Should I tell my family and friends that I have cancer?

Question

I don't want them to worry about it.

Is it best just to keep it too my self?

Would you want to know if your family member/friend had cancer?

PS I also declined any form of treatment.

Answer 1

I would tell them but also be prepared for some resistance when you tell them you are declining treatment. They will probably be upset about that and then after they have time to calm down they will realize it is your choice and hopefully support you.

I am sorry, my mother had cancer and it was very rough. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 2

sorry to hear.  But if you were in my family I would want to know that way I can prepare myself in advance.  If you don't tell your family once you pass away they will know then and start wondering why you did not tell them.  An ymaybe think you where keeping it from them because of another reason.  I think it is best for both you and your family that they know alot easier then keep a big secdret like that.  I wish you luck.

Answer 3

The only reason why your family would worry is because they love you, let them spend the rest of the time you have letting you know how much they care for you.

If you want to let it sink in for a little bit prior to telling them I can understand that but allow them to know eventually, they love you.

Answer 4

You should really tell them. Sure they'll worry about you, but they also are going to be there for you, to support you.

I would definitely want to know it if someone in my family had cancer.

Why don't you want the treatments?

Good luck!

Answer 5

I feel it would be good to tell your family. This would be the time they could support you and relieve some of the stress you are facing.  It was good for my family to walk and pray together through this time in our life.  May God Bless you as you decide.  Good Luck.  We have the memories of being there for my grandmother and sister-in-law.

Answer 6

i dont think it was also good to decline treatment but it is definately best to tell them and i will tell you why

think about how you would feel if something were to suddenly happen to a family member and you found out at that point. im sure youd be very sad. best to tell now.

stay strong

Answer 7

It's completely up to you if you want to tell your family and friends. Sometimes its easier to go through something like this when you have someones support. Yes, your family will probably worry, but its because they care about you. If i had cancer i would probably tell someone because i can only imagine how hard it must be for you. I'm here if you need to talk

Answer 8

why would you decline treatment... it would be  the best for you .. and YES i think you should tell your family. they will of coarse worry, but it's better than hiding it.

p.s. sorry you have cancer. it runs in my family..  

Answer 9

Yes. They deserve to know. It wouldn't be fair to them if you didn't tell them. My mom's friend (I've known her since I was born, so she's pretty important to me) has cancer, and it's scary, but I can't imagine if she hadn't told us and something had happened (God forbid). We would have had no warning.

I'm with you on the treatment by the way. I believe in quality of life over quantity. I would rather have one month of real life than a lifetime stuck in a hospital, or unable to do the things I love. It would be one thing if I thought the treatment would mean that I would eventually be able to get back to my life, but not if the treatment and hospitals would *be* my life.

I hope things turn out okay, is there any chance of remission? In any case, I hope you enjoy the rest of your life, and I'm very sorry for what you are going through.

Answer 10

You should tell people so that you all can say good bye instead of leaving this world without you knowing that they all love you and will take care of everything when you are gone. I am very sorry to hear that. I hope that you enjoy your last months here.

God Bless! Good luck!

Answer 11

I think it would be best to let them know whats going on...the sooner you tell them, the sooner they can get used to it and you won't feel like everyone is worrying about you.  Of course they will, it's natural to worry about someone you love when they aren't donig so hot, but the sooner you tell them, the sooner everyone can get comfortable to the new situation.

Answer 12

First off, It depends on how old you are, and how much time you have.

If you don't want them to worry about it, I totally understand, but you should NEVER keep them out of your life. Spend more time with your friends and family and do what makes you happy. This is up to you, but I really think you should get treatment, it could buy you more time to spend with your friends and family.

Answer 13

YES! Tell them! Do the treatment and pray to God! Even if you're an atheist and believe this is bs and it's nothing more than a crazy christian spreading his propaganda! Just pray and tell them you have cancer!

Think of it this way... you're going to die, what could you possibly lose?

Answer 14

I think you should tell them, even though you don't want them to worry. I think that they would much rather be worried now than feel guilty when it's too late, because they never knew. They want to be there for you and they can't unless they know - I think it's best to tell them. You can come to terms with it yourself first and find a way which you feel best telling them. I'd definitely let them know, it will give them time to prepare instead of it being a shock.

I'm very sorry and good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Answer 15

they are the people that love you the best. they deserve to know so they can help you through this. it will be rough and you need all the love and support you can get.   and if you keep it to yourself they will be more upset when they find out youve been hiding it from them.

God bless you.  

Answer 16

Since you've declined any form of treatment, then I would tell them.  Maybe not right away.  I mean, give yourself time to accept all of this before giving the news to them.  I think the support would be a wonderful thing for you.  However, I think you also must be prepared for all your family members urging you to seek treatment.  It will be a very difficult situation no matter when you tell them, so its really just up to you.  

Answer 17

oh wow this is really serious.I'm sorry that this is the case. Maybe you should inquire about some counseling on how to tell them if you wish. But you can also get some counseling on how to deal with it yourself. I would want to know if they had cancer because i would want to console them when they allowed me too. Someone should know but only tell those who you would really want to know and trust for them not to tell the others about your personal business.  

Answer 18

It's very thoughtful of you to not want to worry them but I think they might want to know.  I don't know what your reasoning is for declining treatment but you might check into some alternative things if traditional chemo & radiation isn't what you want.

Answer 19

yes. and i would want to know so i could spend every minute with them and make their last years memorable.  maybe you don't want to feel that way, you know, everyone wanting to be around you b/c you have cancer and such, but this is something i don't think you should keep to yourself.  

