaving. but I still got lectured when I did something wrong and gave me other consequences like taking my favorite shirt for a month or no TV till I was done with my homework.

Answer 11

stick with what you said. If you are going to give a punishment then follow through. All she will learn is that when she gets punished then all she has to do is be nice and the punishment goes away

Answer 12

Sence she is trying to improve I would make and exception and example of her to the rest of the kids.

Answer 13

no she was only started behaving because you said you werent gonna take her out to dinner, she need to learn that you mean business or shes gonna continue to behave badly.