Should I tell my crazy ex boyfriend that I'm having a baby?

Question

I got pregnant about a month before we broke up. He isn't a horrible person but he does have anger management issues and we don't share the same ideas about anything. He thinks his religion and his ways are the only way and I, of course, disagree. I could use the help financially but am afraid he will use his paternal rights and influence the child negatively (drinking, smoking and teaching him his immature ways). Also, wouldn't want to deny the child of having a father, but I don't think he'd be the best dad... he's just too immature and not ready. What are your thoughts? (this is my first child and I am new at all of it, so I'm really trying not to mess this up, thanks for any help/advice).

Answer 1

I think that even couples who are still together have disagreements on what they should teach their child. So since even you realize that the child needs BOTH parents, you have to tell him. For one, the child needs to have his father, and for two you and the baby deserve the child support. And he may surprise you with growing up a bit after having a little one of his own to be responsible for. If you see that he is doing things that are harmful with the baby you can take it to court and request him to have only supervised visitation. And remember if the child is with you full time and only visiting dad, he/she will learn most of his behaviors and morals from you.  As far as religion goes, the child will pick its own one day anyway.

Answer 2

People would wonder why you would sleep with a man and take that chance of getting pregnant... however since you are pregnant indeed, you do need to tell him as he has to provide child support.  You can go for full physical custody with limited, supervised visits.  Hopefully you'll meet someone else you deserve, but this guy will always be in your life as your child's father.  Good luck.

Answer 3

It will automatically look bad on your side should you refuse him paternal rights nor do you have the right to.Tell him, you might find him having a child will change his attitude completely.

Should he be a complete **** (excuse my language) then that is the time you take legal action in custody.

Answer 4

he kind of sounds like a horrible person. anyways just tell him and it might turn out better than you expected a real man even when he is not prepared for a child is excited. just tell. hope it all works out. i want to get pregnant but is afraid to do the test because i fear it might come out negative. count your blessings

Answer 5

If it was me then no I would not - but that is not the politically correct answer most people I suspect would give..