Should I tell him that I'm pregnant?

Question

My boyfriend and I have only been together for four months. When we first got together I was quite smitten, but in the last month I've been noticing some not so good things about him. He has a five year old daughter, that his mother and sister practically raise, he lives with his sister and her three kids, he's had several opportunities to get a car and yet I'm still getting him to and from work.

I'm six weeks pregnant, and I was planning on breaking things off with him before I found out that I am pregnant. I'm still planning on breaking up with him, but I'm torn on whether I should tell him about the baby. It's not that I don't want my child to have a father, but he's not being a very good father to his own daughter, whose mother could care less about her, and he never seems to have the time or patience to help her develop. I don't know what to do. I just need some advice.

I don't care for his family's methods of childrearing. They rarely bathe their children, are often just yelling at them, they don't encourage them to read or do anything educational. I'm worried that if we break up and he knows about the baby he'll try to get full custody and I'm scared of how that will harm the baby. I know that even if he has partial custody the baby would be with his sister or mom, neither of whom have the time or patience for children in general, much less a young baby.

Answer 1

i wouldnt tell him usually id say tell him but you seem wayyy better off, i hope the best for the two of you!

Answer 2

if i were you i don't think that i would tell him that you are pregnant it maybe hard for you to take care of everything like with the baby coming and everything but if you want you could breakup with him and leave him alone and also you could find someone who will care for that little baby on the way and also care for you,

Hope so much for you

Madison

P.s if you need anything i will help you.

you may e-mail me at

[e-mail]

Answer 3

Read what you wrote. You know they best thing is to keep your baby safe and well cared for And it won't be with them. I think he has Proven how irresponsible he is and I'd leave- period.

Just an FYI. I was in a very similar situation and he knew when I left  that I was pregnant, he harassed me for a very long  time. I put unknown on the birth certificate.  He would never spend the money for a paternity test.  It was hard, but we moved across the country and are safe.  I received no child support, but we were ok, He has children with the ex that he didn't support, so I just took off. It was well worth not having to deal with him and his family.

Good luck, do what your heart tells you, and what you feel is best for yourself and baby.

Answer 4

you have to tell him about the baby and as long as he cant proof your an unfit mother you have nothing to worry about in reference to losing your child

Answer 5

Yikes! Talk about a "sticky" situation... I cant help but wondering how it took you so long to realize these things... Four months? Well, some would say "you made your bed"... No offense meant there.  No matter what decision you make you're gonna mother his child with or without him....

Answer 6

Unless you want to be tied to this man for the next 18 years, I wouldn't tell him.  Break things off and let him find out when your child is old enough to go looking for him. Do you want his mother and sister to raise YOUR child?  Remember, every other weekend someone else will have your child if he knows about it.  Think long and hard before you put his name on the birth certificate.

Answer 7

i would not usually say this but dont tell him sounds like you'll be better off and so will your baby but break it off really soon before he get a chance to notice whats going on