Should I tell my exes parents that they are going to be grandparents?

Question

I am 7 months pregnant and I am no longer with the father although we are still speaking. The thing is he doesn't want to tell his parents about the baby and I think that they have a right to know. I also think that my daughter has a right to know her grandparents but I do not think it is my place to tell them it is his........ I don't know what to do as my ex says that he does not want to tell them and that he will support me financially. He has a new partner now and obviously does not want her to know but surely me and my daughter deserve emotional support too?? Should I tell them?

Answer 1

I think it is their right as grandparents to know. I know if my son was going to have a child I would want to know and be in its life. Tell them, and if he has a problem then it is his. You are doing what is right for the child and the grandparents

Answer 2

YES you should let them know about this blessing! CONGRATS, They need to know but WHY haven't you told them already?

Good luck

Answer 3

Well, again, I am in the minority here.  I say no.  Since my husband and I divorced I don't want him having anything to do with my parents and their relationship with the kids.  Who is he to decide if MY parents see them or when or how??

It is HIS decision to tell them.  What if they are not kind people?  What if they are abusive? (which is my case)  There are instances when children don't need to be around certain people.

Just as I have no right to make decisions regarding our children's relationship with my ex's parents, you have no right or control over what goes on with your baby's dad and his parents.  If he wants them to see the baby or know about the baby then he will tell.  If not, then stay out of it.

Just my opinion.

Answer 4

That's a tough situation to be in, on the one hand they have a right to know but on the other could it cause future problems with your ex? is he likely to use it against you and make the situation difficult regarding access to the baby? will he get nasty?

If you are sure he won't then yes tell them, if it could cause you and your baby future hurt then think carefully before you proceed.

Answer 5

That's a personal decision, really.  Do you want to risk creating a rift between you, if you're currently on speaking terms?  And if you've never met them, who's to say they want to find out?  Only you know if you want to accept the possible consequences of telling his secret.

Why are you thinking you should be receiving emotional support from him??  That's no longer your right, since he's moved on. The only obligation you should hold him to is to pitch in to make sure his kid's taken care of.  If he steps up and actually takes part in your child's life, that's wonderful. But as long as he's keeping this secret, I wouldn't count on it.

One thing I would do is make sure to get court-ordered child support.  c**p happens, and you want to make sure you have the money he should be contributing for his offspring's well-being.  Don't assume that he will never back out of his financial agreement.

Oh, and if you haven't thought about it, make him get his family's health history for you.  You and your daughter need to know what might be prevalent in her genetic line.

Answer 6

YES def

good luck  

Answer 7

Go for it!

Answer 8

Yes. Just because you and him are no longer together doesn't mean you have to keep it a secret from him or them. I'm sure they would be excited over the news. Congratulations.

Answer 9

Although they DO have a right to know, you don't have the right to tell them.  You're right that it's not your place to tell them.  It's you're place to tell the baby's dad (which you have done), but it's up to him to tell his parents.  If your daughter (in later years) wants to tell them, she will have that right, but you don't.  His business with his parents is just that...HIS business.

Answer 10

yeah u should tell them

Answer 11

WHY has he not told them or his current partener? What game is he playing? He knocked you up and is not taking responsibility AT ALL for this child the way he should be. I think his current lover needs to know as well as his parents, you and your child should not have to be left out in the cold and "forgotten" for the rest of his life. I say tell them and hope they will knock some sense into his head!  Of course, if you want to have this baby alone and put him out of your life forever, that is your decision.

Answer 12

Yes!!!

OH MY GOSH!

It might make them upset if they find out another way

Answer 13

I have 4 kids, youngest being six and oldest being 20.  I am now a grandmother to a 10 month old grandson and I can't imagine not having him in my life.  It sounds like you baby's father is very immature and how dare he start a relationship with someone new and not tell her about the baby.  I would not only tell his parents but I would figure out a way to tell his new girlfriend.  They all have a right to know.  Don't expect any kind of warm, fuzzy reaction because it sounds like the raised an insensitive son so they may be insensitive as well.  But they and your baby has a right to know each other.  Best of luck and hopefully you will love and provide for this baby on your own because chances are you  are not going to get much support.  Best of luck.  

Answer 14

Yes tell them, they have a right to decide if they want to be part of their grandchild's life even if the father doesn't want to be, he cannot threaten you with withholding financial support as the CSA will deal with it.

You may find that they are a great support to you, the reason he doesn't want them to know is more than likely to be because they will be really annoyed that he is treating you like this!

Congratulations & good luck with whatever you decide to do xx  

Answer 15

Well I think his parents have a right to know. You need to tell him that you want them in your daughters life. Tell him if he doesn't tell them that you will.

Answer 16

I would def tell them....