Should I tell family when I go into labour?

Question

I don't have the closest relationship with my parents and my mother is offended that I do not want to tell her (or any other family members when I go into labour).

They live very close by and they both work at the hospital. I will have my husband with me and will call them as soon as our baby is born, but do not want to announce when I am in labour. Am I being unfair?

Answer 1

love u should tell them cause the baby has nothing to do with your problems and is more important  than anything. what ever u have against each other must not affect that precious gift

Answer 2

Bit weird. Not unfair...just odd and secretive? Why dont you want to tell them? It is not practical as they ought to know because if something bad happened to you...God forbid...then they would be very shocked as they would not even know you had gone in.

Answer 3

Definitely tell your parents. They don't have to have be involved at the hospital, but they should know their grandchild is about to be born.

When you have had the baby, you will understand how important your child is to you, and you will know then that in years to come, you would be upset if you didn't get to know she/he was about to become a parent!

Answer 4

Hi, I was the same and didn't want to tell anyone when I was in labour because I didn't want people to worry if it was taking too long or calling my partner to ask how things were going or asking if I had the baby yet in case it was a false alarm. In the end, I ended up arriving at the hospital  2h30 before baby was born as I was in total denial;I didn't think I was in labour!!!

Do what feels right for YOU. I know it's their grandchild but they had their 'moment' when they had you. You won't be able to live that moment ever again so get it right for yourself now! Even if they get upset, as soon as they'll meet the baby, they'll forget how upset they are!

Good luck and congratulations

Answer 5

just go round and suprise them with a new baby

why wouldent you tell them !!

my niece announced it on facebook for us all to see from different parts of the world it was cool

Answer 6

No, you are not being unfair.  This is a special time for you and your husband, and you will be more comfortable without constant company-especially if you are not close with them.

I have had three children and thankfully managed to keep the visitors away for the most part during my labors with all of them.  I am so thankful for that!  I really think that I would have been a lot more stressed and uncomfortable with them there.  Rather, I know I would have been.

Prayerfully, you will go into labor during the night.  That is how it happened with my first-it was so late and things happened so fast, there was not time to call anyone.  Anyway, even if they find out if you tell the doctor and/or nurses your wishes, they will keep them away and make it sound like it is the doctor's/nurses' wishes rather than your own, to ease you of that anxiety.

I wish you the best!

Answer 7

Yes i'm afraid you are being unfair. They aren't asking to  there for the birth, they just want to know when things are happening. Just make sure they know you only want it to be the 2 of you, and let the hospital know you have very enthusiastic family (as they're bound to call, etc). Just drop them a call or a text when youre on your way to hospital, saying something like "waters have broken, off to hospital, will keep you updated".

Answer 8

My best friend felt the same way about telling people that she was in labour. She ended up telling me and her family was in labour, but told everyone to please stay home until she told them it was alright to go to the hospital. Needless to say I was the only one who listened and her whole family sat in the waiting room for hours. I was the only one who got to see her because she told me when to come and by that point everyone else had already left. Do what YOU feel is right and just remember if you don't wan them there they can't see you anyway. GOOD LUCK .. and congrats on your new baby!

Answer 9

i think your being very unfair at this very special time.it may well be your child but it is also their grandchild.it's times like these that bring family together.think how hurt they would be.sorry if this sounds harsh but i have just found out my friend has lost his mum.think very carefully you don't know what could happen next.

Answer 10

I had the same problem.  I found it hyporitical that I didn't have that close a relationship with my dad and his partner, yet they wanted to know the second i was in labour.  But in the end i did tell them, simply because I was so excited!  And aside from them ringing every half an hour to see how far along I was (which was many times, considering it was a 31 hour labour!!) I'm glad i told them.  You may not have a close relationship, but it's such a special time, why not share it with everyone, rather than worrying about bumping into them at the hospital?  Just politely tell them you don't want them there, but have your husband keep them updated with what's happening.  Good luck, and congratulations!

Answer 11

Depends what your reasons for not wanting them there are, I cannot comment on the relationship you have with your parents. They have obviously done something to upset you and I'm sure that you have a very valid reason for keeping them at a distance, surely they will understand that this was inevitable under the circumstances. Perhaps you could agree to let them know if they promise not to get involved in the birth?

Answer 12

It's your baby and your business. If you don't want family hovering over you at the hospital, that's understandable and you have every right to say that it's you and your hubby only. Your mother is going to be offended though...that's to be expected because she had her own expectations for the birth of her grandchild. Still, you do what YOU feel comfortable doing. It is your decision. She will get over it.