Should I tell my friends I am adopted?

Question

I am 14 years old, many of my friends ask me questions that bring me in difficult position like who did you take after mom or dad? It feels so awful to say... emmm i dunno both i guess...:( DO you think i should tell my friends that i am adopted? Or will they laugh at me? plz help...

Answer 1

I am adopted and I was never went around advertising that I was adopted but if something came up that I felt like I needed to let them know that, I was not ashamed to say it at all.  I was very open about my adoption, never kept it a secret either.  It continues into another generation.  I have 2 adopted children, and they are not ashamed to mention that they are adopted either.  If they laugh at you, they have the problem.  

Answer 2

My suggestion is to be proud of your history!!  Adoption is a wonderful amazing thing, and you are a part of that!  

You may find that your friends are very receptive and are interested in hearing more.  You may be one of the people out there that can break down the stigma and negativity that tends to follow adoption!

Best of luck to you sweetie!

Answer 3

If they laugh at you then they are not very nice people and it would be best to look for new friends.  If you like them and trust them they should be supportive.  If keeping it from them is becoming a problem then it is probably best to tell them; it is nothing to be ashamed of.  

Answer 4

If they laugh at you then they are heartless, it's your decision about telling them but it's a big lie to live, without being caught out eventually or suspected. You must feel and act awkward so they might accuse you of lying or figure it out and i'm sure you would rather they found out from you telling them. If you do tell them say the reason you hadn't mentioned it is because you didn't know if they would tease you and you were embarrassed if they are true Friends they will be understanding.

Answer 5

You know what?  Kids can be cruel.  You tell them whatever you want.  It's none of their business.  Really.  But, be proud of who you are.  When you feel comfortable, tell them as much of the truth an you want.. because it's nothing to be ashamed of- AT ALL.  

Answer 6

well if they r ur true friends then tell them because i am adopted to and i am 13

Answer 7

Hi,

I know how you feel. I am 14 too and I just told my best friend that I was adopted. I don't make it a point to tell everyone but I was comfortable telling her. If they are really your friends then they will not think of you any differently. There is nothing wrong with being adopted and it just means that your biological parents cared enough about you to want to give a better life. Don't feel bad about anything and just tell whomever you feel that you can trust. I really hope that your decision works out well.  

Answer 8

I don't see what difference it makes if you were adopted.  Some people have weird ideas about it such as your parents not being your real parents, but most just don't care.

Answer 9

I was adopted at 3 months old. I was raised by my parents, knowing all along that I was adopted. They said I was even more special than the other kids because they got to choose me. Adoption can be a tough subject, but your friends should understand and support you. Get educated on adoption, and tell them what you know about it. Most people will be more interested in hearing about it than making fun of you.

Answer 10

By the time I was 14, my friends were cool with it.  But, when I was smaller/younger I did get teased sometimes about my adoption.  When I was a teenager, though, I would laugh like crazy when people would say, "You look like your dad."  When I could get my breath back, I would ask, "Oh, so have you met my dad?"  (While my adoptive father was sometimes standing right there.)  Just for the record, he did NOT take offense at this -- he would laugh right along with me.  Or sometimes I would say, "Yeah, it's weird how much we look like each other considering that we aren't related -- except on paper."  By the time I was a teenager, I got a big kick out of 'shocking' people who made assupmtions about how our family had been 'constructed'.

Whether or not you tell your friends about your adoption is a decision you have to make for yourself.  I'll tell you what, though, I think REAL friends are going to stick by you no matter what.  When I was 12, I had a friend that confided with me and two others that she has AIDS.  At that time, AIDS was completely unheard of for the 'average' person -- definitely for the average kid.  We asked her a lot of questions and I never felt a need to treat her differently or tease her or avoid her.  I'm very happy to say that we were close friends for all the time that we knew each other up to and including the day that she passed away (at the age of 23).

I can't promise you that there will be no problems.  I don't know your friends or what their reaction might be.  I don't think it's a good idea to lie to friends (or anybody) when something comes up but the example you gave isn't what I would call a lie.  It can be awkward.  I hope you have some really good friends who will care about you and love you no matter what.  That's what friends are SUPPOSED to do.  They might have a lot of questions, though.  Mine did.

Take care and Best of Luck to you!!