Should I tell him or should I just keep my mouth shut?

Question

I really like this guy from work. We have connected on a really deep level. Things are not based on physical attraction. The problem is he has a girlfriend. I respect that but I hate having to hide my feelings. It is the only thing I haven’t been honest about, even though it’s never come up in conversation. Do I keep hiding it or tell him?

Answer 1

Let him do you on the side!

Answer 2

Don't tell him, and you need to move on.  

If you were involved would you want a woman coming up to your guy and sharing that?  Then don't do it, and he may lose all respect for you too, and you still have to see him at work every day.

Answer 3

Just keep your mouth shut.

Answer 4

well first of all do u know girl code? how would u feel if someone was flirting with ur man... i would keep my distance until he is single... if he was with her its for a reason

Answer 5

What I do when I like a guy who has a girlfriend is to not say anything. Nothing will change once you tell the guy how you feel (unless he wants to cheat on his girlfriend with you).

I say hide it. Or rather, forget about him altogether.

Answer 6

If things are rocky with his gf i would tell him, he could be waiting for you to say something before he leaves his gf. I found out the hard way my husband now i met 4 years ago and he had a younger immature gf. He and i both grew strong feelings for one another and never said anything. We stopped talking for 2 years and when we saw each other again, we ended up dating, then got married and now have a beautiful son. but we would have save 2 years of heart ache if we would have said how we felt.

Answer 7

If he is on a relationship is cos he loves that girl Hide it if you dont wanna loose friendship with him, it might be hard but you have to respect it.

Answer 8

It is jealousy. Who is not jealous under such circumstance?

But, if you want to keep him as friend, you have to take him as he is. There is nothing to get jealous, as you are not his legally wedded wife.

In this type of temporary relations, anything will happen and is possible. You have no right to comment on that. You are also at fault because even after knowing he has a girl friend, you have continued your friendship/relationship? I will tell you, keep yourself away from him or take him as he is. The other g/f of him also thinks in the same way as you do. Have you thought about this? A single palm cannot clap.

Answer 9

Knowing his situation and when you tell what is in your mind towards him will be an issues. Better keep it with you. As it's office romance or crush don't tell it. Will be a problem in office. Later you may regret after telling. Then it's too late. " Remember speech is silver silence is golden "  

Answer 10

Hide it until he is available.  It is very very very uncomfortable to have someone tell you they have feelings for you when you are in a relationship with someone else.  It would make things awkward.  If he starts to talk bad about his girlfriend you can encourage them to break up or something, but dont make it awkward right now.

Answer 11

Don't tell him. Either that or tell him and have him stop talking to you.

Answer 12

well i like this guy and i didnt know if he felt the same but at my party his ex girlfriend tryed to make a move on him, but he rejected her and came to me we ended up hooking up and doing "other things" but then after it i told him that i like him a little ever since then its been awkward i dont no if its because we hooked up or cos i told him, but i thought maybe he felt the same cos we hooked up but then he didnt talk to me much after it, so unless this guy is the one for you and you really want something to happen then maybe you should wait a little while  

Answer 13

I would let it slip into conversation somewhere while he is being particularly charming "... well if you didn't have a girlfriend..." and walk away. That way you just open the door a little for him to think about what is on the other side without adding alot of emotional unloading or insinuation that he SHOULD be with you. Its a no fault little tease. If he and his girl are solid he will laugh it off and put it on the back burner to remember IF they ever do part ways. On the other hand, if things are not so hot and he considers you a much better match it will let him consider this and take some time to slow things down with his current lady.

Answer 14

I would inquire how is relationship is going with his girlfriend before I divulged my feelings for someone. Depending on the status of that relationship would determine how I proceed. Obviously if he is very involved I would move on without disclosing my deep feelings and leaving myself vulnerable, however, if  you feel there is room in his life for you then you may want to pursue that further.

Answer 15

You need to tell someone but not him. Tell a friend because you sound like you need to get it out. Try to move on I know he's at work its hard just try coz you cant have him if hes taken.

Lara xx

Answer 16

If you keep hiding it, there is a chance he will eventually break up with her and you can make your move. If you tell him there is a chance it could ruin your friendship and potential relationship. He will feel awkward and not know how to act around you. Therefore it is probably best to wait for now.

If you eventually decide to tell him you must respect the relationship he is in. Tell him you have strong feelings for him and you wanted to let him know because it was driving you crazy. You also completely understand and respect that he is in a relationship. You do not expect him to break up with his girlfriend or have the same feelings for you. This is risky, but it could end up paying off if he feels the same way about you.