Answer 20

Your decision to decline treatment is just that...YOUR DECISION! However, when it comes to your family and friends I truely believe they should be told and given the chance to make their own decision on how they want to handle the news.

Answer 21

I am really sorry to hear that, honestly but,YES! Although I can understand you not wanting them to treat you different, at least your family Really has a right to know you are sick. They can be a good support system for you.

I wish you the best~

Answer 22

The best answer is Yes. I love my family and don't want them to suffer when I am in pain so I keep a lot of pain hidden from them but cancer can kill you which is why it's so important to share with them because they would want to spend more time helping you , spending time with you, sharing your trouble, and you should take action against anything that harms or kills human life including your own, but if you don't and you die soon they would want to cherish every moment with you and share your pain which would bring you all closer which would make your life more meaningful to all of you. If you come from a family that doesn't show thier personal feelings very well like I did ,except for my Mom , they still have those feelings and should be given the time to learn to show them before you leave this world. I still hope you choose to fight this scourge of humanity called cancer if for no other reason than for the value of all human life.

P.S. My Dad has prostate cancer that is not going away completely even after surgery and although it is a slow growing cancer and he probably won't die from it he still could and that knowledge has broken a lot of barriers in our relationship. He always kept things to himself but I have gotten to know him better because of the cancer. I also have taken steps to be healthier and get a physical exam for other cancers because of knowing. It's better to know than not know. Knowing is painful but leads to hope for people whether it be you or someone you love. Choose Hope.

Chris

The last piece of information I want to give you is to ask you to find out what blood type you have and to read a book called "Eat Right 4 Your Type". I am a type A+ blood type and so is my Dad. Type A's are more prone to cancer than other blood types and can reduce risk of cancer by eating foods that our blood types need most and avoiding certain foods that can cause our A+ blood types to become more prone to cancer. Cancer loves an acidic tissue to grow in. My Dad changed the food he ate to make his tissue alkaline and it did a great job in slowing the cancer. Almost got rid of it completely. Find the Book.

Chris

Answer 23

I am sorry to hear that, I can only imagine how frightening and lonely that could be. However painful, you should tell your family you have cancer. It gives them the chance to accept the fact that you may die soon. Rather then dying and not giving them the opportunity to prepare.

Answer 24

Yes, you should not go through this alone and you should give the people who love you a chance to show that and support you. If it was the other way around wouldn't you want to know? You also should ask your doctor for a counselor who deals with this issue too to help you. You are going to go through stages of anger and denial and grief. Please let someone help you through this.

Answer 25

ummm...well thats a hard decision its really your gut instinct on what you should do. but i would just to let them know but it depends who you are telling. just make sure if you do tell anyone just tell them you will be ok and not to worry. and just keep telling them that. but again its your gut instinct.

Answer 26

If it's incurable, I would tell your close immediate family and friends.  Word will spread to others.  I'm guessing you are an older person.  Do you think your family will force you into getting treatment, hence your comment about the machines?

Answer 27

I would definatley want to know if my friend or family member had cancer! Untimately the decision is up to you, but if I was your friend or family member, I would hope that you would tell me. If you tell them now, then they wont be is such a state of shock when that day comes.

God Bless

Answer 28

it's one thing if you get treatment and not told anyone because you at least have a fighting chance of surviving.  However, since you're not as likely to survive, I think that your family and friends want to have time to say goodbye and get used to the idea of not having you around and try to beat you up verbally for not getting treatment.  Speaking of not getting treatment, why would you refuse... are you dumb, scared, or have some stupid religeous reason to not get medical treatment?  Go get treatment you big dummy!!!  

Answer 29

I think it's pretty crappy that you told a bunch of strangers that you have this illness before you tell the family and friends who really care about you.

Sorry, but you should be ashamed.

Answer 30

I, like many others, am sorry to hear of your news.

Whether or not you tell your family & friends is completely up to you, HOWEVER, you have refused treatment, which probably means you have a terminal and potentially aggressive form of this S****y disease.

If i knew you, i would want to know that you were going to be leaving my life in the very near future - it is important for people to say goodbye as i am sure you are aware.

Having said that, you are the one who is dying. You are the one who needs to decide yourself what is best. I just hope the reason you are not telling them is so you dont have to see anyone hurting. Because that is just selfish.

I am sorry if i come across harsh, but i lost my favourite grandad a fortnight ago and hadn't even been told he was ill, or that he had died until the day after. I am trying to see things from everyones side here. But in my opinion, i think you should tell your family, let them help you through this tough and painful time.

Condolences. x

Answer 31

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament.  First, it's up to you.  I guess it depends on the prognosis, your situation....perhaps you want to just tell a couple of people if doctors think the cancer is aggressive. If you have one person that really understands you, perhaps this person can explain later why you didn't want everyone to know.  That might help.

I was in a similar position with an illness (ok, it's not the same as cancer).  I chose to tell my husband, certain members of my family, but not everyone.  DH ended up telling his mom whom I wished didn't know, but such is life.  In my case, I was/am young, it affected my pregnancy (and future pregnancies) and other future decisions - not everyone needed to know, so I let people know on a need to know basis.  It worked for me.  Take the time to think about it - it's not something you have to tell everyone immediately, no matter what, you have time to think about it.

Edit - I'm also thinking that you might have problems with people pestering you about declining treatment.  DH's grandfather has prostate cancer and he has declined treatment.  He told everyone and the entire family went into fits about him declining treatment. From what I understand, treatment with prostate cancer works very well, but not always.  He might live another 20 years with no problems - it's really his choice and now the family has calmed down about it and realized that it's his choice.